Friday, December 26, 2008

A Suze Orman Christmas?

OK, I have to post this. As I was writing the post below, I had the Suze Orman Show on. She is actually telling someone she cannot remember the last time she spent money on a Christmas gift for somebody. Instead, she invites people over to her house and lets them pick something out of her closet, or just calls them. Are you kidding me? I mean, I know lesbians are "crafty" but come on. She's worth like millions right? People, please comment below! Is she for real?

Some Christmas Fun

Ah Christmas morning...how fun! I checked out "Michelle's Path" blog to see how she her husband spent it with their daughter Kayla, who was having her very first Christmas...you need to see the pictures! So cute. I can't wait to see that look on little Finster when he gets here! In the meantime, there are our other family members, and they had a blast as well. The Boys got way too many toys from us and people in our family. The cookies in the slideshow are from Charlie and Michele, and yes, they are DOG cookies! That's how spoiled they are. Enjoy!

The "Death Cake". Gregg made this 12, yes 12 layer cake to take to Christmas dinner. OMFG. Yes I said that.

Little Micky (top) and Maxie got a stick. Broken off the mesquite tree out front with love. Marty, Maxie's father who lives in the cage downstairs, got a celery stalk. Since he spends all day screaming he deserves it. He does know how to say "Merry Christmas" so I guess that counts for something.


I get to share the Boy's toys, but always pre-Lab slobber.

New Kitchen Aid products! Gregg thinks they're for him, but I will enjoy the fruits of that labor! (See "Death Cake" above!)


Opening gifts...Labrador style!


Dog cookies...from cousins Charlie and his wife Michelle. We left their house on Christmas Eve with bags of gifts for the Boys. Michelle's mother told us she is tired of buying gifts for Labradors; she was hoping to buy a baby gift this year! I'm hoping next year will be her chance.

Paintgate...Physical Evidence



The evidence is in on Paintgate...with photos!

These are the colors for the ongoing Paintgate scandal. I still don't think it looks bad...very green, but not bad! Remember, we don't know if we're having a girl or a boy, and we want to decorate in a jungle baby animal theme. So take a look, and who knows, if I need to change them to keep the peace, well, I'll do it...
I'm showing limited photos of color only, the nursery itself is barely started. It's an ongoing work.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas and Congrats to Paul and Chris!

Wow it's 7:30 PM on Christmas Day and I'm exhausted! I have some good pictures of our holiday to drag off the camera and post up, but tomorrow's another day. Right now, I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, and also offer my congratulations to Paul and Chris over at the It's Daddies Plural blog. They got a call from their prospective birth mother this morning, and their long awaited little baby girl has arrived! She wasn't supposed to be here until Monday, but I guess Santa talked her out of waiting! I encourage you all to pop over and check out their blog...what an exciting Christmas present for them--way to go Santa!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

A Quick Update

So sorry I've been lazy this month. I thought for sure December would be pretty bloggy, if only to use posting as an excuse to stop eating holiday treats which seem to be everywhere. As usual this year Gregg did most (all?) the holiday shopping for the family but at least I've been wrapping stuff. I don't get it. Whenever I wrap gifts they come out horrible. They look like someone wrapped them and dropped them down the stairs. As gay as I am who'd figure it? Oh well at least I can throw together a fabulous dried pasta gift basket with my eyes closed. Here's a hint for the straight readers: As I realized this weekend, you know you're gay when you're holding up the line at Cost Plus (that store alone is a ringing gaydar alarm) while you and the cashier, who you can tell owns at least one cat, discuss the fact that lately a good malbec is your favorite Argentinean red and you wish the bulk of German Rieslings weren't so darn sweet. Oh and my gratuitous we'll have a baby someday ending to this post it that hopefully next year we can add another stocking to the fireplace. Now that's sweeter then a Riesling!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Ripley & Chase vs. Old St. Nick


During Christmas, the tradition is to bring your kid (or your two year old Labradors) to see Santa. That's what we did today. Of course, you don't usually take your kid to the park to chase tennis balls for half an hour first to calm them down. (Or do you? Well whatever works...) I asked the Boys to sit next to the chair. Santa asked me if I wouldn't rather have them sit on his lap. Together that's roughly 210 pounds of excited to be here Labs, so I asked him if he was sure he wanted to do that. The reply? "I'm Santa, I can do anything". Well can't argue with that.

I'm not sure they're gonna get what they asked for, a swimming pool and a basket of kittens. Santa told them he could tell they've been good but then again he's a really old man. The Boys agreed with Santa, but left out the part that in the last five minutes Ripley's tail cleared 3 feet of product from the dog biscuit shelf and Chase relieved a woman of a bag of rawhide bones she was planning to buy, but on the other hand, have you ever seen dogs who can smile for the camera like that?

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Shiny Object to Distract Us From Paintgate

OK OK I get it about the paint! I know I need to tone down my craziness a bit about projects; I guess it's just the perfectionist in me. And per requests, I'll post some pictures. If you want my boyfriend's take on it, you can see his point of view here. It's not exactly pretty.

HOWEVER, in light of this and recent events, a distraction is called for, and my friend Rik has the perfect one on his blog. Take a look at this post and tell me it isn't one part funny, two parts dead on, and a dash of evil genius.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Painted Into A Corner

Well I did a bad thing this weekend. I painted the baby's room. Well that part's good, it looks nice. The problem is I tend to get obsessive about projects, and that happened with this. See a few months ago I agonized forever about what colors to paint it. We don't know if we're going to have a boy or a girl, so we wanted something that would work either way. The room was sort of a dark brown, too depressing for a baby, so we wanted to paint it and replace the carpet with wood and generally get a real nursery ready in advance. Gregg and I went to Home Depot and after looking at every chip in the store, decided on sort of a sage color called "restful". So the day after Thanksgiving I headed off to get the paint. The problem was when I got there, instead of just getting what I needed, I let myself wander over to the paint chips and started thinking maybe there was a better color. And after 20 minutes of looking, there was! Marsh fern, much brighter then boring old restful And if I painted two of the walls this gorgeous thyme green, this will be the most fabulous baby room EVER! I'm sure G. won't care, after all they are still in the "green" family. So I called him up and told him and he said, in a sort of defeated tone, if that's what you want, get it. I ignored what I could sense was my nagging better judgement and got it.

I got home, used the primer, and the next day painted the walls. Came out pretty good, Gregg liked it too. Now the ceiling needed something. We had decided on some color called "yellow mist", which was a sort of off white yellow wash color that went great with "restful". On Sunday I went back to Home Depot and got...yeah you know it's coming..."highlight", an off white with an almost imperceptible amount of green in it, which would be perfect for the wall colors. It looks white, but pulls it all together plus has a very reassuring quality to it. So I called. Twice. But no answer, he was at the gym. What the heck, he was OK with the wall colors, once he sees how this looks with it he'll love it. I bought "highlight".

Gregg got home a few minutes after I did and he had some groceries with him. As he was putting the limes away, I started to mention how I saw a great new color for the ceiling. Did you ever know that when you smash limes on the kitchen floor, the juice comes out a lot thicker then you'd imagine. Stickier too. He was pissed. I won't go into all the details of it, but there was a beauty of a fight. Looking back, I can see it was my fault. I took something we both decided on and changed it to be my way. I sometimes have a habit of doing that. We ended up keeping the paint. I think it looks good. G has no opinion since he hasn't seen it yet; made some comment about going into the baby's room once the kid turns three. We pretty much made up. I just feel kind of guilty. So if you're reading this babe, I'm sorry. I'll try to work on it. And you'll keep forgiving me like you have for over 11 years now. Cause you love me.

The room still looks fantastic however.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I hope you all had enough to eat...I did. We went to my sister's house and she served up a great meal; we had good food and a good time with the neices and nephews. Before we went over there, I admit to tearing up a bit as I watched the end of Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Seems not so much a big deal here in Arizona, but growing up in New York it was mandatory TV in the morning. Ask anyone from NY when Christmas "officially" starts and you'll get the same answer. Not after Halloween, not when stores start playing carols, not when decorations start appearing in mid November. For New Yorkers, Christmas officially starts at the end of Macy's parade when Santa, the real Santa, arrives on his sleigh in Herald Square. Not one second before. We're told Santa himself makes the trip to Macy's to proclaim Christmas officially here. I always feel nostalgic watching that part, but today I just thought about what it would be like to see little Finster's wide open eyes and us telling him the real Santa just started Christmas. I told Gregg be prepared because when it's five or six we're going to have Thanksgiving dinner on Long Island after spending the morning watching the parade in the city. I want the kid to see it when he can enjoy it, and when it still believes in the magic of Santa.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

My Kind of Baby Products!

Oh this is a great website for baby gifts...with my kind of humor! Check out Wry Baby. They don't have any of the products I talked about in the Cool Gadgets post. (Actually, that one gets hits all the time from people googling "cool gadgets"...poor unsuspecting straight people!) They do have some great baby tee shirts though. Like this one. Gotta love it!


Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Tonight, On A Very Special "Blossom"

No it's not a tribute to "Blossom". I guess it could be an excuse to post pictures of Joey Whatisname, but no. Remember, they used that tagline every week for some great event on an otherwise moronic show? Remember? You don't? Well, so three people in the blogosphere get it so what...

Anyway the point. I added Gregg as a contributor to the blog. I thought it would be cool to have special guest stars every once in a while. Of course he says he's not going to do it but we can always hope. I'm sure it will need to be heavily edited but at least we'll get my partner's take on all of this. He'll come across with his fake crass, uncaring, why do I have to do this when I don't want to ways, but he's a giant teddy bear who will be a great father. You listening Gregg?

Monday, November 24, 2008

Playdates = 2 Tennis Balls and a Poop Bag

I'm stressing too much over this baby raising thing. My sister talks about how complicated it is to arrange successful "play dates" for the kids. First, my mother never heard that word. In the '70's it was called "It's the weekend/summer/spring break, get your bike and get out of this house and don't come back until I call you for lunch". Second, I arranged a play date yesterday for Ripley and Chase with their friend Bronco, the Yellow Lab who lives next door. They chased tennis balls and each other for 30 minutes while we picked up their poop. Then I took them home to lay on the floor and drool after eating a few crackers.

How different could it be with toddlers?

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Not Sure I Like It

Hmmm, this didn't come out the way I planned...I'm not sure this new look for the blog is going to last very long!

Oh by the way, check this out. We went to Chuck and Jim's house Saturday for a gay dads group night. Chuck said he had a dream that we would have a baby before Christmas. I don't much believe in that stuff, but if you remember I had a "premonition" our home study would be done before Labor Day and we came in within a day or two to spare. Could it be? Better get my letter's next draft into the agency. We looked all day for some pictures we think they'd like, ones of us "doing" things. We can't find any of us together in action shots. It does seem strange huh? Eleven years and we can't find a couple pics that would work. Well our neighbor David said to grab some different T-shirts and a camera and we'll go across the street and hike Falcon Hill with Chase and Ripley, then change and go shoot hoops at the park (ha yeah that will be believable!). In other words, fake it!

Blog Reboot

Well I've been blogging now since April. Since this is my first blog, I kept the layout relatively simple, adding little gadgets to the sidebar here and there. But I think it's time for a reboot. I've seen some really cool looking blogs out there, and it' time to do a little redecorating. For posterity, bye bye old look!



Friday, November 21, 2008

The Happy Post I Promised Like 20 Minutes Ago

That didn't take long. Here is the cheer up post I just talked about. Enjoy!


Letter Update

Well we got some feedback from the agency about the letter. Luckily it's mostly formatting stuff, so maybe we can make the changes and get it back to them by next week. Shouldn't be too much longer I hope!

I have to say this is starting to get to me a bit. I won't mind waiting once we're on the market for a birth mother. But this process of even getting that far is getting on my nerves. We've been at this since February, and we're still not a marketable commodity as far as the agency is concerned. I just want to get this process finished so we'll be in the pool of prospective parents. I'm trying not to let it get to me but it's hard. This weekend Jim and Chuck are having another gay dad's meeting at their house and once again here we go with no update, no birth mother, and no kid. If Gregg reads this he's gonna be mad at me again but damn, come on already. It's like putting your favorite dessert on the table in front of you and then just staring at it for months before you're allowed to eat it. (Cue Howard Jones!) I feel like the agency, for all the money we've paid them so far, should have someone on staff to assist in graphically getting these things together for the clients. I mean, they know what they want to see, so they should have someone there to help out. I can understand the website part; let the clients create it. But how hard would it be to hire someone to assist with letters? We'd save a ton of time if that were the case.

I feel my blog is starting to take on an angry, bitter tone lately and the hopeful and excited one I started with is fading away. I don't want it to be like that; I'm sure no one wants to read a daily dose of depression. I'll come up with some happier posts I promise. Google helps; pick two words and google them, then click the first link on the list. I did republican savior. I'm cheerier already!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Getting Closer...

OK getting close...we have a great PDF of our birth mother letter that we just sent to Lane at the IAC. If you remember the text has already been approved, the pictures have been approved, now we just need it all tied together. My friend Bob at work has put it together with us, and he and I have been tweaking it over the last few weeks. I think it looks great but we'll see what Lane thinks. He gave a quick reply saying at first glance it looks good, but he'll go over it and give us feedback by the end of the week. Fingers crossed. Superstition prevents me from linking to it here. Don't worry once it's done you'll see it.

Side Note: Ripley and Chase heard the Obama girls get a puppy now that Dad has won the election. It's only fair they get a kitten once the baby's here. Umm, no. Keep trying though.

Side Note 2: Crap I forgot what Side Note 2 is. I thought "Oh this would be a good Side Note 2" as I wrote Side Note 1. Now I can't remember what it was. I could make some crap up and put it here but you'd see right through it wouldn't you? Ha.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Running on Empty

Ahh this one's a stretch to relate to babies but I think I can do it. Kind of off topic. My brother talked me into doing the Phoenix 10K this Sunday. Well he didn't really talk me into it as much as I felt bad if I didn't. For the last five years every January I've run the Rock N Roll Arizona Marathon here in Phoenix. This year was a tough slog for me; it wasn't my worst run by time, that fell somewhere in the middle. It was my worst one physically. Last fall I was sick for a few months with, of all things, Legionnaire's disease. I know right, who gets that? Well I did, sometime in June. It took my doctor and a lung specialist a gazillion tests and four months to figure it out. A week on antibiotics and it's gone. I think I lost some lung capacity, because my normal marathon training is September to January, and I missed a few runs and for the bulk of my training just felt like I could not reach my normal potential. (My doctor said I shouldn't be running but I had a marathon to prepare for so lung disease or not, I'm going. I didn't tell Gregg that...oops.) I really love running, but this just took all the joy out of it. I remember crossing the finish line thinking "That's it, five is the magic number no more". I let my running slide after that. Running and I broke up over the summer, and it's only been in the last two weeks that we've started flirting again, taking the Boys out for a three miler here and there. I'm starting to feel bad I'm not signed up to run this year, so I decided to do a five miler on Friday and see how I felt. It wasn't bad, but fives are for me my base run. What I mean is that if I had to pick one run to do every day, it would be a five miler. Short enough that I could run it every day, long enough to make me feel good. I call running "Sneaker Therapy". I can be stressed or emotional about something, and a good run clears my brain. My favorite? A five mile run at night, temps in the low 50's, just me, darkness, and the run. I'll feel so good after that. Since running May to October around here feels like pointing a blow dryer in your face, you don't always get to do that. I've really been "wound a little tight" due to the election, stress over Prop. 102, work, and adoption hurdles. I've been pushing all exercise away, which is not like me. So this was a good way to get back into it.

Well my time was around 55 minutes or so; disappointing as I should have gotten in the high 40 minute range. That's what you get for not training! It felt so good though; I love a good race. I get off on the mental energy of it; you're really racing against the clock and your last time, not each other, so there is a feeling that we're all striving for that goal together. Kind of weird I guess but I love the camaraderie and support runners give each other in the "mob" as we move down the course. It's hundreds or thousands of people, depending on the race, just reaching a common goal. I think it was the jolt I needed though because I'm ready to start out there again. It's too late to start training for the marathon; I use an 18 week program for that. My brother and some of his in laws are going to do the half so I'll think about that. Not the most time left to prepare but I think I could jump into training and post a respectable time. We'll see. The most important thing is to get out there again.

Oh the baby part. Well it does help relieve adoption stress, for sure, but I love those cool jogging strollers. I could do that. I already take Ripley and Chase on runs with me (they love it) so I could handle a stroller and run at the same time. Something to think about...

*Note: If any of you are runners, and wondering about my marathon PR's, here they are below. For those of you who are not runners, a marathon is 26.2 miles. And I'd recommend everyone do at least one marathon in their lives; completing it is a feeling of accomplishment like no other!
2004 -- 3:56:57
2005 -- 3:54:50
2006 -- 3:56:29
2007 -- 3:48:12
2008 -- 3:55:48
Ha! I was so pissed in '07 I could taste 3:45 most of the race!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Adoption Bans are Coming Next

You may want to skip this one if you're easily offended it's not one of my typical posts. No really. You might want to. Skip it.

Last night, the righteous victory for Barack Obama not withstanding, equality took the back seat of the bus. Marriage bans in Florida, Arizona, and California all passed. Most disturbingly, a ban on adopting children by gays was passed in Arkansas:

Voters passed a measure banning unmarried couples living together from serving as adoptive or foster parents...The adoption and foster ban, aimed primarily at keeping gays from becoming foster or adoptive parents, received support from nearly 57 percent of voters in unofficial and incomplete returns...The foster measure's sponsor, the Arkansas Family Council, painted its proposal as a battle against a "gay agenda." The conservative group successfully pushed for an amendment banning same-sex marriage four years ago..."I think the voters realized that this was about child welfare, rather than the rights of adults," said Jerry Cox, the council's president.

My Spidey sense is tingling on this one. They've almost exhausted the marriage trick throughout the states. They need something else, especially since the right was handed such a crushing defeat last night. In order to get their voters to the polls in the next few elections, they're going to need something for motivation. This could be it. Notice how they go to the welfare of the child right away. No home study info, no social worker input. See here's the formula. First ban gay marriage. (Sorry, I should really call it what it is, Equal Marriage). Once that's done, start enacting laws that apply to married couples only. It's that easy. You can get around the gay thing entirely and never even bring it up. In the case of Arkansas open bigotry and hurtful "thinking" (for rednecks I put that in quotes) is celebrated, so they actually went out of their way to make sure the gay American citizens living there knew it was aimed at them. This is done to help demoralize them and make them realize they are abnormal and should be ashamed. See if you weren't freaks, maybe we'd protect your constitutional rights to "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness". So faggots, it's your own damn fault. What's next? Hey how about banning gays from being teachers? You know, for the welfare of the child. They're already unqualified to be Cub Scout Leaders. We could legislate gays out of the health care business because they spread germs. Maybe we should ban unmarried couples living together from having a dog because they might want to, you know, marry it.

Why is it that any group with "Family" in the name is always against leaving people alone to create and live in their own families? Who appointed them to speak for all families anyway? Oh right, religion. How could I forget.

OK you know what? I was going to stop here because this blog is about our journey to adoption but the more I think about this as I proof read what I just wrote, I can't. My stomach is knotted up and I'm sorry I've just had about enough. I'm really mad. How dare they, in the name of religion, decide who is fit to raise a child and who isn't? Excuse me, but if you live in Arkansas in some backwoods shack you don't get to decide on the "welfare of children" with your tenth grade home schooled educations. This bull shit starts with a small group of religious assholes in places like this who find a few presentable people to dress it up and push it on the rest of us. I'm sick and tired of being told "the bible said" or "god spoke to me" are valid reasons to enact law in this country. Name me one law pushed by religion that actually gives rights to people. There isn't one. They're all designed to take rights away and get us closer to bible rule. The poor are loved by Jesus right? Not by religion. Try and send some tax cuts the way of the poor so they can actually scrape out a living and the wingnuts are marching in the streets with torches screaming "Socialism!". Heal the sick? Sorry, no. That might mean we need to do stem cell research, so better to have a long painful death from cancer or some other terrible illness then actually help the people who have families get better. This is exactly why, unless it's out of respect for a family member getting married or some such, I will never set foot in any church again. I will never donate a single cent to any charity run by religion. I refuse to vote for any measure, no matter how good for society as a whole, that is crafted with a religious bent.

And they better keep their grubby hands off my children.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Election Day, 2008, Night


Prop. 8 in California has now stripped away the rights of some of the Americans who live there and voided their marriages tonight. Two couples I know, one of them our adoption counselor, have had their marriages voided by people that don't even know them. Prop. 102 in Arizona has enshrined discrimination into the state constitution and banned equal marriage. These are sad things for LGBT families. But as horrible as those things are, I'll think about them tomorrow. Tonight, I'll savor in the victory America has achieved in Barack Obama. I've followed him for the last four years. The book mark in my browser says "Obama Exploratory Committee" not Obama for President because I've supported him that long. In him, I see hope for our country, our world, and our planet. This is a better country now that he is our duly elected leader. I have no fears of bringing up a child under an Obama administration. Yes, I'll be sad, and motivated, in thinking about the discrimination and setback we've been handed tonight by these anti gay props. But there is hope. All I can say are the three words I've been saying since that historic day that Barack announced his candidacy in February, 2007: Yes We Can.


Election Day, 2008, Morning

Today is a day steeped in history. You can feel it in the air this morning. It's not like any other election day I can remember. Lately, any day we've had that has gone down as a profound day in the history of America has been tragically unbearable. The first bombing of the Trade Center. The USS Cole attacks. The absolute worst day I've ever seen in my life, a day I will never forget, September 11th 2001. The beginning of a war that never should have been fought. The financial meltdown of 2008. But not this one. This is the most exciting day for America in a long time. A day 400 years in the making. This could be the day America finally washes it's soul of our country's original sin of inequality. If Barack Obama wins, nothing will ever be the same again. The conversation of race will still be here, but will be changed forever. Our future will change with it. The end of the so called Republican "Southern Strategy". The end of Jesse Jackson/Al Sharpton/Strom Thurmond/George Wallace politics, forever. Vindication for one of my personal hero's, the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. Will other barriers begin to fall as well? The ultimate equality for women? Beginnings of full acceptance, legal and otherwise, for gays and lesbians? The healing of a country and bonding of it's people finally, as one nation, helping each other? I don't know. I do know that I am so proud of my country today, and I will be able to tell a baby with "those two daddies" that yes, little one, someday you too can grow up to be whatever you want. Even President of the United States.


Sunday, November 2, 2008

Organ-ized Chaos

Last weekend was another "Gay Dads" group outing. We joined some of the guys for a trip to Organ Stop Pizza in Mesa. When we pulled into the parking lot, I got some eye rolling from Gregg because it just struck me as funny that a bunch of gay guys were having a meeting at a place called "Organ Stop". Then again, I guess my sense of humor isn't always the same as everyone else's...

Organ Stop is a member of what I call the "Germ Festival Restaurants", a place which is full of kids running around all over the place like Peter Piper Pizza or the one with that rodent, Chuck E. Cheese. Their shtick is they have a giant organ that rises from the basement. (No, not that kind sillies, the musical one. Geez, you people!) Some guy plays songs and puppets dance around while the kids run all over the place climbing on tables and generally causing mild destruction. You know, good family fun. A glimpse into parenthood future. Much like the ghost of Christmas future in A Christmas Carol, it's scary and bleak. But we can suck it up once in a while to make the kid happy. *Grin*

Friday, October 31, 2008

Boo!

Relax; no this isn't a John McCain rally or the "Yes on 102 Ban Those Uppity Gays From Getting Married in AZ" headquarters. It's just our front yard, decked out for Halloween. It'll be fun to have little Finster help on this kind of stuff his two future Daddies love doing it. Maybe I'll carve a pumpkin later before the trick or treaters arrive. I think it will look something like this...


Monday, October 20, 2008

"Typo-ver" It

OK I'm in slight panic mode...
The stupid cards again. The back side has the IAC's phone number which is
1-800-877-OPEN
"OPEN" is 6736. I put 4262, which is the last four of our toll free number! Ugh I can't believe I didn't catch that with the amount of obsessing I did over them. (None of you caught it either!) Now what to do about it? Gregg says stop worrying if they really want to talk to us they'll just call our number. I guess I could just get out a Sharpie and blot that part out. Take a moment and comment on this quickie poll:

I should:
A. Use the Sharpie and stop worrying
B. Reprint the cards
C. Print a sticky label with IAC's information and cover it up.
D. Stop being so gay and get over it; leave the cards alone.
E. Puns aren't funny and the title of this post is way out in left field.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

A Couple Of Quick Hits...

I've been such a lazy blogger lately...
Here's a few thoughts not quite long enough to warrant their own posts...
  • The Cards...Thanks for all the input! I'm glad you liked 'em. That was my most commented post so far. Mostly cause of Rik's stirring the pot...but hey he's going to opening night for our Phoenix Coyotes with us this Saturday so I'll cut him some slack! (Go 'Yotes!)

  • The Cards? Well so much for sending them to Planned Parenthood...word is they either send them all back or just dump them. They don't want to be seen as promoting one couple over another so instead just recommend agencies. Hmmm, OK...

  • The Cards! I'm sending a batch to my friend Jason in southern California. He's a social worker for the state, and may have some opportunity to get them into a birthmother's hands.

  • Birth Mother Letter I know what you're thinking...Blogga Please! You've been saying you're going to get that done forever. I know, I know. I'm lazy about graphical stuff. We have the text, we have most of the pics, I'm just going to do it and send it in. I found someone at work that is good with that stuff and he's going to help me.

  • Bureaucracy Ugh so exasperating! When did I post that our home study was done? First week of September. You think the local AZ agency sent it over to the IAC in California? NO. We called and they said they needed a release in writing. Hello, the IAC recommended them. They knew what we hired them for. Ugh. Hopefully they'll send it out this week.

  • Oh Bama! Get this election over with!! I've been addicted to politics forever, and now I'm up to about four hours of news a night after work. Let's just get this thing over and get Barack into the White House. I think Gregg's happy cause it means he gets some alone time, but I'm sure he's tired of hearing me drone on about health plans, flag pins, and bailouts. I'm headed to Central Phoenix Saturday morning for an Obama rally maybe that will get it out of my system so I can enjoy the hockey game that night. Hell, if I hang around the rink long enough eventually I'll be qualified to become Vice President myself...

GO COYOTES! Hoooooowwwwwwlllllll....

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Such a Card

Finally getting around to posting the business card...you likey? Not sure if I do. After I made it I realized I should have made it to match the colors and fonts of the greggandbobby website. Well I can do that to the next batch. I've been getting them to family and friends; once I start sending them out to different places, I'll let you know where they go.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Vacation Vacation

It's time to go home tomorrow...finally. I have spent the last few days running all over Long Island visiting people I haven't seen in a long time. I was really happy to see them, but jetting from one end of the Island to the other all week has tired me out. Not to mention Scott and Dawn's wedding, which was great, but admittedly I had a little too much gin. Oops. Well as Nora famously said in Auntie Mame, "She doesn't live here; she just does her drinking here, and her passing out here...". It was a great wedding; Scott looked happy, Dawn looked beautiful, and everyone was excited about Project Baby. All in all a good trip. I wish Gregg could have come with me, and I wish my grandmother was in better health, but I do miss Long Island and I'm glad I came home even if it was for just a few days.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

NY State of Mind

At the airport, 6:30 AM, waiting for my flight to Long Island for my cousin Scott's wedding. It's just me, my sister Tricia, and her daughter Lily. We're leaving our husbands home and hitting the road. Gregg and I made up those cards I posted about so I'll have a bunch to pass out to people. I'm going to give some to my college room mate Dave and his wife. He's an emergency room doctor on the Island and she is a pediatrician in the city. (Note to non-NY'ers: "The City" is New York City, the greatest city in the world. To NY'ers, that's the only city we mean when we say "The City". Your city doesn't measure up. Deal with it. LOL. Gregg hates that!) I'm going to give them a bunch of cards who knows maybe we'll get some good leads. I'll take a pic of the card and post it later. For now, got to get some coffee and a bottle of water before we get on board. Sun's up now over the mountains; Arizona sure has some beautiful sunrises!

Monday, September 22, 2008

A Day at the Lake


Just a quick one...I took The Boys out on my parents boat with us this Saturday...as you can see they had a fun day! They were in the water the entire time, as usual. I swear those two are part fish.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Pick A Card, Any Card...

Here's a message I posted on the IAC's adoptive parent forums. I was looking for some input on networking ideas, and lots of people use business cards. I'm going back to Long Island for a wedding in about two weeks, and I want to have something to give to people in case they hear of a situation, or a friend of a friend type of thing. Here's my post; feel free to leave your ideas in the Comments...

I've heard a lot about handing out business cards as a networking tool. As I'll be doing some traveling, I think this is a good idea. I'm wondering what some of you did in the design of the card, with such limited space. Obviously, I'll include...
  • Our website address
  • Our toll free number
  • Our email address
  • The web address and phone number to the IAC
I'm wondering...
  • Did you include first and last name(s)?
  • Was there any kind of graphic?
  • I'm thinking there should be a short statement that gets the point across as to what we're doing.
Any suggestions? Am I trying to put too much on the card? What do you guys think? Thanks for all the great posts so far; we hope to be on the books in the next few weeks as our home study has FINALLY been approved!

B.
_________________

Bobby "of" Bobby & Gregg
Not our site but my adoption ramblings www.thosetwodaddies.blogspot.com

Friday, September 12, 2008

California, The Golden State

Ah, California...why did we leave you?

Today I had a talk with Lane, our adoption coordinator at the IAC. Mostly we talked about what pictures to use for our birth mother letter. Out of about 50 or so, we picked out 5. Since we need around 8 to 10, we have more work to do. At least he liked one of my favorites, Gregg with Nat and Lyssy:

He also like this one with me and The Boys, which surprised me. He said birth moms like dogs, they like holiday shots, and they like cute, and this picture has all three. By cute I'm sure he means me, but he could mean those Santa outfits. They do look as we like to say "Labrador-able":

Anyway so we need to find some more. But that's not the point. I heard some very good things today. First, Lane kept telling me don't be surprised if this thing moves quickly once we're on the books. The interracial couple thing is going to work hugely in our favor. There's a black / white male couple from Tucson on the site that Lane works with, and they matched within about two months. Their birth mother lives in California. Now here's the thing: the way the homestudy will be written by our local agency, even though the court legally approved only one of us to adopt it will be clear that both of us are qualified. The IAC picked that agency for a reason. They know what that report is going to look like. Now in California, the IAC can present that home study report to a birth mother and after the baby arrives, she can sign two relinquishments, one for each of us. We'll then return to Arizona with the baby after about a week. It will be six months later that we'll have to go to court for the adoption finalization. If we go to court here in Arizona, they will make one of us the legal parent (we have already decided who that will be but we are keeping that as a private matter). However, if we go to California, a lawyer can show two relinquishments and plead to the judge that the birth mother wants us both to be parents and we have a home study that clears the two of us. He can then allow us both to adopt the child with full parental rights and put both our names on the birth certificate (once an adoption is finalized a birth certificate is issued with the adoptive parents names and the original is destroyed). The state of Arizona will have to legally recognize this adoption and we'll both be legal parents! That would be incredible!

All states must recognize legal agreements of the other states. There is only ONE legal proceding that states can ignore. ONLY ONE. What could be issued to you in one state that the others don't have to recognize? I've got a virtual lollipop to the first one of you who can tell me what it is. Trust me, it won't surprise you.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Florida Rising?

I have to give a shout out to Becky and Holly from Two Moms With A Plan, one of the blogs I follow. They are reporting that the state of Florida, which brought us such sunny disasters as the Hanging Chad, Terry Shiavo (probably spelled wrong but I doubt she'll complain), and espadrilles with business suits may have actually done something right today. The state ban on gay adoption was ruled unconstitutional in a case that centers around a gay man who has been the legal foster parent of a boy, now 13, with learning disabilities since 2001. For seven years this man and his partner nurtured and raised this boy. In court, the boy testified he wanted the man to be his "forever father--like all the other kids have--because I love him". Social workers submitted a home study highly recommending the adoption be approved; there was no better home and no better parents then he already had.

Now I'm sure you may want to scream "Activist Judge!" because the will of the people has been thwarted. Well--not exactly. The will of some people. Here is why this ban was put in place in the first place, in 1977:

In the ruling, the judge noted that the statute was passed by lawmakers in 1977 amid a politically charged campaign to, as one lawmaker at the time put it, send gay people ''back into the closet.''

So, it's not to protect children. It's not to better society. It's to keep those uppity gays from insisting on their constitutional rights to be 100% American citizens. Oh those gays, always shouting and getting in your face! Sheesh. (Oh it also wins elections.) The only other state remaining to outright ban gay adoption is...wait for it...the suspense is I'm sure killing you...Mississippi! There's a shock! Here is a list of other things that are banned in Mississippi:
  • Dentistry
  • Soap
  • Science
  • Books that don't star Jesus
  • Dog leashes that aren't made of 6" chain link
  • High School diplomas
  • Stores that don't end in "mart"
  • Dancing

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Crib Notes

Well we now own a crib and a changing table, thanks to my sister Tricia. She doesn't need it now that her youngest, Zachary has a "big boy bed". Gregg spent a lot of time cleaning out the garage this weekend, and we took two loads of stuff to the Goodwill store on Sunday. That makes room to store the crib. We don't plan on leaving it in storage though. We're going to seriously start transforming the office into the baby's room, and once we get the floor converted to laminate and the walls painted we plan on setting it up in there. We'll stick with some bare bones decorations for right now since we don't know the sex of the baby as I described in this post. Some people at our agency said that's a bad idea because an empty crib is a constant reminder that you don't have a baby, but we disagree. We tend to look at it more of a concrete sign that we will have a baby, and for a couple of guys that just a few years ago never thought that was possible, that's encouraging!

Friday, September 5, 2008

Follow Me!

I just added the new "Follower" feature to Those Two Daddies. If you like the blog sign up! What a great way to meet people.

Side Note: Maybe I'm weird, but do you ever look at a word and think, "Hmmm, what a funny word"? OK maybe not. But when I look at "FOLLOW" I think that! (I know how stupid...)

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

One GIANT Step Closer!

Today was a very important day for us! Earlier today while I wrote my first blog entry, there was no way I could have known that there was an envelope waiting at home in the mailbox. A letter from the Maricopa County Court. Gregg got home first and got the mail. He has to I can never remember which box is ours. (Well I never get it.) Gregg likes to pretend big things aren't a big deal at all. So he opened it and just put it on the fridge. When I got home I went to put our Powerball ticket on the fridge and saw the letter. The letter that said,

"Blah blah blah Congratulations your adoption home study has been approved blah blah blah"

Approved! Our homestudy is approved. A very big hurdle overcome! Gregg was of course hiding, because he knew I'd want to celebrate. I found him in the office--excuse me, the baby's room, waiting for me. I can't tell you how happy we are. Now since I've been blogging for weeks about how we need to finish our birth mother letter...well I guess we have a weekend project! Tomorrow I'll call Lane at the IAC and get some more direction on it. We will be on the books within the next few weeks. Available to be picked by a birth mother! The home study was the thing I was afraid of the most. Now that it's done, I know, I KNOW we will be daddies. But for now...

We're approved!

Whole New World?

Well it's been a little while since the last entry...not sure why. Anyway, some of you have asked what's going on, and the answer is...Nothing! There is still no update from the court, so we're in a holding pattern (still). But, I guess I can't say we've been doing nothing, cause we kind of have. For a while, Gregg's been on this website called http://www.meetgaycouples.com/. It's a site for gay couples to network and meet up with other couples for socializing (uh, no, not like Manhunt--other social activities!). I've been kind of embarrassed because the masthead on their homepage has a collage of member photos, and our pic is one of them. Anyway, he's made a few friends and they've emailed a few times. On our page it says we're adopting, so we got a message from a couple in Paradise Valley, Jim and Chuck. They have four kids, and they were having a dinner party with some friends and some other people from the gay couples site so they asked us to come. Those of you who know me won't believe me, but I'm a little shy when I'm around a lot of people I don't know so I was a little hesitant, but I'm glad we went. We had a great time. Jim and Chuck are very friendly and so are their friends. Two of the other couples that were there had kids as well. We've never been around gay families before. (I know, huh?) Really, we don't have any gay friends with kids. I never really gave much thought to that, but I guess it's strange.

Anyway, my point. I'm not sure how I expected kids with two dads to act, but I think I expected something other then what I saw, which is: nothing. Meaning, nothing I wouldn't have seen at my mother's house when all the kids are over. Kids running and playing, the boys into video games and the girls dressing the youngest girl as a princess. (She was so cute...a little girl just over a year, mixed race, whose fathers were a white guy and a black guy--just like the family we're hoping for! We talked a lot with them.) I guess to be at a party with gay men and kids is a different atmosphere to me, but one I liked. Everyone was so supportive of us and our adoption plan. One of the couples had a son who was turning 18 the following weekend, and invited us to his party as well.

That party was a real eye opener for us. There were 15-20 couples there and we were the only ones without kids. The only ones! The little buggers were running all around, the guys all talking about starting school, doctor visits, who won't eat what, just all stuff kids do. Sure it sounds like any other gathering, but that's the whole point--they're just normal families that happen to have two fathers. I found myself asking, Where did all these people come from? I had no idea there were so many gay dads in Phoenix. Well duh. They're not out at Charlies or Amsterdam on the weekends boozing it up with Junior; they're home reading stories and making dinner. They don't have a lot of visibility in the community.

The kids were all well adjusted, smart, and friendly. A few just started high school and were talking about being on the football team. (Kyler, high school kid: "You know how there's a full back and a half back on the team?" Will, adult gay male: "Um, no?"...LOL) Two 8 year olds were playing piano, and they were all jumping in the pool. We met a lot of new friends, and saw how many ways there are to create families. Some used surrogacy. Some open adoption. Some foster care and then adopted. One couple shared custody of their daughter with her two moms. On and on. None of them had any hang ups about the two dads situation. They were just families. Plus, they all meet up a lot, so the kids will always know they aren't the only ones with same sex parents. A built in support group. Not that they looked like they needed support.

We even met a couple who lives a few blocks away from us. They just dropped their son at ASU to start his freshman year, and have an 8 year old girl as well. We've made a lot of new friends, and I can't wait to get together with them again. As Jim said, "Don't worry, it will all work out fine. Remember, gay men have to go out of their way to become parents. It's not something that would be part of their world otherwise. That's one reason we cherish our kids so much". Yeah. I definitely see that. There was a lot of love in those parents eyes. *Sigh*

Friday, August 22, 2008

Happy Family Day Chase!

Today is Family Day for Chase. It was one year ago that Chase came to live with us from a couple who didn't understand him or know how to train or teach him. Chase was mildly abused by these people, and luckily they gave him up before they did any real damage. It took a bit to teach him the rules of behavior, but with love, patience, and an understanding of who the real pack leaders are, Chase is a pretty good guy. Plus, Chase and Ripley are more bonded together as brothers then any dogs I've seen.

The Boys can be a good example of adoption to the baby. Two brothers, from different parents, that came to live with us and became a family. The baby will have this example and feel some camaraderie even if they are dogs and not humans. The Boys can teach Finster that adoption is a good, normal, positive thing.

Now, Family Day. Once we do finally adopt, it will take about six months before the court will finalize the adoption. Gregg and I have decided that we will celebrate the anniversary of that date, when it finally comes, as Family Day--the day we legally become a family. The baby will know he or she is adopted, and will have a special day to celebrate our family union. It will be a holiday no one in the family has but us. Kind of neat I think!

Happy Family Day Chase!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

So, can they all fit in one closet...?

This just in...

NEW YORK — There won't be much "livin' la vida loca" for Ricky Martin these days _ he's now the father of twin boys. The Latin superstar had the children via a surrogate mother, and the babies were born a few weeks ago, according to a statement from his representatives.
"The children, delivered via gestational surrogacy, are healthy and already under Ricky's full-time care," said the statement. "Ricky is elated to begin this new chapter in his life as a parent and will be spending the remainder of the year out of the public spotlight in order to spend time with his children."
A representative said there was no further information on the details of the children's birth.

Gee, see how easy it is for straight people?

Papa & Daddy to the Rescue

Strangely, there is a question we've been pondering that no one has asked us yet. It's one of the first things we thought of when we started Project Baby. With two dads in the house, who comes running when Finster yells "Daddy"? Yeah never thought of that did ya? At first I'm sure we'd trip over each other to see who gets there first. After a bit when you realize it probably means dirty diaper or some other disgusting situation, I guess we'd stare at each other to see who blinks first. So we needed a solution to this problem. Gregg suggested we make Finster call us Mr. Garland and Mr. Heptig. No. Daddy and Cracka? Um, no. How about All Knowing Master and Whitey? Vetoed.

We started searching around to see what other dads did to fix this. Some were Dad and Daddy. Too confusing. Some used a word from the language of their background. Der Pater and Shaka Zulu? No, too difficult. We decided on Papa and Daddy. Gregg's had a nickname of Papa to a few close friends for a long time, and well, I just like Daddy. So Papa and Daddy it is. We're trying to get The Boys to respect this, but typical Labs, they just respond to who has more food.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Adopt-o-bama

Note to self: This is not a political site, this is not a political site, this is not a political site...

Or is it? I guess the test would be to throw out the main subject of this blog to the political winds and see if anyone cared:

A journey of two men (and two Labrador retrievers) in their quest to make their family whole by adopting a baby.

Hmm. Yes, I think we might get some blow back on that one from a certain political faction. I had mentioned a few posts back John McCain's views on homo adoption. He's against it. In the spirit of fairness, what are Senator Barack Obama's thoughts on allowing gay couples to adopt?

We have to do more to support and strengthen LGBT families. Because equality in relationship, family, and adoption rights is not some abstract principle; it's about whether millions of LGBT Americans can finally live lives marked by dignity and freedom. That’s why we have to repeal laws like the Defense of Marriage Act. That’s why we have to eliminate discrimination against LGBT families. And that’s why we have to extend equal treatment in our family and adoption laws.

I’ll be a president that stands up for American families – all of them.

Once again, this is (of course) not a political blog. But there comes a time when you have to ask yourself, who is looking out for my family? Who really stands for family values? Who knows that there are real people, real kids, real families that are impacted by these political decisions? It's great to have beliefs one way or another. But you are affecting real lives. I think we know the answers to these questions.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Let's just go bowling

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Nothing's happening worthy of reporting. The court as our home study in hand. I did find out that they have to make a decision by November 9th. November! Well glad they're not in any big rush. To take our minds off things, we've been trying to ignore the adoption. We've been getting back into bowling, and watching some Olympics. (What genius at Nike came up with those coverall suits for the swimmers? What happened to Speedos? Kill joys.)

So let's all just keep waiting...Tick Tock...

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Darkest Before the Dawn?

OK, the title of this post is a little dramatic. Maybe even over the top. But hey, I'm gay, I can be dramatic if I want to! But I have a reason. I've really not discussed the giant pot hole on the road to adoption that we could possibly hit. As you know, we are still waiting for our home study to be approved by the court here in Arizona. But I haven't addressed what happens if the home study is not approved. Well what if? If the judge denies our petition to adopt, we'll have to wait until next year and then start all over again. That's an entire year wasted. I guess if we were in our twenties I wouldn't care so much, but yesterday I turned 41 and Gregg is 42. Now being vain, gay, and well, gay, I have to say we of course look fabulous. However, I've been hoping to be daddies before 2010. Also, I just can't wait another whole year. Don't forget, once the home study is approved that just means we can start waiting to get contacted by a potential birth mother. So you could be looking at over a year or longer.

Today I called our Arizona social worker Windsor to see what was going on with the home study report. She said she's already turned it in to the court. However, two hitches. One, we've been assigned a new judge who Windsor knows nothing about. She was very familiar with the last one, but has no history with this one. So we have nothing to judge the judge with. (Is that a dangling participle, ending a sentence with "with"? I have no idea. Interesting though huh? OK not really.) So that starts stuff running through my mind. The biggest thing is, what if he's a Christian? If he is, we could be screwed. Funny how through this entire process the thing that I'm most worried about is what if someone we need along the way, someone who could either move this process along or stop it in its tracks, is a Christian thinking they are doing God's work and keeping a child out of the hands of heathens. If you're reading this and you're not gay, I'm sure you think this is a stretch. Well let me tell you it isn't. A judge can approve or deny a home study for any reason and that's final. There is nothing in Arizona law that says a gay person can't adopt a child, but the judge doesn't need a reason. Personal prejudice can be an unspoken reason to deny a home study as long as they don't say it is. (Another dangler? Dunno.) On this new judge we don't have a clue.

Second worry is that out of the five references we've asked friends and family to complete, only three have come back. Windsor says this is the only thing she's got as a concern (she's not worried about the judge thing, but then she isn't gay and has not seen the unspoken bigotry I have). I'm not going to say who didn't respond to our requests, but I will say I'm a little disappointed. We picked the five we thought would be the best ones. This is the most important thing we've ever asked friends/family to do and two of them blew it off. Maybe not, maybe not, I don't know. But I guess I expected a little more. Anyway, Windsor said we could just give her phone numbers and she could do interviews that way. So we'll inform those people and I guess do that. I've started thinking of backup references just in case.

So, your thoughts? Am I being totally gay about this, or do you think I should be worried? Gregg is telling me to just relax, everything is fine, but that's what boyfriends are supposed to do. What do you think? And feel free to tell me I'm being a fag about it if you think it fits, cause that will probably make me feel better. Just tell me the truth!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Dry Run

Sunday August 3rd was our nephew Noah's third birthday. We celebrated it at my parents house. It was a fun day. As we were getting ready to leave, his brother Ethan started grabbing onto my leg and saying "I want to go home with you Uncle Bobby!". Now Ethan is five, and a really great kid. He loves his Uncle Bobby and Uncle Gregg. He's a little, shall we say, "gun shy" about staying somewhere away from his parents. He's also a little afraid of dogs, especially big ones like The Boys. The Boys love kids, and would never hurt them, but they do get a little excited when guests come over. If you're five, short, and excitable, they'll love you to death. Loving you to death means knocking you down and licking your face and trust me, Labrador saliva is not very tasty. Since getting licked in the face is how I usually wake up in the morning, I'm kind of a slobber connoisseur. Anyway, Ethan promised not to change his mind in the middle of the night, and not to be afraid of the dogs. To his credit, he kept both promises.

The visit went really well. Gregg and Ethan played an online game, something about penguins (no, not Tango again!) and then we watched some Boomerang. If you don't know, Boomerang is a channel from Cartoon Network, and it plays all the old cartoons we watched as kids, like Space Ghost and Johnny Quest. Ethan was fascinated by cartoons he never heard of before. He was a little offended that Thundar the Barbarian ripped off the light saber and called it a "sun sword" but hey, no one said they were original. We let him sleep in the other room, and I told him some bedtime stories before we both fell asleep in there.

Next morning, at 7am, the first words out of his mouth were "What game should we play first?". I was about to get a lesson in five year old time management. It seems you go from one game to another, without stopping, until it's time to go to bed. So we played Chutes and Ladders, helicopter, threw parachute guys off the second floor balcony, XBox, and this candy grabber game all before ten o' clock. We took a quick time out for breakfast (Trix) and to feed the animals. Then it was off to the park to go on every swing and climby thing they had, and then back home to take The Boys out for some morning tennis ball playing. Did I mention a spin with the remote control car? All while talking non stop. We would have gone in the pool, but now it was time to go to Dave and Busters at Tempe Marketplace.

D & B's was pretty fun. We played a lot of games, won a lot of tickets, got some crappy prizes, and had lunch. I guess I knew we did a good job because Ethan didn't want to go home. I was out of energy so yes, it was time to go home! Thank goodness we're getting an infant. They don't start talking as soon as they're born right?

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Website Feedback; With Poll

OK we finally have something to do. Here are some comments from our IAC counselor regarding the greggandbobby website, http://www.greggandbobby.com/:

1. I like the main picture. I'd like to see a 4x6 original before we decide. Do you have any others for us to choose from?
2. I checked out the website. It is very nice. Just a few suggestions:
= I might reduce the size of the photos so that each page does not need to be scrolled down to see. Less scrolling has more visual impact with less effort.
= the large pictures are also taking some time to load and we have a lot of memory on our computers. Again, smaller pics might load faster, especially on a slower computer.
= I would replace the pic of Gregg's birthday party on the main page with something else as this pic just duplicates the main shot. Perhaps a picture with Bobby's nephew (African-American) (like the marathon shot in another section).
= Our Story, I would move the pic of the house (and reduce the size) to the bottom of the page and move the others up. They are more important pictures than the house pic.
That's about it. Nothing I've mentioned is crucial. Just suggestions to enhance what is already a very nice website.

OK so I have to say that I agree with just about all of this. I've actually stressed a bit that our site is a little too "white". By that I mean I think we need to showcase both sides of our family a little more equally. We just couldn't find any other real good pictures with Gregg's side. We'll have to work on that.

I'd like some more input on the site, so I'm hoping some of you can comment on it below. Let me know if there's something you particularly like or think should be changed. Do you agree with Lane's comments above? What about the pics? I want to hear any suggestions you may have, so please comment away!

(Actually, if you have comments about Those Two Daddies as well, I'd love to hear that too!)

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Firetrucks and Birthday Cake

Today was a nice day. Two of my sister Suzanne's kids, Timmy and Christina, have birthdays that are two weeks apart, so they always combine the two into a summer party. They do it up nice for the kids and all the cousins. This year my brother in law managed to get a fire truck parked in his driveway. The kids had a blast on it, climbing around on it, blowing the siren (man that sucker is LOUD!), and honking the horn. The truck was full of water, so my brother Dennis and brother in law Keith manned the hoses, while some of the kids climbed on top of it and worked the water spout. The kids all had fun with the "water war" and everyone and everything was soaked! They had a great time at the party. Not sure about G, but I know I feel a little tinge of loneliness at kid events lately. I can't wait for our little one to be here to join in the reindeer games. Arrh this takes soooo long! Well at least our adoption coordinator Lane from the IAC is back from vacation. He's going to look over our website next week and let us know what he thinks. We've had it up a while and I keep tweaking it because I wanted it to be perfect before sending it out to him. With any luck this damn home study from our Arizona adoption agency will get approved soon and we can finally get in the book. My birthday is coming up in two weeks and I can't think of a better gift then that!

Sadly, there were no actual firemen at the party...sigh.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Cheering Myself Up -- With Cool Baby Gadgets

I'm so bummed today. Last night I called our local Arizona Adoption Agency, the one that is doing our home study. Our last visit was on June 6th, and so I called so see if they've heard anything back from the court. Well, they haven't even sent it to the court yet! Argh. Windsor wasn't there so I didn't' get to speak to her directly, but man, how long can this take? The court gave a deadline for everything to be submitted by September, so technically, it could be another six months before this is approved and we're finally on the books. It's just all so depressing.

To cheer myself up, I've created a list of Must Have Items for our new baby:
(Click on the names for more info on these wonderful products!)

The Baby Mop

What a great idea! We just had laminate flooring put into the den, and I hate cleaning it. I'm thinking baby spit dribbles out the mouth and removes spots as Finster crawls along. Turn him over, use an upholstery vacuum attachment on his belly, and send him on his way again. If the floor is really dirty we'll get him hopped up on caffeine first. With two dogs that shed a lot, this is better then a Roomba.

The Daddle

OK on second thought this one maybe isn't such a good idea. It will only come out when Grandpa or Uncle Dennis comes over to visit. There's actually something kind of creepy about this thing, and I think teaching Finster the best way to get what he wants is to give his daddies a good kick in the ribs might be a bad idea. Strapping a saddle to a grown man's back is too kinky for a toddler if you ask me. Head over to Rik's blog for that stuff. (Note to Finster: The safe word is "Daa Daa".)

Po-Knee

What a cute name. Saves your kid from the brain trauma the rest of us suffered while bouncing on someones shins. Still you'd look incredibly stupid using it.

The Snot Sucker

I think this one requires some practice. First, I'm sure Finster will enjoy having a plastic tube shoved up it's nose. Second, get too enthusiastic about clearing his sinus passages and you'll need some fresh mint mouthwash. Plus, what happens if you sneeze while using it. I suppose Finster will end up looking like one of the Coneheads from Saturday Night Live. But nothing's too good for our baby, so I'll let Gregg use it.

Baby Tattoos

We know Finster might get teased or bullied cause it has two dads, but if we cover its body with Baby Tattoos the other kids in pre-school will know our kid is a hardcore bad ass. They'll think twice about teasing Finster cause they'll know with all those tattoos they'll end up being the bitch. Teach him to carve a shiv out of a lego, he'll rule the playground.

Zacky Infant Pillow

What better way to know when Finster wakes up then to have a pair of disembodied hands scare the living shit out of it? Screams of terror can be heard all over the house, so we'll be alerted when Finster needs us. So what if it instills a fear of intimacy or watching the Addams Family, we'll be there for Finster when he shrieks.

Metallica Lullabies

This would be Gregg's choice. I'd rather hunt around for Cher Lullabies but oh well. I guess any baby raised by an interracial gay couple might as well be prepared for meeting Satan in the afterlife, so this will be a good introduction.

Bucktooth Pacifier

Yeah, we're totally getting this. Keep us up till all hours of the night? Poopy diaper changes for years? Lugging around tons of crap wherever we go? Sure we want to do that, but damn, doesn't this help to make it a little easier? Why wait to ruin his life when he's a teenager when we can start now. Life lesson #1: Sometimes Finster, people aren't laughing with you.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

For Your Consideration

Mr. McCain, who with his wife, Cindy, has an adopted daughter, said flatly that he opposed allowing gay couples to adopt. “I think that we’ve proven that both parents are important in the success of a family so, no, I don’t believe in gay adoption,” he said.

--NY Times, July 13, 2008

Just an observation, no more, no less.