Monday, August 29, 2011


Well?  Well things are rolling along here with Project Baby, the Sequel.  We were notified that our home study has been approved by the court, which means for the next 18 months we are legally able to adopt a child.  We've finished our medical clearances, and sent the first draft of our birth mother letter to the agency for approval and guidance.  We still have to watch a video and take an exam that will teach us how to parent in an interracial family in case our second child is not the same race as one of us.  Yeah, I know.  The way I figure it, I have an interracial parent/child relationship, but Gregg doesn't, so he should have to watch the video alone while I head to a Labor Day BBQ or something.  It's a hoop.  We'll jump through it.

We won't be done with preliminary gigantic monthly payments to the adoption agency until November so technically nothing can happen until after that.  Right now we're gathering pictures for our letter, and a friend of ours who is a photographer is coming over in two weeks to do a photo shoot with us for our main picture.  If you've been with me a while you'll remember what our last letter looked like.  This one has to be four pages instead of two and frankly will look a little nicer I think.  Last time we matched off of our letter in three weeks of being in circulation, so we want to make sure this one hits the mark as well.

It's funny; we've been performing the steps necessary to reach our goal of having a baby for some months now, but it's only since our home study has been approved that I have those butterflies banging away in my stomach telling me a baby could join our family as soon as the beginning of the year.  Of course it could take a lot longer, but we've crossed a threshold that has started those old feelings creeping up on me again.  We have a ways to go and a forest of red tape to cut through, but we're definitely on the way again...

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Twin Elephants of the Apocalypse

Our previous inflatable pool met it's demise earlier this summer when it was slashed by either a desert tortoise or a Labrador retriever.  No one's copping to it.

Prime suspects

Today we got a new one, complete with elephant water slide and trunk sprinkler. 

Rickety and Wobbly, your fun summer pals!

Now as everyone knows, real fun always has an element of danger, like riding in the very front of the roller coaster or Christmas fishing with Scott Peterson.  The Chinese must have had that in mind when they came up with the Spray N' Splash Elephant Slide.  It looked like fun on the box, with the inflatable elephant slide that sprays water from the trunk.  I figured since it's a water toy, most of the toxic lead finish the Chinese use to shine it up will probably wash off after a few uses.  Summer toddler fun!

Even using our air compressor, this thing took about half an hour or more to blow up.  I made sure to fill it extra firm so it wouldn't squish down with the 35 pounds of toddler that would soon be jumping on it.  My original plan was to fill it, make lunch, then go swimming.  That ended when I suggested this to Sabrina, who responded with "No Daddy, I go down a slide".  No manner of cajoling was going to change her mind.  Knowing how to pick my battles, I decided we could eat lunch after swimming.  Unbeknownst to me, children are always hungrier after taking their lives in their grubby little hands.

Now this slide has two loops on it where you tie it down to the bottom of the pool to keep it from floating away.  To be fair, the instructions call that point out.  What they don't point out is that the slide is as unstable as Michelle Bachman at a gay Pride parade.  It turned out to be almost impossible for Sabrina to climb without my assistance.  Even with all the air I pumped into it, the sides are useless for holding on to and keeping steady.  One wrong turn and it would come tumbling down, even with the two inches of safety string tied tight.  Usually it's the kid on the slide that holds her breath before hitting the water; in this case it was me.


Works as designed.

When it did work without killing her, it was fun.  But this required lots of lifting and helping on the side of the father.  So much for relaxing in the chair.

And go...

The sprinkler part did work well.


Oh and I do apologize for the misleading title of this post.  By now you know I mean the pool by Twin Elephants of the Apocalypse.  Not these two:

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Potty Mouth

Admit're never happier than after taking a big, satisfying dump.  Don't believe me?  Just look at the smile on that over eager toilet.  He's as happy to see you poop as you are.  He even sings about it after you're finished.

Poop on me...

Sabrina's doing well on the potty, using it both home and at daycare about 75% of the time.  And when she does use it, you'd think she hit the lottery.  Squeals of "I did pee-pee!" with a big smile on her face as the potty sings along with glee, followed by telling anyone who'll listen.  And poop, well that's an event in itself.  Little kids and old people sure love to tell you about their pooping.  Sometimes we have to sit there awhile before anything comes out.  We know in advance it will be a wait because Sabrina will tell us "Papa, pee pee is stuck".  But that's OK, that's when we break out our copies of Elmo's Potty Tales and Men's Health and just wait it out.  Hey, you can even have a contest to see who poops first if you want.  There were a few times when it dragged out forever.  And yes, I admit it, I have asked her to please shit or get off the pot.  Nicely of course.  But I digress...

Since I'm taking some time off next week, I might try to see if we can get through an entire day of successfully using the potty and not wetting pants.  Perhaps a bribe of wearing big girl underwear.  Watching TV and using crayons are the danger zones, because if she gets too involved in either activity, well potty be damned.  I guess before we had DVR's and the ability to pause live TV that was an understandable, if not practical, choice.  But unless you're a toddler,  Betty White, or some crazy astronaut lady with a stalker complex, wearing diapers and peeing when you're distracted isn't really feasible. 

I think kids need to be ready for potty training.  We tried on and off since she turned two, but she only really started to get into it in the last few weeks. We're pretty sure she'll be reliable quickly because once her stubbornness kicks in there is no stopping her.  I just hope once that happens she'll calm down about it.  I don't see too many executives running around the office screaming "I did poops!  I did poops!".  Well that one guy from shipping...

Happy to see you, or just dropped a deuce?