BS of America

Happy Memorial Day Weekend everyone!  Hope you're enjoying the great weather (if you have it) and starting off your summer right.

"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member"...Groucho Marx

While a lot of America is busy fawning over the Boy Scouts for repealing their ban on gay kids who want to join, I'm not impressed.  I'm glad the kids are welcome now, don't get me wrong.  Kicking out a teenager because for having the courage to admit who he is to himself and others isn't in line with the Boy Scout credo.  He shouldn't be kicked out, he should get a merit badge for bravery, honor, and truthfulness. Since Bear, Wolf, and Bobcat are already taken maybe it could be a Bee.

Imagine sewing this on your chest.

 

No, the problem I have is with still banning adults as Scout Leaders. The underlying truth around the debate isn't about being "morally straight" or living your life according to Boy Scout rules, it's about molesting children.  That's the real reason gay men are not welcome, because of the fear that they will sexually molest the kids.  It's like we all have merit badges in pedophilia.  The truth is, the majority of child predators are not gay men.  Are some of them gay?  Absolutely.  But abusing children, boy or girl, is not "gay".  In fact, most abusers are straight in every other aspect of their lives.  The Boy Scouts have a history of covering up their molestation scandals going back over fifty years, and this has been the subject of a lawsuit or two.  It's no surprise that the majority of Boy Scout groups are sponsored by religious organizations who have threatened to pull their support if gays are allowed to join.

 

Which would be a shame after all the work they put

into their ultra straight image

 

While it's true I have a daughter and not a son, how do you let your kid join the scouts when you can't participate as well?  I guess you have to explain that while you've spent all your time as a parent teaching your child about the value of families and that discrimination against anyone is wrong you then have to figure out how to tell him why you can't be a Cub Scout leader.  That will be a fun conversation he should write down so he can reliably repeat it to his therapist later in life.

 

Gays don't want to change the Boy Scouts any more then they want to change the Church when it comes to getting married.  In fact gay men have a lot in common with the Boy Scouts already.  For instance, the colored hankies...

 

Bruce Springsteen, eat your heart out.

 

Camping out in the woods...

 

Lions and tigers and bears...Oh My!

 



And of course our love of the flag...

 

And of smiling

 

I was a Cub Scout back in the day.  I don't remember a lot of what we did; I know we made a lot of candles.  We kept dipping strings in pots of melted wax.  It took forever to make one candle.  No wonder the Scentsy people charge so much.  I guess it prepared us for something.  I wasn't really that into it and I stopped after two years.  That was when they said they were changing our name from Cub Scout to Webelo, and I felt it was just too ironic to stay.

 

  

Back of the Future

"Daddy, why are you putting machines in our house?"
"I'm not putting machines in our house; this is the pump for your fish tank's filter and I'm cleaning it.".
"What does it do?"
"It cleans your fish tank."
"And does it protect us in case robots come?"
"Uh, yes, it cleans fish tanks and protects us from robots."
"OK great job Daddy!"

Instead of mundane tasks like cleaning fish tanks and preparing for the coming robot invasion, I should be spending this week helping my husband recover from his third back surgery in a dozen years.  The first two were related to disc herniation; this one will be for spinal stenosis.  Gregg has suffered from chronic back pain for years, and as much as he doesn't want to have this procedure done, it's really the only option left.  The surgery was originally scheduled for this past Friday, but was cancelled last minute due to blood pressure issues.  It will occur in the next two to three weeks as long as all goes well.  As much as we both wanted to get it over with, there are a few events that are happening this month Gregg really wanted to attend and now he'll get to do so. 

The first was Sabrina's "graduation" from Starfish to Seal at Swimming School.  She's really doing great there, and that makes us feel good.  As I wrote in one post a while back, Arizona has a terrible record for child drownings, and good swimming skills can be a life saver.

The second was a coming home party some friends hosting for the adoption of their second child.  She's a beautiful little girl, and we're so happy to see our friends complete their family.  Hopefully, we won't be far behind.  While Sabrina is used to swimming with us or her grandparents, this was the first time she was allowed to be in the pool by herself.  It was great to be able to sit there and watch her jump in and swim with her friend Kaitlyn, also four, and see them both put their skills to the test.  (Admission: I did take my phone out of my pocket just in case I needed to jump in.  I knew I wouldn't have to, but...)

So instead of a weekend of recovery, it was one of family and fun.  And not, thankfully, ruined by an invading army of robots.

Enjoying a robot free afternoon

Scamination

When it comes to our adoption website, we get many contacts but we get few contacts.  What I mean by that is there are three types of emails we've been getting: Legitimate contacts by women thinking of adoption for their unborn children, Scams where people are just wanting money, and scams from people who have nothing better to do then, well, scam.

We got this message from a woman named "Candy Cane":

hello there i am a young mother who has found that i can no longer take care of my baby girl and need help to find her a good home the only thing is she is 11 months old if you think you can help and if you would like maybe we can talk about me giving you a new baby as well email me back thank you and god bless
 

We don't even bother to respond to these types of messages anymore.  At first glance the first part doesn't seem so bad, until you get to the end and see that not only can she make your dream of being a parent come true right now with no waiting, but don't put that checkbook away there's more!  We can talk about another new baby as well.  Now I don't know if she just wants money or just to get people's hopes up, but we've seen this email about 20 times between both adoptions.  Think the "Nigerian Lottery" scam is annoying in your inbox?  We've gotten emails from Nigeria where they just change the words "lottery winnings" to "newborn baby".  We passed on helping two sets of orphaned twins get out of Russia with "little to no paperwork or hassle". 

We have spoken to a few people we think are legit; they didn't work out.  We are speaking to someone now, but it doesn't seem like it's really going anywhere.  That's OK.  When it happens it will happen.  If it doesn't, well we'll get through that as well.

Scammers are sometimes pretty good at what they do, and I've heard stories of people getting strung out by them for weeks or months.  In one case I know of they actually met and only found out later the woman was not even pregnant.  You have to be able to keep your guard up, and your heart locked away.

I think, just as the last time, when we connect with someone we'll know it's right somehow.  We'll know because we'll build a relationship, foster a committment, and if all goes right, expand our family and hers.  And we won't need to go to Nigeria or Russia. 

Just in case Russia is an option

Can You Hear Me Now?

Hello?  Is this thing on?

A little dusty in here.  It's been a while since I've posted.  I haven't been in much of a sharing mood I guess.  Some of you have emailed to encourage me to start back up again and I think I may be ready now.  I can't just sit down and write a post to write a post; I have to want to share that energy and use Blogger as an outlet to do that.  And I have to feel that need.  Admittedly I have what's known in medical terms as "a big mouth" so to keep it closed for almost a year is definitely an anomaly for me.  But you can all take your lives off "hold" now, I'm back to fill your heads with much needed knowledge.

Problem is, when you've been out for almost a year, how do you start back up again?  No one wants to read a post that goes on forever to catch up on events.  I toyed with posting "First some stuff happened, followed by some events, and also more stuff" but that seemed a little brief.  Being from Long Island and raised on Billy Joel, I asked myself, "WWBJD?".  I decided crashing my car into a light post wasn't a good idea, so I went with the second option of compressing the last year into verse.  So here are the topics I would have blogged about if I felt like blogging all of the last year.

If you want to avoid an ear worm, stop reading now!  Otherwise, the official musical accompaniment to this entry is Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire". Don't say I didn't warn you.

Home study is done again,

Paperwork and checks are in,

Web site’s new,

Pictures too,

Waitin’s what we hafta do.

California’s ocean blue,

Visit Mom and sisters too,

Adoptive Dads,

Birth family’s glad

Best reunion that we’ve had!

Tight tee shirts in hurricanes,

Vanderbuilt’s mom’s maiden name

Cooper’s gay,

What the hey,

Who didn’t know it anyway?

Growing up in little bites,

You can tell by what she likes,

Elmo’s out,

Mickey’s in,

Jake and pirate brethren.

Court fights with Obamacare,

Tea Party shouts “Hey not fair”,

But it’s a sin,

When Doc’s missin’

In the greatest land that’s ever been.

15 years for B and G,

How, well that’s a mystery,

I love you babe,

Perhaps someday,

We’ll do it in a legal way.

  

Waiting can be kinda rough,

Contacts have been pretty tough,

Adoption scams,

Breaking plans,

Gritting teeth and wringing hands.

Came home sad and hugged the kid,

Awful what a mad man did,

Kiss her face,

Keep her safe,

Make the world a better place.

Santa really big this year,

Filling us with Christmas cheer,

Had a blast,

But it will pass,

How long will the magic last?

Now the girl is turning four,

Not a baby anymore,

Phonics rules,

Learning tools,

Doing great in swimming school.

A year and we are waiting still,

Contacts almost down to nil,

It’s taking long,

We go on,

New baby hurry come along.

There.  You're all caught up now.



Tar Heeled

I'd like to take this opportunity to congratulate the great state of North Carolina for narrowly preventing itself from being wiped off the map in a fit of biblical justice by today voting to ban same sex marriage.  By amending their constitution to define marriage as "one man one woman" they have successfully avoided God's wrath.  Hurricane season is due to start in a few months and would have been a convenient excuse for a good Ol' Testament ass whoopin'.  “Marriage remains an essential social institution which unites men and women to provide for the reproduction of the human race and to provide mothers and fathers for children," Peter Sprigg of the Family Research Council smirked said.  Noting that children are never born to unmarried partners and without marriage they wouldn't have mothers or fathers, North Carolina voters have ensured the survival of the Human Race.

FRC Spokesmen Peter Sprigg (l) and Tony Perkins (r).

North Carolina has always followed biblical principles since being admitted to the Union in 1789 and settling into present day 1952.  Building a solid foundation using bible approved slave labor, the state is home to many historic sites such as Kitty Hawk where the Wright brothers made the first airplane flight.  They were proud of North Carolina right up until its citizens burned them as witches.  And who can forget their brave struggle for liberty and free labor in the War of Northern Aggression?

Raleigh, circa 1820.

This new amendment has far reaching effects.  By making marriage the only legal relationship qualifier in the state, it strips domestic partnerships from gay and straight couples alike.  Melissa and Libby are two moms in a domestic partnership with a 5 year old daughter.  The girl is covered under Libby's health insurance, but since she can not legally adopt her and that partnership is now void, that child may no longer be covered.  Many other families ("families" as the FRC calls them, always using scary quotes) will now be in a similar bind.  Besides the fact that current adoption laws in many states prevent a significant number of children from finding loving homes, marriage inequality ensures they are not adequately protected in numerous ways.  (I'll post about our recent failed second adoption soon.  I've been quiet about it but I'm ready now.)  But the main thing is discrimination apparently keeps Jesus happy.  As Pat Robertson rightly pointed out to the city of Orlando, uppity homosexuals mocking God by going to Disney World during Gay Pride is flirting with disaster:

"I would warn Orlando that you're right in the way of some serious hurricanes, and I don't think I'd be waving those flags in God's face if I were you, This is not a message of hate -- this is a message of redemption. But a condition like this will bring about the destruction of your nation. It'll bring about terrorist bombs; it'll bring earthquakes, tornadoes, and possibly a meteor."

Imagine a place where men prance through the streets in tights and people in outlandish costumes flaunt garish makeup.  And that's Disney before the gays even get there!  If a city can be destroyed by one day of Gay Pride, think of what would happen if the gays got married!

Notorious gay marrying dinosaurs meet their doom.

Now, sidestepping the fact that God is a single father who runs a successful publishing company (#1 best seller of all time whoot whoot!), he still makes time to get into politics.  And that's why we love America, because even though we have a constitution that never mentions marriage or gays at all, we always have the bible to fill in the gaps.  Tonight North Carolina makes us proud to live in a country where all men are created equal (wink wink) and the ancient Israelites would be happy to call home.

Dyke free since 2012!

*If I didn't write this post, I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.  Writing is a good outlet for anger, and I'm so stinking mad right now I had to have a release.  Yeah, it's a bit snarky.  All I know is we have a little girl who deserves to be as protected by her government as the kids next door, and right now she isn't.  We may both be her legal parents, but our family falls short legally in too many other ways to make us comfortable.

Oh Gurl...

Sean Harris, Sr. Pastor of Berean Baptist Church in Fayetteville, N.C.:

"So your little son starts to act a little girlish when he is four years old and instead of squashing that like a cockroach and saying, 'Man up, son, get that dress off you and get outside and dig a ditch, because that is what boys do,' you get out the camera and you start taking pictures of Johnny acting like a female and then you upload it to YouTube and everybody laughs about it and the next thing you know, this dude, this kid is acting out childhood fantasies that should have been squashed.

Dads, the second you see your son dropping the limp wrist, you walk over there and crack that wrist. Man up. Give him a good punch. Ok? You are not going to act like that. You were made by God to be a male and you are going to be a male. And when your daughter starts acting too butch, you reign [sic] her in. And you say, 'Oh, no, sweetheart. You can play sports. Play them to the glory of God. But sometimes you are going to act like a girl and walk like a girl and talk like a girl and smell like a girl and that means you are going to be beautiful. You are going to be attractive. You are going to dress yourself up.'"

Well he has a point about one thing.  If you let your son run around in a dress as a child, there's no telling what kind of horrible future may be in store for him.


Work the runway sweetie...

 

The Day We Met You

As parents, we all have fond memories of the day our children were born.  But many adoptive parents have a second memory to cherish--the day they met their children.  Adoptive families are created in many ways, but for us and for the community of friends we have, open agency adoption was the method we used.  We were chosen to be Sabrina's parents by her birth mother K. about 6 weeks before she was born.  As we created our plan for her birth and contact beyond, K. offered to bring us into the delivery room with her to experience the event and to be the first to hold her.  (I can't say enough the respect, admiration, and love we have for this amazing woman.  She gave us something no one else on the planet could have, and did so with love for Sabrina at the forefront of her decision.)  Timing, never one of Sabrina's strong points, was not on our side as we got the call that "It's time!" two days early at 9 PM and we couldn't leave until the next morning.  Even if we left for L.A. immediately, the entire thing was over in about 2 hours anyway, so there's no way we would have made it.  Add to that our nightmare drive and we didn't get to the hospital until that afternoon.
So we met our girl when she was about 18 hours old on April 19th, 2009.  Today is our "3rd Anniversary" of becoming a family.  Our relationship with K. is still very strong (she loved yesterday's bouncy house video) and though she will always have that sadness inside her, she tells us it's balanced by the happiness she has for us and Sabrina.  Adoption is joyful, sad, fulfilling, and bittersweet all at the same time.  Adoptive parents and birth parents both experience the full gambit of these emotions at one point or another.  Today we concentrate on joy, and are grateful for K. and for those who helped us along the way.  Today reminds us of how lucky we are.

(The fact that I'm typing this as our carpets and furniture are being professionally cleaned reminds us that we also adopted messiness, but hey, you get the whole package.)

3!

Happy Birthday Sabrina!

Whine Cheese

Chuck E. Cheese--corporate
mascot and anti-Christ finalist

As a gay man, I'm used to seeing things taken from gay culture and going mainstream when deemed cool and nonthreatening enough to do so by straight people.  The phrase "Drama Queen" comes to mind.  Techno music used to be fun to dance to until straight people discovered it and started playing it at basketball games.  Clay Aiken.  But I'm starting to realize it works both ways.  As a parent, I'm pulled relentlessly towards the mainstream on a regular basis.  Sometimes it's cool, sometimes depressing, and sometimes horrifying.  I had such an experience last week, when invited to a parental ritual straight people have been going to for years: a child's birthday party in a pizza encrusted level of Hell known as Chuck E. Cheese.

Sabrina and I attended this event on our own; Gregg stayed home as he was not feeling well.  I found out later it was because he was invited to Chuck E. Cheese.  I'd been to Peter Piper Pizza before, where kids run around eating pizza and playing rigged games with tokens in exchange for tickets redeemable for toys that fall apart on the way home.  Moderately tolerable, I figured this couldn't be much different.  Walking in, the first thought that entered my head was "You're gonna need a bigger boat..."

Hardened pizza crusts littered the floor.  Children of all sizes were running around seemingly unsupervised, spreading multicolored snot from their fingers on every available surface.  A dull hum of ever present noise spiked by random screams and laughter filled the air.  Technically a restaurant, I didn't smell any food.  Just the scents of sweaty children and despair. The atmosphere was a combination of Walmart and a crowded Motor Vehicle Department.  Looking down, my worst fears were realized:  Sabrina was smiling from ear to ear.

In the middle of the "restaurant" was a giant plastic Habitrail suspended from the ceiling and meeting the ground with slides and climbing tubes.  "Daddy Sabrina goes on the slide," she said as she began tugging me toward it. 
"Not yet Sabrina, first we have to find Aaron and tell him Happy Birthday".
"No SLIDE!"
Here begins the first minor meltdown.  Telling her she could go on the slide after we saw Aaron fell on deaf ears.  She continued to scream for the slide until she saw the rocket ship ride.
"Rocket!  Rocket!"
I already regretted this and we hadn't even been there for three minutes yet.

We found Aaron's mother, apologized for our screaming fit (although we did blend in with the rest of the action), took our cup of tokens, and headed out into the fray.  Since the rocket ride was the most recent outrage, we headed there first.  Finally, smiles as I buckled her in, I gave a hearty "Here we go!", plunked in the token, and watched as nothing happened.  Great.  OK, I added another.  Blast Off!  Or not.  Still nothing.  I wasn't wasting another one, so I played up the virtues of the slide to keep the protest to a minimum as I unbuckled her.  As we walked to the slide she shot daggers at me while we watched some future astronaut blast off in the now working rocket ride.

Sabrina climbed up into the giant tubes with gusto.  Looking up at the maze hanging from the ceiling, I realized I could soon be squeezing my ass through it as I hunted for a screaming child lost in its recesses.  As I looked through one of the maze's few plastic window panels I saw a little girl on the other side licking it.  Mental note: See if Dr. Allen can be convinced to administer a shot for plague, or at the least, cooties.

After twenty minutes of breathing what I assumed was a mist of germ infested air inside the giant tubes and sliding down the dingy slide, it was time to sit down to eat.  The menu consisted of slabs of "pizza" and fried happy hour food that looked like it was past its sell date but still edible due to being encased in a thick shell of fry batter and oil.  I opted for what they were calling the Salad Bar.  Knowing that many kids won't eat their green vegetables, Chuck E. Cheese's ingenious solution was to serve only yellow and white vegetables, like broccoli and lettuce.  (Yes, you read that correctly.)  There were some rubbery carrot sticks you could tie into pretzel shapes, and a giant bin of crushed hard boiled eggs.  I didn't get any of those as the person in front of me covered some lettuce with heaping ladles of egg, topped off with rivers of thousand island dressing.  Too much for Rachel Ray, but not quite up to Paula Dean standards.  I decided to skip lunch.

Back at the table, Chuck E. Cheese was making his grand entrance.  This is birthday served assembly line style, as Chuck entertains six parties at a time, all crammed into the same area.  He was surrounded by teen aged workers who clearly didn't want to be there.  The only one smiling was the pre-recorded video host, who prattled on about how all children love Mr. Cheese for his cool dancing moves and mostly flea free mouse attire.  Mr. Cheese must have taken a hit of d-CON before he came out because he seemed pretty stiff, offering jerky, uncoordinated twitches they said was "dancing".  The kids ate this stuff up.  My dull headache was spreading behind my eyes.

After a middle aged man dressed in carnival attire who looked remarkably like John Wayne Gacy plopped some more ice cream down in front of us, we pretty much knew it was time to go.  Aaron opened his gifts, the kids all clapped, and Chuck went back to his lair.  Soon after, a teen aged kid with dark circles under his eyes and exhibiting jerky uncoordinated twitches came out.  I dragged Sabrina, now screaming for another rocket ride, out into the sunlight.  "Daddy, can we go see Chuck E. Cheese again?" after she calmed down.

"Maybe another time, sweetie."  Another time indeed.  I'm not sure how another visit with "Chuck E." could be more horrifying.


The original Chucky pales in comparison.

    

Defy Gravity

Last week was Gregg's birthday, and I was actually able to keep his present a secret at least until a few hours before I gave it to him.  He's a big fan of the Wicked books which tell the behind the scenes story of the witches of Oz.  So we got my sister to baby sit our own little munchkin and went out to dinner and to see Wicked the Musical, which was playing it's national tour in Tempe.  If you've seen it, you know how wonderful it is, and if you haven't, well, get on your broom and get to the theatre before someone drops a house on you.  We had a great time, and believe it or not it was the first night we'd gone out together without Sabrina since she was born.

Wicked focuses on Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West, and tells her origin story and the story of Oz from her point of view.  I won't be giving anything away when I say there comes a point in the play where she has to make a life changing decision right after she gets bitten by a radioactive spider realizes her power and becomes "The Witch".  She has to choose between compromising her principles and doing what's expected of her or following her instincts and doing what she feels is right regardless of the consequences.  This happens at the Act 1 finale where she sings "Defying Gravity".  The song comes as she gets her broom and learns to fly, but is also a metaphor for her taking her leap of faith and steping off into the unknown with only her determination and morals to lift her up.  It's a very inspirational scene.

I've been thinking of about this all week.  How have I tried to "defy gravity" in my life?  I guess by living an openly gay life, by taking a risk and moving to L.A. for a few years, maybe even by becoming a parent.  More importantly, I want Sabrina and our future child to "defy gravity" in their lives.  As a parent, it might not be an easy thing to support.  Perhaps I'll be at odds with their ideas.  Maybe I'll want to protect them and keep them safe.  Who knows.  But I want to think that when the time comes for my kids to make their own decisions I'll be there to support them even if I'm not necessarily in agreement.  I know how we're raising them.  I know the values we're imparting to them.  I know we'll encourage them to dream big.  When they come to me and tell me what their dreams are, I hope I'll have the courage to look them in the eye and say "Go--follow your dreams.  And defy gravity".

Looking Before We Leap

We're close to being live on Project Baby, The Sequel.  Our letter is in the final proofing stage, and I'm pretty sure by the end of this week we'll be ready to go for the marketing stage.  I find myself once again looking at the landscape of America, and thinking...

1. Where will the baby winds blow this time?  In what part of the country will our little Finster be born?
2. Will we be able to adopt this baby?  The culture wars are heating up again and the Republican candidates are ramping up the anti gay marriage and adoption rhetoric. Rick Santorum hates gay people so much wears sweater vests in public.  It burns our eyes!

Point 2 requires extra consideration.  We live in Arizona, where the Tea Party and the Mormon Church have collided in the perfect storm of buffoonery, mean spirits, and sanctimonious bull shit.  Joint gay adoption is about as realistic here as Gov. Jan Brewer completing a grammatically correct full sentence.  Not going to happen.  With Sabrina's adoption, since she was born in California, we were able to finalize there and adopt jointly.  (California is full of everything Arizona hates, like college professors and Europeans.)  But we may not be so lucky this time around.  We've decided that legally, we have to be equal to our two children.  So we've decided to rule out any state that will not allow us to adopt jointly.  That narrows the list to about ten states and the District of Columbia.  It's pretty sad we have to cut our own home state off the list.  We understand that may extend our wait for a child by a considerable amount, but we're not willing to have two children with different legal status.  We'll see in the end how long the waiting game takes.  This is just another example of why adoption and marriage law should be standard across the country.  Hopefully, that day will come soon.

Also, Rick Santorum.

Once Again I Give You...

The new and improved GreggAndBobby.com!

Well we're almost there.  Our new "Dear Birth Mother" letter has been approved, as has our website.  I still have to create a secondary website that is part of our agency's main site, but I should have that done this weekend.  A Facebook page will be made as well, but that will come soon.  I've ordered a proof of the letter on card stock and had it sent to Los Angeles for the agency's review.  Once approved (again) I'll get the OK to order the bulk 300 or so copies.  So we should be live and marketable for our second adoptionwithin the next 2 weeks or so.  Finally!

Please take a look at our new site and feel free to leave some comments for me.  I've changed the link on the right side of the page to direct to our new letter or you can view that on Gregg and Bobby as well.  I'm looking forward to the wait and all the emotional baggage that comes with it.  Will it be a short, smooth 3 week ride as with Sabrina?  A year in the making?  A match with a drama queen who takes us on a roller coaster?  Who knows, but whatever it is, we'll see it through.

At least since this week the Catholic Church is reminding everyone that Jesus hates birth control, nine months from now the cabbage patch may be full...

It's Coming Together

Our birth mother letter PDF has been sent off to the adoption agency, all our paper work is finished.  With any luck, we'll be on the books for marketing and ready for the pitter patter of little feet in a week or so.  And by pitter patter I mean waiting.  But a good kind of waiting.

We've decided to lose our guest room and turn it into Sabrina's new room.  Her current room will be the nursery.  So there's some work to do with painting and redecorating, not to mention figuring out what to do with the guest room furniture.  Sabrina's room is still the neutral green color we painted it before she was born, so besides a little sprucing up it won't be too hard.  To help ease the transition, we're going to let her help paint (Lord help us) and set it up.  The last thing we'll do is have her carry the letters of her name out of her room and re-hang them over her new bed.  Hopefully that will give her some ownership.

Now to send some good vibes, a reading from the gospel of Dr. Suess, The Cat in the Hat, page 8, as told by the fish, who, we're constantly told, does not like the cat:

Happy New Year and New Family 2012!

Happy 2012 Everyone!  Or, based on your belief system, make the most of the 11 1/2 months you have left before the world explodes or vaporizes or whatever fun ending the Mayans had in store for us.  (If the Mayans were so smart, where the hell are they today?)

For us, we're hoping 2012 will be the year we complete our family and adopt our second child.  For those of you who are waiting, especially for your first, take heart.  You spent 2011 doing all the mundane, taxing, mind numbing work you needed to do to get this far.  This year, you're past that, and 2012 will be a year of anticipation and change.  The ride of adoption isn't always a smooth one, but the beginning of a new year holds so much promise.  Right now, there may be a little life developing and growing that is destined to land in your hearts.  That's what I like to think; that somewhere an unborn heart beats, a future uncertain, a decision to be made.  Someone is agonizing at the beginning of this year, but will be relieved and at peace by year's end.  A child will land where he or she should be, and a family will be made or completed.  That's what I'm thinking of right now.  We don't know what promise this year holds for any of us, but for a spirit yet to be born, we're waiting for you.

A joyous and happy new year to all my followers.

B.

A Carefree Christmas

The town of Carefree, Arizona is just north east of Phoenix and about an hour from our house.  It has a very "new old West" feel to it in that it has many wild desert spaces intermingled with a small town setting.  That, and everything in the town is perfectly manicured and "set" for tourists.  It has a population that is very upper middle class and higher, and is filled with beautiful homes done in a modern adobe and southwest style.  The downtown is filled with art spaces, galleries, and craft stores that reflect the old west atmosphere that Carefree tries so hard to portray.  It's a pretty area, and at a slightly higher elevation then the Valley of the Sun it does get colder.  On some rare occasions there is snow topping the saguaro cactus and Joshua trees.  It's in Carefree that we spent this weekend relaxing before Santa arrives two weeks from now.

Two of the Dads that run the Carefree Resort sponsored an outing for our Phoenix Gay Dad's Group Saturday night.  We arrived in the afternoon to a beautiful suite and headed to an absolutely wonderful dinner in the main dining room of the resort.  Our hosts were two new dads of a five month old boy.  After the fantastic food and drinks, we hoped a shuttle to downtown Carefree for the annual Christmas parade and festival.  Due to the cold, Sabrina was attired in her cozy warm "New York" coat and mittens, her ever present blankie, and her blinking Christmas light necklace.  She loved the electric light parade, where every float and marcher was adorned with Christmas lights.  Elaborately decorated fire trucks, ponies, marching bands, and floats drove past us all lit up.  Being guests of the resort, we had front row seats.  Even the Grinch himself, America's toughest do nothing corrupt Sheriff Joe rode down the street in his gigantic monument to wasted taxpayer dollars, his tank, looking like that was the absolute last place he wanted to be.  (Until then I'd never heard booing at a Christmas parade, but...)  Based on the scowl on his face, I imagined the stick up his ass was candy cane striped.  But I digress...

Sabrina started the day at swimming school.  Arriving at the resort, we took a quick hike of the grounds.  The dinner had kids swarming all over and they laughed and played for two hours at least.  So that's why it was possible for her to fall asleep three quarters of the way through fire trucks and marching bands.  She waved at every single one, and as I watched the waving get slower and slower, I knew she'd never make it to the end.  Not to mention the after parade schedule was bouncy houses, playing in 25 tons of imported snow, and fire works with Santa.  Nope, at parade conclusion, we boarded the shuttle back to the resort.  Just as well cause I was freezing my cute little patootie off!

Turns out that was OK, because she awoke in our room just in time for Gregg to hear the fireworks starting.  Out on the balcony, we had the best view ever of the show.  Sabrina loved it, and has been shouting "Boom boom fireworks, boom boom!" all day.  Since she was awake, we went back down to the lobby in time to see some of the other families arriving back at the resort.  After another hour of running and playing with the kids, getting her to sleep after just one reading of The Cat in the Hat wasn't too hard at all.

This morning we got up and had a great breakfast at the hotel, then headed back to town to see what we missed the night before.  This worked out because it was not crowded at all, and we got to play in the snow and visit all the shops after all.  We even climbed a platform and rode snow discs down the steep hill to the bottom.  Of course, most people wouldn't sit a 2 1/2 year old on a round piece of plastic and push them down a hill, but I'm not most people.  Besides she insists on doing everything herself, so...

Santa's head on a platter

The Frosty Float

I think some kids worked hard on this one

Fun, and hygienic soap bubble snowflakes

Father-daughter Olympic tryouts

Flying solo.  She was so proud of herself!