Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Tar Heeled

I'd like to take this opportunity to congratulate the great state of North Carolina for narrowly preventing itself from being wiped off the map in a fit of biblical justice by today voting to ban same sex marriage.  By amending their constitution to define marriage as "one man one woman" they have successfully avoided God's wrath.  Hurricane season is due to start in a few months and would have been a convenient excuse for a good Ol' Testament ass whoopin'.  “Marriage remains an essential social institution which unites men and women to provide for the reproduction of the human race and to provide mothers and fathers for children," Peter Sprigg of the Family Research Council smirked said.  Noting that children are never born to unmarried partners and without marriage they wouldn't have mothers or fathers, North Carolina voters have ensured the survival of the Human Race.
FRC Spokesmen Peter Sprigg (l) and Tony Perkins (r).
North Carolina has always followed biblical principles since being admitted to the Union in 1789 and settling into present day 1952.  Building a solid foundation using bible approved slave labor, the state is home to many historic sites such as Kitty Hawk where the Wright brothers made the first airplane flight.  They were proud of North Carolina right up until its citizens burned them as witches.  And who can forget their brave struggle for liberty and free labor in the War of Northern Aggression?

Raleigh, circa 1820.
This new amendment has far reaching effects.  By making marriage the only legal relationship qualifier in the state, it strips domestic partnerships from gay and straight couples alike.  Melissa and Libby are two moms in a domestic partnership with a 5 year old daughter.  The girl is covered under Libby's health insurance, but since she can not legally adopt her and that partnership is now void, that child may no longer be covered.  Many other families ("families" as the FRC calls them, always using scary quotes) will now be in a similar bind.  Besides the fact that current adoption laws in many states prevent a significant number of children from finding loving homes, marriage inequality ensures they are not adequately protected in numerous ways.  (I'll post about our recent failed second adoption soon.  I've been quiet about it but I'm ready now.)  But the main thing is discrimination apparently keeps Jesus happy.  As Pat Robertson rightly pointed out to the city of Orlando, uppity homosexuals mocking God by going to Disney World during Gay Pride is flirting with disaster:

"I would warn Orlando that you're right in the way of some serious hurricanes, and I don't think I'd be waving those flags in God's face if I were you, This is not a message of hate -- this is a message of redemption. But a condition like this will bring about the destruction of your nation. It'll bring about terrorist bombs; it'll bring earthquakes, tornadoes, and possibly a meteor."

Imagine a place where men prance through the streets in tights and people in outlandish costumes flaunt garish makeup.  And that's Disney before the gays even get there!  If a city can be destroyed by one day of Gay Pride, think of what would happen if the gays got married!

Notorious gay marrying dinosaurs meet their doom.
Now, sidestepping the fact that God is a single father who runs a successful publishing company (#1 best seller of all time whoot whoot!), he still makes time to get into politics.  And that's why we love America, because even though we have a constitution that never mentions marriage or gays at all, we always have the bible to fill in the gaps.  Tonight North Carolina makes us proud to live in a country where all men are created equal (wink wink) and the ancient Israelites would be happy to call home.

Dyke free since 2012!

*If I didn't write this post, I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.  Writing is a good outlet for anger, and I'm so stinking mad right now I had to have a release.  Yeah, it's a bit snarky.  All I know is we have a little girl who deserves to be as protected by her government as the kids next door, and right now she isn't.  We may both be her legal parents, but our family falls short legally in too many other ways to make us comfortable.


17 comments:

Jimh. said...

If you were a bit snarky, then NC is just plain unfriendly. I wanted to visit the state, simply to see the battleship that is a sister to the long scrapped USS Washington, but now, I don't know if I want to go. At least Washington state has open minds!

Anonymous said...

Wow, I read your blog regularly and I came today and I am glad to see that you are writing about this issue. I live in North Carolina. In fact, I am the Melissa Hodges you noted in this post! Thank you for your support. I'm so sorry your second parent adoption was denied. I hope that in spite of that you and your partner will soon get matched with a birth mother for a second child to join your lovely family. We'll keep fighting for us and for you. Truly at this point I think all of us really should just move our butts to the same state and kick out all these jerks and just do our own thing.

Stef Ryan said...

I'm one of the 18,000 couples in California who got married during the brief window it was legal here before the voters passed Prop 8. I so feel your pain. We're all in this together-- and eventually, in our lifetime, it will change.

In the meantime- thanks for the snark. :)

Lisa T. said...

It is totally not the intent of our state or federal constitutions to limit our citizen's rights, quite the opposite. Our State, Indiana has suggested the same amendments. It makes me want to vomit. I feel my hands are tired, what can we do to stop such things? It would seem that Christians would support marriage, it certainly is more in line with the values they say they hold...but no worries Bobby they want their gays having tons of sex with lots of partners and hating themselves because the gays are second class citizens, so those kind Christians are giving you a license for fun! Weeeeeee! Oh wait, you just want to make sure your daughter is safe and has health insurance? They can't allow that.... I'm so sorry that our country is still in this spot. and I'm sorry about your failed second adoption. You are doubly pissed tonight!

Jenn said...

Love your blog but don't comment, until today. Couldn't let this one go by without a comment. It's hard to live here today but your post made me smile. The hypocrisy is worse than the hate sometimes...

Bobby said...

Melissa you should contact me via email.

mommy3 said...

As I just posted on FB, " North Carolina, where gay partners can't marry. But you CAN marry your cousin". Pretty amazing that this vote came through the same week that Pres Obama came out in support of marriage equality. Pretty bizarre juxtaposition. When will they ever learn to just understand the rights of these issues? I cried over both.

mommy3 said...

I meant to also share that I'm truly sorry about your adoption failure. It's just so hard to wait -- and then have a situation not work out.

Mike and Tony said...

You, as always, are my most favorite blogger. I adore you and thank you for this.

TooeleTwins said...

I read this blog because you are a fantastic writer. Chuck E Cheese? Epic. NC? Completely fabulous. Thank you for putting a smile on my face over something that is truly a sad event. (Of course, I live in Utah, and we've been feeling the effects of this kind of constitutional discrimination for years and years - ten, actually!)

catsandcradles said...

GRRRR! Blogger just ate my comment!

Basically it boiled down to this: I a bummed, but not surprised. I am, however, encouraged by the fact that my NC relatives, who are generally pretty non-political, all posted against the amendment. I think that by living our lives openly we help people understand that it's not about "queers wanting special rights", it's about that nice couple down the block wanting legal recognition and the ability to provide health insurance to their kids.

I also found this quite interesting, and rather encouraging:
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/talk-is-cheap-but-effective/Content?oid=13669883

catsandcradles said...

*AM bummed, not "a bummed"

Next time I will proofread before hitting the publish button.

findingbecky said...

It is so sad that to know that we are NOT all created equal. This post was perfectly written and should be in an opinion column somewhere. I also pictured Jon Stewart saying the same things on his show. Honestly, Bobby, I think you are missing your calling here and should become a writer.

David said...

And the satire drools. lol I laughed through much of this post.

I am really writing because I cannot find an email address to contact you and I thought you and/or your readers might be interested in this open letter defending surrogacy: http://www.fertilityconsultants.ca/blog/2012/10/01/bully-equates-egg-donation-with-rape/

I hope you find it of interest.

David.

Anonymous said...

I've been enjoying your blog but noticed you haven't posted for several months. I hope everything is okay.

Anonymous said...

Are you going to start blogging again?

Michaela said...

Miss your entries :-) Where are you???