Well it's been a week and I think we're about 95% done with the ear infections. As of Sunday she's mostly acting her normal self again, although she's been more clingy then normal. That could be from being sick, from the anti-biotics, or maybe from a milk allergy (we just started weaning her to milk from formula a week or so ago). We think she'll be completely done in a day or two.
She finally got to have her birthday cake on Sunday. Mmmm, cake!
The girl was up at 3 AM with 102 degree fever. Some water, Tylenol, and late night Barney got it down to 99 an hour later. She spent some time in bed with the Daddies after that until she could fall asleep. Gregg's staying home with her today, and when I left for work this morning it was almost 101 again.
Last night saw a playful nothing's wrong phase, followed by a screamfest right before bed, but no fever most of the day. A little cranky this morning, no fever, so off to day care. I called around 1 this afternoon and they said she wasn't eating her solids and was definately not the life of the party she usually is. They said she even had a small breakdown after I left this morning, which is not her style.
Just got word a few minutes ago they called Gregg, she has a fever. So he's off to pick her up. He usually gets her around 3:30 or so anyway, so she almost made it. Poor Chipmunk.
As a parent, you want to make your child's first birthday a memorable event. I've heard of some over the top Happy One Year Birthday Events, complete with circus animals, magicians, and the cast of American Idol on hand to entertain the guest of honor. This wasn't the party we planned.
We decided to spend Saturday, the day before her birthday, at the Phoenix Zoo. It was a little warm but still enjoyable, and she had a good time. She was a little quieter then normal, but had fun and was her normal playful self when we got home. We should have suspected something...
Calm before the storm
Birthday Sunday started off a little strange. She woke up around 8 AM. Strange, she never gets up until 9 on weekends... Well she must know today's the big day...turning one! Downstairs to open presents.
Hmm, she seemed more into opening gifts on Christmas... She had two big boxes to open, and with some help from the Daddies, got her gifts. We let her play with them for a bit while we set about the final preparations for the party. Since she got up early, we thought maybe an early nap was in order. Perfect, since the party starts at 2 PM. It took a little longer then normal to get her to go down but she finally drifted off to sleep. Is it hot in here, or does she seem a little warm? Well she's acting happy.
So here's the plan. We reserved a ramada at Red Moutain Park. I was going to go over around 1:15 and set up and decorate, Gregg would show up with Sabrina and most of the food at 2 when our guests started arriving. While setting up, my phone rang. It was Gregg. "She's screaming uncontrollably, and she's got a fever of 102.5. I don't think we're coming. You'll have to come get the food".
"Well it's nice and cool over here, we can put her in her play pen, I'm sure she'll be fine once her cousins and friends get here."
"No, I can't even dress her. She's crying so bad. Something's wrong."
I wasn't getting it. By this point the guests started arriving, some from the north valley, some from as far as Tucson. OK, deep breath. I told everyone I was leaving to go get the food and the guest of honor isn't coming. Now I know alot of you don't know each other. Mingle. Luckily, the park is just down the street from our house.
When I walked in, I got it. I have not heard her scream like that since she was a newborn. Usually picking her up will console her, but not today. Teeth or earache, or both, she wasn't going to the party. OK, we can make this work... Since Gregg's car was already loaded up, I took that one back to the park and unloaded the food. All the guests were very understanding, but I was completely stressed out. I knew I was when I squirted ketchup on my burger and missed, spraying it all over my white shorts instead. Great. Where are the napkins? Right in my truck...the one that's back home. Ugh. Enter my sister. "Bobby, we need some napkins for the kids. Where did you put them?". Uggnnhhh...
Somehow we got through it. Gregg and Sabrina did show up for the last 15 minutes. Sabrina wore a sad sack look, cried some, but her fever was gone at least. We took her home to open her gifts, which she half heartedly played with. She would laugh and play, then start a crying binge. Poor girl.
I kept her home this morning, and we're headed to the doctor later. I gave her a morning bath, and she played in the tub for a bit, but went right back to sleep after, and she never does that.
This was the first party I ever planned that did not include alcohol. I'll never do that again!
Well the little stinker is closing in on one year old. Her birthday is on Sunday the 18th. She's toddling all over the place now. She's decided it's fun to feed puffs and goldfish to The Boys, who take them ever so slowly and gently from her outstretched arm. Sometimes they get one or two quick licks in before she gets tired of waiting and just eats it herself. Meh, dogs and baby have all had their shots. I could jump up off the couch and race over there to snatch it out of her hand before she pops it in her mouth. I could...
Anyway, I've forgotten what it's like to not have her around. So I jumped back in time to visit the blog in April of 2009 to see what I was feeling. Apparently I moped around whining about how long this is taking a lot.An incredible amount of time was wasted. I could have been at Happy Hours and fabulous nightclubs. Instead, I sat around waiting! Uh, past self I just want to slap you (me?)! Weekend trips to romantic places? None! I could have even taken Gregg with me. I could have had a party and danced around the living room without shoes on and not broken my foot by stepping on one of the Fisher Price Little People who I swear can appear around the house with Twilight Zone creepiness. I could have done wacky stuff like ate dinner before 9 PM or watched a newscast from start to finish without pausing the DVR.
The point is, your life changes incredibly when you become a parent. And the change is for the better. Sure there are lots of things we no longer do, and you could never have convinced me that reading Ten Friendly Fish four or five times in a row at one sitting or playing endless games of peek-a-boo were great ways to spend a Saturday night. But I'm fascinated with the way an almost one year old changes and learns day by day. And she does it all with her daddies wrapped around her finger laughing along with her. So if you're waiting for your baby via adoption, or any other way, my advice is to go live it up. It will help ease the wait and speed things along. It's not like you'll never do it again (I have a Happy Hour coming up on Friday--yippie!) but those days will be few and far between. You'll have a good time...but the best is yet to come!
I know it's old news at this point, but by now I'm sure you've all heard that singer, dancer, and super sexy Latin DILF Ricky Martin has come out of the closet as a gay man. I was actually going to let this one pass without commenting on it; for years I've just assumed Ricky was gay. I mean come on, what straight guy can dance like that? Well maybe Zac Effron. Oh wait...
Anyway, Ricky said his children, twin boys born via surrogacy, inspired him to go public with his sexuality and I say good for you amigo. There's nothing more important in your life than your kids, and there's no more important thing that you can give them than the truth (well maybe except for the Santa thing). Ricky Martin may be an international superstar, but when it comes to raising his children he's really no different then the rest of us. The minute you teach them that they can't talk about their family life or worse, have to lie to people about it, you've planted the seed that there is something wrong with it. And with themselves.
I think staying in the closet is a personal choice. (Except if you're a politician. I take issue with closeted politicians for a number of reasons, but that's another post.) Having said that, children change the game. I can't imagine what kind of supreme effort would have to go into keeping that secret while toteing around a toddler who's starting to learn how to talk. Kids will innocently say the most embarassing things at exactly the wrong times every day. There's nothing you can do about that. So, do you keep them isolated from the world until they are old enough to teach them to lie effectively? Do you instill the sense of shame at an early age? What effect does that have on their self esteem, mental developement, and social interactions with children their own ages? I can imagine Sabrina babbling endlessly "Daddy Papa Daddy Papa Daddy Papa" in line at the grocery store. I can't imagine trying to shut her up when she does it so people won't figure out she has two male parents. (If she starts telling them in a pinch we've been known to shop at Wal-mart, I'll lower the shame boom immediately. There is a line you know.) As gay parents, we do our part every day to help change society just by going about our lives. Going to restaurants and shops. Daycare enrollment. Heck walking through the zoo or the park. Now I'm not a celebrity worshipper, but I do give credit to people like Ricky Martin or Wanda Sykes who may have tried to stay under the gaydar but came out once they had children. They knew it was the right thing to do. The more visibility we have, the more accepted we'll be. And the happier and healthier our children will be too.