Dry Run

Sunday August 3rd was our nephew Noah's third birthday. We celebrated it at my parents house. It was a fun day. As we were getting ready to leave, his brother Ethan started grabbing onto my leg and saying "I want to go home with you Uncle Bobby!". Now Ethan is five, and a really great kid. He loves his Uncle Bobby and Uncle Gregg. He's a little, shall we say, "gun shy" about staying somewhere away from his parents. He's also a little afraid of dogs, especially big ones like The Boys. The Boys love kids, and would never hurt them, but they do get a little excited when guests come over. If you're five, short, and excitable, they'll love you to death. Loving you to death means knocking you down and licking your face and trust me, Labrador saliva is not very tasty. Since getting licked in the face is how I usually wake up in the morning, I'm kind of a slobber connoisseur. Anyway, Ethan promised not to change his mind in the middle of the night, and not to be afraid of the dogs. To his credit, he kept both promises.

The visit went really well. Gregg and Ethan played an online game, something about penguins (no, not Tango again!) and then we watched some Boomerang. If you don't know, Boomerang is a channel from Cartoon Network, and it plays all the old cartoons we watched as kids, like Space Ghost and Johnny Quest. Ethan was fascinated by cartoons he never heard of before. He was a little offended that Thundar the Barbarian ripped off the light saber and called it a "sun sword" but hey, no one said they were original. We let him sleep in the other room, and I told him some bedtime stories before we both fell asleep in there.

Next morning, at 7am, the first words out of his mouth were "What game should we play first?". I was about to get a lesson in five year old time management. It seems you go from one game to another, without stopping, until it's time to go to bed. So we played Chutes and Ladders, helicopter, threw parachute guys off the second floor balcony, XBox, and this candy grabber game all before ten o' clock. We took a quick time out for breakfast (Trix) and to feed the animals. Then it was off to the park to go on every swing and climby thing they had, and then back home to take The Boys out for some morning tennis ball playing. Did I mention a spin with the remote control car? All while talking non stop. We would have gone in the pool, but now it was time to go to Dave and Busters at Tempe Marketplace.

D & B's was pretty fun. We played a lot of games, won a lot of tickets, got some crappy prizes, and had lunch. I guess I knew we did a good job because Ethan didn't want to go home. I was out of energy so yes, it was time to go home! Thank goodness we're getting an infant. They don't start talking as soon as they're born right?

No bottles, no cribs, no problem?

So far this is a nicely sanitized baby free blog isn't it? No messy diapers, no sonogram pictures, no doctor's appointments. No contractions, baby showers, rattles, or birth mothers. Just me and my weird rants or comments. So far everything is very clinical and business like. I feel more like I'm applying for a line of credit then adopting a baby. In fact, we haven't even done any "baby" stuff, except buy a few subversive children's books. Well and a tiny stuffed frog I saw at Target. It was just so cute. I put it away in my nightstand drawer for now. Thing is, I just have this kind of empty feeling inside, like I'm waiting for something but I don't know what it is. We still have not heard from the state on our home study approval, we haven't gotten our website approved by the IAC yet, and our letter isn't finished (started?). It's all paperwork and legal stuff. Every time I see another form to fill out about background checks or racial questions my eyes just roll back in my head and I want to just disappear. That same feeling I get when the hubby says we have to go grocery shopping. (Luckily it annoys him so he's stopped asking and just goes by himself...ka-ching!) I just want to get past all of this and start worrying about actual baby stuff. Worry about getting a call and meeting the birth mom. I'm not thinking about any of that right now because it's not a current possibility. Maybe I'll change my mind later, but right now, I can't wait to be worried...

Reading is Fundamental (ist)

After my last little rant, I suppose this is a good place to introduce you to little Tango. And Tango Makes Three is a book that has been recommended to us through some of the adoption message boards we've been participating in online. Gregg and I both believe that reading to children from an early age helps to develop their minds and is also a great bonding tool. Neither one of us can wait to hold little Finster in our arms and read to it at night. (If you're bothered by the "it" you need to go a couple of posts back in time for the explanation!)

Tango is a great book that fits our needs in a number of ways. First, we are seeking out books about adoption that are geared towards young children. We want to make sure adoption is always presented in a positive manner and make it as natural as possible a way for families to be created. We don't want little Finster to feel unique or in any way different from other children, and we want Finster to be able to talk about and explain adoption to classmates and friends from the beginning. The worst thing would be to come home from school upset and then we have to start talking about adoption for the first time. Tango tells the story of an infertile penguin couple that "adopts" and hatches an egg from another penguin couple.

Secondly, our situation is going to be different from Finster's classmates, especially here in Mesa, because it will have two daddies. Tango works here because the penguin couple in question, Silo and Roy, happen to be two male penguins. Being basically lazy, I'll paste in the synopsis of the book below:

PreSchool-Grade 3-This tale based on a true story about a charming penguin family living in New York City's Central Park Zoo will capture the hearts of penguin lovers everywhere. Roy and Silo, two male penguins, are "a little bit different." They cuddle and share a nest like the other penguin couples, and when all the others start hatching eggs, they want to be parents, too. Determined and hopeful, they bring an egg-shaped rock back to their nest and proceed to start caring for it. They have little luck, until a watchful zookeeper decides they deserve a chance at having their own family and gives them an egg in need of nurturing. The dedicated and enthusiastic fathers do a great job of hatching their funny and adorable daughter, and the three can still be seen at the zoo today.

So I read the review, thought "Hey that's perfect!" and had Amazon.com ship it right over. It does a great job of showing how the penguin chick is a happy well adjusted bird that happens to have two fathers. Plus, these birds are still living in the Central Park Zoo in New York City. I have no idea how long penguins live, but who knows maybe we can take Finster over there to see them one day. And if they do kick the bucket with any luck they'll stuff 'em and send them over to the Museum of Natural History, New York's largest collection of dead animals, unless you include the subway (kidding, relax...).

Sounds charming and whimsical doesn't it...but wait there's more. My first story book for my future baby was actually the devil in disguise! Tango may help my child to be well adjusted and confident in it's family life, but in reality it is at the center of a firestorm of controversy. Here are a few "other" reviews of Tango, which has managed to become the most challenged library book in recent history...

"My wife unwittingly sat down to read it with the kids, halting the story midway. We later found out that our 6 year-old had already read it. We spent an hour undoing the damage and it ruined not just storytime but the whole evening. My 6 year-old readily understood that the book was wrong. In fact, he knew when he read the book that it was talking nonsense and that it wasn’t right. My daughter was unnerved to discover that same-sex couples, apparently in all species, can adopt children." (Gasp!)

Or this little gem:

"...this book has been insidiously and deceitfully placed in libraries across America to re-educate young children to accept all families as valid, whether they have two mommies, two daddies, three daddies or three mommies and two daddies. It is deceptively normal and intentionally aimed at children whose primary concern should be Legos and dolls. They push the debate on homosexuality into the kindergarten when the only debate children that age should be forced to decide is crust or no crust on their sandwiches. I am appalled that Simon and Schuster thinks my children are ready for sex. And I am angry that they chose such a backhanded method to pump someone’s agenda. They will be hearing from my articulate 9 year-old in the coming days, and my library will be hearing from me." (From here the article devolves into scripture and why Jesus hates penguins.)

Hmm, better re-read it. Nowhere did I see anything mentioned on polygamy in there. (I'm still trying to work out the logistics on that last one about three moms and two dads...) OK so here's the thing: If you don't like the message, then how about you don't read the book! (And how did they not know what it was about? Penguins are somewhere between flamingos and Ricky Martin as Earth's Gayest Animal.) We're hoping to raise our child to be "deceptively normal" and this book does a great job of just that. Besides when the mob of angry nine year olds storms the local library they'll be looking for penguins, not Finster. The icing on the cake however is that And Tango Makes Three is now the most challenged book on library shelves for two years in a row. Knowing me, I'll read it to the baby daily with a large smile on my face. Right before I move on to the second book I bought, The Family Book, which explains how all kinds of people make a family, including ones with two moms or two dads.

So if you'd like to join me in the Downfall of Western Society as we know it, you can always buy the book here.