No bottles, no cribs, no problem?

So far this is a nicely sanitized baby free blog isn't it? No messy diapers, no sonogram pictures, no doctor's appointments. No contractions, baby showers, rattles, or birth mothers. Just me and my weird rants or comments. So far everything is very clinical and business like. I feel more like I'm applying for a line of credit then adopting a baby. In fact, we haven't even done any "baby" stuff, except buy a few subversive children's books. Well and a tiny stuffed frog I saw at Target. It was just so cute. I put it away in my nightstand drawer for now. Thing is, I just have this kind of empty feeling inside, like I'm waiting for something but I don't know what it is. We still have not heard from the state on our home study approval, we haven't gotten our website approved by the IAC yet, and our letter isn't finished (started?). It's all paperwork and legal stuff. Every time I see another form to fill out about background checks or racial questions my eyes just roll back in my head and I want to just disappear. That same feeling I get when the hubby says we have to go grocery shopping. (Luckily it annoys him so he's stopped asking and just goes by himself...ka-ching!) I just want to get past all of this and start worrying about actual baby stuff. Worry about getting a call and meeting the birth mom. I'm not thinking about any of that right now because it's not a current possibility. Maybe I'll change my mind later, but right now, I can't wait to be worried...