Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Adoption Bans are Coming Next

You may want to skip this one if you're easily offended it's not one of my typical posts. No really. You might want to. Skip it.

Last night, the righteous victory for Barack Obama not withstanding, equality took the back seat of the bus. Marriage bans in Florida, Arizona, and California all passed. Most disturbingly, a ban on adopting children by gays was passed in Arkansas:

Voters passed a measure banning unmarried couples living together from serving as adoptive or foster parents...The adoption and foster ban, aimed primarily at keeping gays from becoming foster or adoptive parents, received support from nearly 57 percent of voters in unofficial and incomplete returns...The foster measure's sponsor, the Arkansas Family Council, painted its proposal as a battle against a "gay agenda." The conservative group successfully pushed for an amendment banning same-sex marriage four years ago..."I think the voters realized that this was about child welfare, rather than the rights of adults," said Jerry Cox, the council's president.

My Spidey sense is tingling on this one. They've almost exhausted the marriage trick throughout the states. They need something else, especially since the right was handed such a crushing defeat last night. In order to get their voters to the polls in the next few elections, they're going to need something for motivation. This could be it. Notice how they go to the welfare of the child right away. No home study info, no social worker input. See here's the formula. First ban gay marriage. (Sorry, I should really call it what it is, Equal Marriage). Once that's done, start enacting laws that apply to married couples only. It's that easy. You can get around the gay thing entirely and never even bring it up. In the case of Arkansas open bigotry and hurtful "thinking" (for rednecks I put that in quotes) is celebrated, so they actually went out of their way to make sure the gay American citizens living there knew it was aimed at them. This is done to help demoralize them and make them realize they are abnormal and should be ashamed. See if you weren't freaks, maybe we'd protect your constitutional rights to "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness". So faggots, it's your own damn fault. What's next? Hey how about banning gays from being teachers? You know, for the welfare of the child. They're already unqualified to be Cub Scout Leaders. We could legislate gays out of the health care business because they spread germs. Maybe we should ban unmarried couples living together from having a dog because they might want to, you know, marry it.

Why is it that any group with "Family" in the name is always against leaving people alone to create and live in their own families? Who appointed them to speak for all families anyway? Oh right, religion. How could I forget.

OK you know what? I was going to stop here because this blog is about our journey to adoption but the more I think about this as I proof read what I just wrote, I can't. My stomach is knotted up and I'm sorry I've just had about enough. I'm really mad. How dare they, in the name of religion, decide who is fit to raise a child and who isn't? Excuse me, but if you live in Arkansas in some backwoods shack you don't get to decide on the "welfare of children" with your tenth grade home schooled educations. This bull shit starts with a small group of religious assholes in places like this who find a few presentable people to dress it up and push it on the rest of us. I'm sick and tired of being told "the bible said" or "god spoke to me" are valid reasons to enact law in this country. Name me one law pushed by religion that actually gives rights to people. There isn't one. They're all designed to take rights away and get us closer to bible rule. The poor are loved by Jesus right? Not by religion. Try and send some tax cuts the way of the poor so they can actually scrape out a living and the wingnuts are marching in the streets with torches screaming "Socialism!". Heal the sick? Sorry, no. That might mean we need to do stem cell research, so better to have a long painful death from cancer or some other terrible illness then actually help the people who have families get better. This is exactly why, unless it's out of respect for a family member getting married or some such, I will never set foot in any church again. I will never donate a single cent to any charity run by religion. I refuse to vote for any measure, no matter how good for society as a whole, that is crafted with a religious bent.

And they better keep their grubby hands off my children.


Kathryn said...

I'm sorry for the frustration. I really get it. However, I will say that I disagree with you about belonging to a church. I absolutely LOVE our church, I was raised in the church (Lutheran, ELCA) and I, as far as I know, have never been shunned by the church. I do know, also, that I am unique and lucky. My parents both went to school to be ministers, my mother is both a minister and a PFLAG member. She regularly debates and fights for my rights within in the church (sometimes to an embarrassing point!)...
I guess that I say this because I do love my church so much and I can't wait until we have a child to raise in a church that says that love is important, that everyone is a valued child of God and that we are welcome as a family. I wish that you had a similar experience, but I totally understand your feelings and that you haven't had the same experience. It makes me sad that other people have been left out of such a wonderful experience and it makes me angry that people want to keep others from experiencing love of any kind.

What a crazy day. I so wish that I could just be ecstatic and happy like others, but I, like you, continue to think of what we've lost today.

Rik Miller said...

Unfortunately, the experience you grew up in while definitely a fantastic one, is more the exception than the rule. I understand Bobby's feelings as I grew up in the Catholic Church. I was a good Catholic boy who went to mass regularly on Sundays. I attended Catechism, i received the sacraments of Baptism, Penance, and Communion.. but unfortunately the Catholic Church preaches intolerance when it comes to gays.. I admit, I'm a bit jealous of the experience you had growing up with your church.. But what helps me sleep at night, is that not everyone is intolerant.. attitudes are slowly changing.. my hope is for full equality in my lifetime.. but if not in mine, then hopefully during Bobby's child's time. That day shall come.

Kathryn said...

That is my hope too!

Michelle said...

Im sorry too. I dont get it. I dont get why people seriously think that the welfare of a child wouldnt be just as great in a "gay" parented home, but its ok for teenagers to go get pregnant and legally keep their baby, no questions asked. Like that welfare of that child would be any better in that home?? I hope this all changes. You would think in today's world it would.

welcome2ourworld said...

I agree with Michelle...

jilliebean said...

I understand and completely agree with your frustration over these people who are trying to tell us how to live and whether we qualify to raise children or not. I think it's absurd and ridiculous!

However, I don't agree with your comment about never setting foot in another church again. Unfortunately, churches are going to go against us, not be for us, etc, because that is the way it's always been taught. There are not many churches who are going to say that it's okay to be gay. But we go there for God, not for the people. The people make it hard sometimes to be there, but unless you are kicked out (which is another whole blog subject), you go to praise and worship your God.

If we allow Christians who think they know what they are talking about to hurt us or piss us off with the crap that spews out of their mouths, then they have won! It is a sad truth that the majority of the U.S. agrees with what they are saying or we'd all be allowed to be married and have babies or adopt babies.

When are we going to get to the point to where we say SCREW YOU!?!?!

I am a child of God. I have a relationship with Him. I don't care who agrees or disagrees with that. I will not allow a straight person to tell me I'm going to hell without "I'll see you there" following close behind it. If they truly believe that I'm going to hell then they need to believe they will be there too because they are judging me. They say the Bible says homosexuality is a sin. The Bible also says, JUDGE NOT LEST YE BE JUDGED. I don't care what Christians say. I'm going to church. They are not going to spew their filth and run me off. They will not win.

So many people in America have so many negative things to say about us that if we allow them to get to us we'll be at a point to where we can't even leave our houses.


Go to church!!!! Worship your God!!! Teach your children that equality REALLY means equality. Teach your children how others interpret the Bible and then teach your children how YOU interpret the Bible. Teach them that it's okay that others don't agree with lots of things, but that we aren't going to run from that. Teach them that it's okay to stand behind what you believe.

We have the ability to turn things around. It might start with one person. That person may be your child. But let me tell you that it is an amazing thing when you hear your child tell someone else that they are not going to talk about your parents like that. Or when you hear your child tell someone that love is love, no matter who the recipient is.

One person at a time...

jilliebean said...

Sorry that was so long!

Bobby said...

Jillie...I love the last paragraph of your post!

The part about not stepping foot in church is OK with me...I'm not exactly what you'd call a full time believer anyway. But that might be another post, or an entirely new blog!

Elspeth said...

I was really upset to hear about the reversal of the decision in California. I had been hoping that it would pass a little like in Canada where a series of elections put the repeal of the bill on the backburner until people stopped being outraged. Now even our Conservative Prime Minister won't touch it.

What is impressive to me, is that friends (even the really CHRISTIAN ones) who were previously opposed to the concept have relaxed. It may be a harder battle for the States, but once the laws are argued and changed enough times, I'm sure people will come to their senses.

Two Moms With A Plan said...

I hope the gay adoption ban doesn't go to Az. It's already here in Florida and is currently being fought. Now that I'm pregnant, I hope the ban is uplifted and gays will be allowed to adopt.

As for religion. My father is a pastor of the baptist church. When I came out to him 5 years of silence went by before any type of communication was made. Once we started communicating, he started preaching. I had to arm myself with what the bible really says so I went to this website - I highly recommend the website to anyone who has to deal with religious bigots everyday! Today my father and I have a very good relationship. He finally realizes that I'm happy and that's all that matters, now matter who I'm with. Change does happen. My dad is the most stubborn man alive and he was able to change. Yes we can!

Roxymommy said...

I am so completley with you on this one.