Friday, April 3, 2009

Those Three Daddies

This is what you look like when you spent all morning dock diving, swimming, playing ball and Frisbee, and "chasing tail" at Cosmo Park. It's five hours later and they've barely moved. Yay exercise!

We've talked a lot, and other open adoption blogs have talked a lot, about Birth Mothers. But what about da baby daddy? Birth Fathers are part of the story too. I'll talk about our daughter to be's Birth Father here a little bit. At the moment, he is out of the picture and Lucy does not know where he is. The IAC has investigated all of the addresses she has given them, but no luck. Therefore, he will not be able to sign relinquishment papers giving up his parental rights. Even if he did respond, (in California anyway) he'd still have to meet with the IAC to sign, which is unlikely to happen. Since the agency has worked with Lucy to do their due diligence on locating him and they cannot, his rights will be terminated in court as "failure to locate". Of course we have to hire a lawyer to do this, but it has to be done. I wish it didn't; I wish he could participate in the process like Lucy, and see what the future holds for his unborn daughter. But I guess if he doesn't care enough to stick around to help her mother give birth or be a supportive parent, well, that says a lot. My gut tells me he's aware of what's happening and just doesn't want to deal with it, so no response is his method of choice. Still, wouldn't it be nice to meet the people who are going to raise your daughter as their own?


Michelle said...

Sorry you have to deal with an 'unwilling to be a part of birth father'. Maybe he is not strong enough to deal with the fact so he is in hiding. Maybe as Finster gets older he will come around. We got lucky with our birth father. These days, he is more in touch than our birth mother.

birthmothertalks said...

I have a lot of unresolved grief and guilt over my daughter's birth father. Without telling a story here, I feel like just maybe I judged him wrong. I am not sure if I gave him a chance to be a father. I have a lot of unanswered questions about the past. I hope everyone gets the answers they need.

Michael said...

At least you don't have to worry about more than one b-daddy!

I am sure all will work out fine.