You're In Charge Of It

As I was taking this picture, I was thinking about the smile on her face.  I thought about the comments people make to Gregg and I, about what a lucky little girl she is.  I'm not sure why but that's what people say when they don't know anything about our family and how it came to be.  As I usually tell them, no, we're the lucky ones, because we were chosen to be her Daddy and her Papa, and to love and take care of her.  As a parent knows, seeing that smile makes you smile, and gives you that fluttery feeling in your gut that swells up and lights up your face with pride.  I started to think about the responsibility of raising a child--schooling, love, learning about the world, and so on.  I think though, the most important thing a child will take with them after they're grown, is the memory of childhood itself.  And yeah, you're in charge of that too.

I'm lucky.  I fall into nostalgia on a regular basis thinking about growing up.  My parents are still married, and my family is still intact.  My parents weren't rich by any means, but securely middle class.  With five kids, there was always a juggling act with finances I'm sure, but we weren't made aware of that.  There were always great Christmases, summers spent camping and going to the beach, time playing with our cousins, and lots of love.  The memory of childhood is powerful, and it's why I get teary eyed every time Frosty melts no matter how hard I tell my adult self snowmen can't come to life.  It's why I know all the really important breaking news is announced by a frog in a trench coat, and not some partisan hack.  Breaking the no tag backs rule gets you ostracized from the group, if only for a few minutes, and architectural wonders can be created with a cardboard box and some broken crayons. 

I know I'm lucky, because there are people I know who's childhood memories aren't that great.  I want Sabrina to look back on these years with fondness as I do.  So far I'm sure we're on the right track.  But we've got a lot to teach her.  I'm listing my priorities below.  Leave a comment and tell me what you still need to teach your kids so they have great childhood memories as well.

Things Sabrina Needs To Know:

• The secret identities of all the Super Heroes, and that no matter what anyone says talking to fish isn't really a useful super power (I'm looking at you Aquaman!).
• How to make twirly whirlies out of maple tree seeds, even if they are few and far between in Arizona.
• Picking out the best stick for roasting marshmallows.
• Blanket fort building.
• Even if he yells, it's still totally worth it to sneak up on Papa and drop an ice cube down his pants.
• Hand stands in the pool.
• Watching the (original) Star Wars movies with Daddy and Papa for the first time is important, even the one about the army of hamsters.
• The President of the United States is an important man no matter what grown ups say.  Yeah even the last one.
• Frogs aren't gross until you're over the age of 10.
• How to throw a Frisbee and ride a bike.
• Digging a large hole in the back yard for no reason at all always seems like a good idea at the time, until your parents find out.
• Saying good bye to Ripley and Chase one day is going to be very hard, but Daddy and Papa will do their best to get you through it. 
• Even if your prom date looks like Tyson Beckford or Brad Pitt, your fathers aren't going to like him.  Stare at him yes, like him, no.
• Be awesome and show your personality in everything you do, no matter how strange it might seem, and your fathers will be there for you.

So tell me, what will you do for your kids to make sure their childhood memories are the best they can be?

Tortoise Farmer

When World's Collide

Based on today's mail delivery, we can assume the mail man knows we're gay parents...

Happy weekend!

Vote for Pedro

OK I've been wrestling with this for over a week now, but I've finally been convinced to appeal to the masses for votes.  I'm not sure who or why I was nominated, but somehow Those Two Daddies ended up in contention for one of the best LBGT Family blogs on the net.  So not unlike Sanjaya, I'm shamelessly begging for votes.  Click on the badge to the left to vote for my blog.  You can do it each day but only until May 13th.  Grassy-ass!

Groundhog Day

D.J. #1: Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today.
D.J. #2: It's coooold out there every day. What is this, Miami Beach?
--The Opening Radio Dialogue to "Groundhog Day".

And so we soldier on through the home study.  Finger prints, letters of reference, home visits, financial documentation, etc. etc.  Today we had our home visit and although we cleaned all weekend, it was sit down at the dining room table with coffee and danish while we chatted about how different everything is now that we are parents.  This is the sixth or seventh time we've talked to our social worker Windsor (she did our last home study and post placement visits), so it was all very relaxed and very familiar.  She even condensed our study down from two visits to just one.  (Well one visit with two payments!)  We've done all this before, know the players, and the process hasn't changed, so it's almost kind of a redo.  It's nice to have something that's somewhat relaxed in the otherwise stressful time that is adoption prep. 

I also called our main agency, the IAC, and told them we're ready to get the ball rolling on "re-upping" with them.  We know the ropes there too, so we hope to be ready, approved, and on the books by summer's end.  Right now the only difficult part is, well, paying for it.  Luckily we don't have to pay the entire thing up front, but handing over thousands of dollars a month for the next six months or so isn't going to be exactly child's play.  I'm sure we'll figure it out...Powerball anyone?

To prove we're Dr. Spock approved parents, I submit the following certificate.  Being voted class clown at 2 years old might be cute, but I'm not sure what the future holds on that one...we may end up regretting it!

2nd Time Around

Well here we go again.  We've started our home study for the second adoption.  Last week we went down to the local adoption agency and had our finger prints taken for the background checks, and Monday will be our home visit from our social worker.  We have the same person as last time, a very nice lady named Windsor, who you'll remember I did compare to a short Mrs. Doubtfire, but in the nicest way possible!  Gregg spoke with her on the phone the other day and she said she'll only need one visit.  I'm hoping she walks in, finds that the baby is still alive and doesn't live in a rabbit hutch, then tells us the home study is approved and it's off to the races.  Unfortunately, the reality is that after the visit we'll still need to file references (again), get medical clearances, wait for her report to be cleared by the court, and so on.  I am hoping the final approval takes three months or less.  Last time was around four, but now that we know the ropes I'm hoping to push the envelope.  The faster we get this part done, the closer we are to moving the entire process along.  We have not contacted our actual agency, the Independent Adoption Center, just yet to let them know we want to go for another round.  We'll do that sometime next week I suppose.  We're not looking forward to the mountain of paperwork and letter packet designing that is going to entail, but it's a necessary evil.

On a side note, Sabrina's wardrobe creation notwithstanding, we'll need to pick her out a better outfit then the one she put on herself.  It's fine if this was a Cindy Lauper concert, but I think we'll go for something a little more conservative.  (Did I just say that?  Errrr...)

The Laurie Berkner Interview

As I've posted before, there is one thing that makes toddlers drop whatever they're doing and pay attention.  What is this magical charm you ask?  Why, it's the Laurie Berkner Band of course!  If you're a parent, Laurie and her band need no introduction.  If you're on the road to becoming one, well, you better listen up.  You can either listen to "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" ad infinitem until you wish global warming would destroy the planet faster so you don't have to hear it again, or you can get into the "Kindie Rock" scene and Laurie's band for music that you'll claim is on your iPod for the kids but you (not so) secretly listen to on your own.  As Laurie's website states,

 "If you think the Beatles made a splash in '63, wail 'till you see the mayhem caused by this woman." - Good Morning America

Sabrina worships her, dancing to the music and pushing every button on my iPod to make it repeat.  She's made up her own routines to songs such as The Goldfish, Five Days Old, and My Family.  The other parents I've heard from report similar behavior.  I admit, Gregg and I dance with her too (although we do a mean version of Beyonce's Single Ladies as well, don't get me wrong!).  So I decided to reach out and find out where all this "Kindie" stuff as it's called came from.  And who better to ask then the Queen of Kindie herself, Miss Laurie Berkner?  Laurie was kind enough to do an interview for Those Two Daddies blog, so get to know her a little below...

The Laurie Berkner Interview:

Bobby:
Thank you so much for taking the time to do this for me!  I really appreciate it.  So tell me, at what age do you remember first being interested in music? When did you decide it was something you wanted to do as your career?

Laurie Berkner:
At age two and a half I loved to sing and listen to music. I was about 10 when I realized I wanted to do it for a career – I realized not only did I like to sing, but people seemed to like to listen to me. When I graduated from college I thought no one would pay me to be a musician - luckily that turned out not to be true.


Bobby:
Who are your musical role models?


Laurie:
When I was a kid it was Julie Andrews for singing and acting. I felt so inspired by seeing the musicals she was in. I have a ton of respect for Paul Simon and I think he’s an amazing musician as well as poet and composer. I find his songs sprinkled throughout my life – I want to sing them as part of my day a lot. I also love Neil Young, Joni Mitchell and Joan Armatrading.


Bobby:
We're definitely on the same page there!  Music seems so natural for you.  What was the first instrument you learned to play, and how many do you play now, besides guitar of course!


Laurie:
I remember that in school, at about age 6 we all played recorder, but the first instrument I took lessons on was the piano. I started when I was 7 and continued my lessons for about 8 years. I also learned clarinet and violin, playing in school band and orchestra. I always wish I’d learned to play drums.


Bobby:
I think the recorder is a rite of passage on the East coast!  I know you started out in an adult band. How did you make the decision to begin playing music for children?


Laurie:
I had a job as a preschool music specialist and found that I was both feeling more creative and getting lots of great feedback from writing music for kids. I felt more satisfied than playing in the “adult” bands, so eventually I switched over.


Bobby:
Was making the transition from adult band to the children’s set full time hard to do, and how did you realize that was where you wanted to be?


Laurie:
It wasn’t hard. I remember the gig that made me want to switch fully to just playing kids’ music. I was feeling really sick and had gone to Long Island to play a late night show. Then I had to get up really early to play for a kids birthday party the next morning. Even though I felt lousy, I enjoyed myself at the party, whereas at the show the night before I remembered wishing that I didn’t have to be there. I realized I didn’t want to switch back and forth anymore. Something else that really made it clear to me was when I played at the birthday party, I played music I wrote myself that the kids and parents were requesting and loving. And all the kids were dancing. This was so different from the the night before, when I was trying to figure out what cover songs the mostly apathetic audience wanted to hear.


Bobby:
I'm not surprised to hear that parents were requesting songs as well as kids.  I hear from a lot of parents, and all of them (including myself) really enjoy listening to your work. Our children are big fans as well. Why do you think your music style appeals to adults and children alike? Most music seems to fall into one or the other category.


Laurie:
I try to come from my own feelings and memories when I write, both in the lyrics and the music. I think that helps me to combine both the child and adult sides of myself, and hopefully appeal to other kids and adults. I also try to write music that I want to listen to myself – repeatedly!


Bobby:
With kids, "repeatedly" is the magic word!  Where do you find inspiration for your music?


Laurie:
Aside from my own memories of being a kid, I listen a lot to children around me. I did that a lot when I was in school working directly with kids, and now I do it more sitting on the bus or at playdates with my daughter and her friends. Also, If I find something cool I think, “Did I think it was cool as a kid too?” If I did, then it’s something to consider writing about.


Bobby:
We first discovered you on Nick Jr, on Jack’s Big Music Show. How did you become part of that show, and is it difficult working with puppets? I think I’d keep looking at the puppeteers!


Laurie:
I was asked to make a video for the pilot because they knew it was going to be a music show. Originally we were only slated to be in a few episodes, but the response was so positive during the testing period they asked us to be regulars. Most of the videos were filmed completely separately from the show (we were in NYC and the puppets were in Chicago). The few times I was on set I didn’t really see the puppeteers;, they were below me. What was actually most difficult was that because of camera angles I wasn’t even supposed to look at the puppets. I had to pretend in order for it to look realistic. It was quite difficult looking at nothing.


Bobby:
Tell us about My Family. As adoptive parents, we find a lot of meaning in the lyrics. Is there a story behind how you wrote it?


Laurie:
Nick Jr. asked me to write a song with the theme “family” and I realized that I have a lot of strong feelings about what family actually means. To me personally, it’s not just the people that you’re born to and I wanted to find a way to express that, that love is truly what makes a family. I was also very aware that every family is different, and I wanted to write a song that would hopefully represent all families, no matter what they look like.


Bobby:
The video for My Family is fun. Our daughter Sabrina dances along to it just like the kids on TV. Where did you find the families for the video?


Laurie:
I didn’t actually, that was all Nick Jr.


Bobby:
One of the things I noticed is the inclusion of families with same sex parents. For families like ours, it’s nice to see them represented and joining in with the other families in the video who are also quite diverse. Since this video airs on a channel for young children, did you get any push back for including them? There are always some segments of society who are not happy


Laurie:
We did get some emails and calls, but not too many. I was glad about that because it really made me feel angry that people felt righteous about who they thought should be allowed to be on a video. . . a video about FAMILIES! I mean, who has the right to decide what other people’s families should look like?


Bobby:
You do a lot of charity work. What charities are near and dear to your heart?


Oy, the list is long. I usually choose to do a lot for children-centered charities through my music, and I particularly love having worked with CHOP (the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia) and meeting some of the amazing kids who have been treated there. There are also a few groups that I always find myself donating to personally that I don’t talk about as much. They are: Heiffer International (they give animals and training to families in order to provide better nutrition and ways of generating sustainable income), FINCA (which microfinances low-income entrepreneurs in countries all over the world), The WCS (Wildlife Conservation Society which saves wild places and animals all over the globe as well as running the NYC Zoos and Aquarium) and two NYC based charities, NYRP (The New York Restoration Project, founded by Bette Midler rebuilds public spaces and parks in NYC that have deteriorated from years of neglect) and Riverkeeper (New York’s “clean water advocate”, they are also dedicated to protecting the Hudson River).


Bobby:
My toddler stops dead in her tracks whenever she hears your music. What is it like having Laurie Berkner for your mom?


Laurie:
You’d have to ask my daughter that one!


Bobby:
What’s next for you and your band?


Laurie:
Our new DVD, “Party Day!” will be released in July. It’s going to be packaged with a bonus CD that has a new, acoustic version of the “My Family” song.


Bobby:
What is your favorite Laurie Berkner song?


Laurie:
Hmm, it always seems to be the latest song I’ve written. Right now it’s “Party Day,” the title track for our new DVD - so you’ll have to buy it and find out what it sounds like! 


Bobby:
I’ll end with the toughest question: Elmo or Barney, and do you know either of them?


Laurie:
Elmo. I can’t say that we hang. He’s never invited me to tea. I can talk like Elmo, by the way. Ask me to do an impression sometime.


Bobby:
Thank you so much Laurie!


*************************************************************************
I know I'll be first in line (OK at amazon.com) for Party Day when it comes out!  Please leave a comment below and tell me what you think of the interview, and if you're a Laurie fan.  Trust me, listen to her once or catch a video on Nick Jr. and you'll be hooked.  Now, where is my iPod...?

A Weekend of 2's

We had two important milestones this weekend, both having to do with, well, two.

Those of you who have been with me for a while may remember a post from April 18, 2009. The day our lives changed forever, the day our sweet Sabrina was born. She officially turned two today, Saturday's party not withstanding, which means we've woken up for 730 days in a row believing today was the day we loved her the most and being wrong when we in fact somehow loved her more the next day, as impossible as that seems. She really did have a blast over these last three days, and enjoyed every minute of it. From the party on Saturday, to playing with all the new toys Sunday, and spending today riding the train at the Railroad Park with Daddy, she was laughing the whole way through. (The last few "one parent" days have been "Papa Days" as Gregg took off on times when I was out of town for work. So today I got to have a "Daddy Day" of my own!) 

Our other "two" milestone is that after the Railroad Park and a quick visit to Grandma's house, I met Gregg downtown at the adoption agency office to get fingerprinted and start the ball rolling on our home study for adoption number two.  Gregg has always wanted two children, while I had to come to terms with it.  I was happy in the "one and done" club.  But I know in the end, that's what's best for Sabrina and for our family.  Still, I come to this decision with mixed emotions.

Honestly, when Project Baby started back in March of 2008, as much as I wanted a child I thought we were about to give up a lot of money, a lot of time, and a lot of emotions, and in the end remain childless.  Call me pessimistic, but it kept nagging at me that "You're gay, this is Arizona, they're not going to allow you to have a child".  Of course, I had not yet been introduced to the Gay Parent "scene" at that point.  The journey has been fantastic, and I consider myself sort of an advocate for adoption in general and same sex parenting specifically.  Then the wonderful day two years ago when Sabrina came into the world.

That day, as joyous as it was, came as a bittersweet time.  For as in all adoptions, the happiness we gained as our family grew came at the cost of grief as a mother went home without her child.  Sometimes I still get stuck on that thought.  I know that one sentence is not really a fair statement as it has volumes of thought, emotion, and decision making propping it up.  The feelings of a mother considering what to do; weighing her options, being fair to her other children, loving her unborn baby.  Investigating avenues, reaching out and trusting strangers--almost blindly.  And finally--going home, leaving the hospital, but not with the child she carried for nine months.  If you've not experienced that day, signing a paper and becoming a parent, it teeters between pure joy and extreme sadness.  It affected me deeply.

We pushed gently on a mother who decided on no contact, happily reaching a point in the first few days where picture exchanges were permitted, and working up to a reunion visit ten months later when we were back in California to finalize the adoption in court.  Our email contact is sporadic; mostly me sending pictures back there, but I have to respect the comfort level.  It's possible there may be a trip out here to Arizona over the summer, so I'm hoping for that but have decided to stop pushing it.  (I noticed myself mentioning it in almost all of my emails.)

I've also become aware of an anti adoption movement on the Internet, made up of mostly (from what I can tell) people who were either adopted years ago before open adoption became the norm or birth mothers who were coerced back in those times to give up their babies due to societal or familial pressures.  This blog was targeted by those individuals who left hateful comments towards me and my family as profiting over the deeply personal loss of birth mothers by adult adoptees bitter about their circumstances.  I realized we were talking about circumstances from two different worlds, but I read some of those blogs, and it's hard not to be affected by what they say, even as I know their situations are so different from ours.

So I'm letting myself, carefully, allow the joy of another baby creep into my psyche.  I know that without a personal connection and trust of a future birth mother I will not be able to allow myself to feel comfortable about a match with her.  The good thing is Gregg and I both want to find someone as great as Sabrina's birth mom, so I know unless the understanding is there between the three of us we'll just keep searching.  I tend to have thick skin when it comes to myself, but get hung up thinking about the pain of others.  I'll have to remember why we're all doing what we're doing and making the decisions we're making as we move through the process.  When we make the connection that it's really about the child, I'll know it's right.

In the future I'll look deep into a newborn baby's eyes, know it's right and think, if this is so great for all involved, why did this kid just throw up all over my shoes?

Hamming it up with my new water and sand table from Grandpa and Grandma

A Party for Birthday #2

Happy Birthday From Elmo!

We celebrated Sabrina's 2nd birthday on Saturday with a party in the park.  Elmo, by far her favorite character, dominated the scene with his cakes, balloons, and accessories.  We had some good April in Arizona weather, sunny and high 80 degree temps.  Everyone had a great time.  I'm sure you've been to a two year old's birthday, so I won't bore you with details, just pictures.  Sabrina's actual birthday is Monday, so we're playing hooky from work and daycare and headed to the railroad park, after which we have our first meeting at the adoption agency to kick off our home study for Project Baby--The Sequel.  Details on that to come.  For now, it's a party!

Personal Sized Elmo

Take That Candles!

Now You're This Many Sabrina

Elmo, You're Delicious!

Morning Surprise



Arizona Spring Surprise

While a good portion of the country is still encased in ice, April is spring time in Arizona and the signs are all around...

Flowers on the front yard hesperaloe

Cactus are starting to bloom

Tomatoes are starting to come in

Whatever this is has buds on it

Young men's fancy turns to babies once again

Yes, that picture is true.  Can you believe it?  Our exciting news is that we may soon have fresh tomatoes!

Also, we're starting the process to adopt our second child...

Adoption Denial Brought to You by the Letter Tea

Arizona is the home of Tea Party 'Merican Values.  We do things right.  For example, one of the first acts our legislature took on after the tragic shooting of Gabrielle Giffords in Tucson was to make the Colt revolver the official state gun.  We also allow them in bars and at the state capitol, and as of today allow them on campus (SB1467) and inside all public areas such as sports arenas.  Luckily, everyone who has one concealed on their person is well trained...oh wait, actually we eliminated permits and training, so any 'Merican can carry them around.  Soon, a new bill will outlaw destroying guns confiscated by police.  Because melting down a gun is like gassing a puppy.  I suppose we'll put them up for adoption.*

Now anyone can adopt a gun.  Children, well not so much.  Our state senate just passed SB 1188, the "Marital Preference Law".  It now heads to the house.  This bill mandates that adoption agencies and the state give preference to married couples when adopting from the foster system.  So if you're single you go to the end of the line.  Now to our Tea Partying legislature, "single" is really code for...wait for it...gay.  Since we eliminated divorce and bestowed marital bliss and eternal happiness on our married population by outlawing gay marriage this bill will stand in the way of gay couples seeking to adopt from the state.  I know, that's a pretty big charge, saying they are secretly trying to stop same sex parenting.  So let's take a look at the mind of a Teabagger...

SB1188 was introduced and is sponsored by State Senator Linda Grey, R (big surprise there) District 10.  Now Sen. Grey's website sports a link to the Center for Arizona Policy, a "Protect the Family" group that sponsors every anti gay bill in the state.  Well they don't really "Protect" all families, certainly ours is up for dismissal.  The families of straight white Christians (really, who else lives in Arizona?) specifically.  They have a very loving website all children should visit, with topics on what the bible says about homosexuality and how gay marriage is destroying 'Merica.  They have a policy doc on this bill and all the research they cite is from a Dr. Bradford Wilcox.  Now who is he?  Obviously some expert who has done extensive and objective research...ah not quite.  Dr. Wilcox is the director of the National Marriage Project, a religious organization aimed at banning gay marriage.  He is the only person they use as a reference for their policy paper.  They completely ignore all other research on the matter, and make false claims such as:

• Social science proves children do best when raised by a married mother and father.  False.  Years of study by all reputable groups show there is no difference between children raised by gay couples versus straight couples, and marriage certainly is not the deciding factor. 
• SB1188's language ensures that all factors indicate placement with a married couple is in the child's best interests.  False.  Just because the bill says that doesn't mean it's true.  If that's the case my husband and daughter are also 3/5's of a person.
• Adoption is designed to come as close as possible to natural parenting.  OK all adoptive parents...how true is that?  Search almost any blog on my reading list and tell me how close you come to that.

Don't get me wrong, if you're straight and single I'm sure there's something wrong with you too.  After all, this state is crawling with redneck trailer owners (some without meth labs) willing to make an honest woman out of you.  All you need to do is get hitched.

Senator Grey states on her website,

I BELIEVE in equal rights, equal justice and equal opportunity for all, regardless of race, creed, sex, age or disability.

Maybe.  For now, I'm going to sabotage my neighbor's marriages by tucking in my daughter and kissing my husband good night.

*For the record, I support the rights of qualified Americans to own guns, and am a responsible gun owner myself.

Guitar Hero

This weekend seems to have been guitar weekend for us in the sense that we encountered them wherever we went.  That's fine for Sabrina as the guitar seems like it's becoming one of her favorite instruments.  Well besides slamming plastic bowls on the floor to make the loudest noises possible.  I like to tell myself that toddlers are attracted to music naturally, although it could just be that since they don't sit still and are basically 30" tall over caffeinated jumping beans we add background music and call it dancing.  Let's face it, if you're constantly babbling, jumping all over the place, laughing uncontrollably, and making a gigantic mess while demanding to be the center of attention, you're either a toddler or Charlie Sheen.  Music just pulls it all together.  And the strumming of an acoustic guitar seems to be her favorite.  Probably because she's a big Laurie Berkner Band fan, and loves those videos.

I didn't even know she could say "guitar" but it came out when we were at her cousin's first birthday party and there was a boy there that was playing one.  Seven years old and working on "Stairway to Heaven".  Not bad.  I know there are two camps on this, one who thinks that song is the ultimate ever written, and the other one (that I fall into) that feels it's played as a cruel irony in the elevator as you're descending into Hell.  Regardless, this kid was trying his best on it, and Sabrina kept pointing and saying "Guitar".  Well in between intermittently joining the herd of kids and running around like a pack of wild emus.

Out to dinner on Sunday at "our place", a cozy wine bistro near our home, the entertainment was again a woman who could play literally anything on acoustic guitar and make it sound like that's exactly what it was written for.  I was tempted to request some Lady Gaga, and something told me she could pull it off.  After dinner we sat and watched her for a bit.  Sabrina, not to be outdone by a professional musician, started doing a toddler version of "air guitar" by strumming her tummy along with the music.  The other diners loved that they now had a music and comedy act going at the same time.  The real chuckle came when she started pumping her hands in the air and "whoo whoo-ing" as she raised the roof.

Yep, I thought, I taught her that.  Smile.

Happy Birthday Papa!

"Happy..."

Today was Papa's birthday.  I think he had fun, even if we're all getting over colds.  That's why I have not been on here in the last week or so.  I'm not sure what I had (have?) but it kicked my butt.  Another gift from daycare, the germ festival of the century.

Even though I've been under the weather I've been working on a little project I think you may enjoy.  Fans of Laurie Berkner, stay tuned, I'll have something special for you in the next post or two.  For now, Happy Birthday Papa!



For Watching Masterpiece Theatre...

Geez Meathead get outta my chair huh?

Look at what we found in Target's gay parents section.  It's empty right now because Sabrina has a pretty bad cold so she's not in picture taking mode.  Maybe tomorrow.

But really, how gay is that?  Love it!

A Belated Valentine

Love you!

I know, I know--Valentine's Day was three days ago.  So the roses are a little wilted and the candy is--well the candy is gone.  We don't usually make a production out of Valentine's, but I did get an email informing me there was a package in shipping waiting for me.  When I got down there I saw a pile of boxes from ProFlowers.  Looking at the labels, there were a bunch for the girls in the office and the rest were for the gay guys.  What's the matter straight men, don't you rate roses?  Well maybe they got NASCAR tickets or a pass from their wives to not have to watch Glee this week, or whatever it is straight guys like.  I have to admit struggling to keep the smugness hidden when I was filling the flower vase with water in the galley area and one of the women (who didn't get an email telling her she had a package in shipping) remarked "I guess this means you got flowers?"  That's right lady.  Bitter, party of one, your table is ready...

This year we sent Valentines to Sabrina's birth sisters in California.  My sister made some very cute heart hair bows for Sabrina, so I asked for a set for each of the sisters.  The girls each wore their bows on Valentine's Day so they shared a little connection.  Sabrina got a very nice card in the mail thanking her for the bows.

While we don't see each other a whole lot, we email pictures every few months or so. Gregg and I feel it's important to foster that relationship with the birth family.  Keeping that connection is what open adoption is all about.  I know it makes her birth mother happy to see how Sabrina is growing and developing her personality.  Some people think that it would be hard for a woman who placed her baby for adoption to be reminded of that with pictures and visits.  On the contrary, that birth mother placed for a reason; most likely to help the child have a happy and successful life.  Seeing that happiness shine through in pictures and in occasional visits validates that decision, and at least for Sabrina's birth mom, brings her some peace and makes her loss (as that is what placing a child is, a loss that brings a sense of grief) easier to bear.

We're ever grateful to her for growing our family.  Valentine's Day can be full of saccharin sentiments, but this was a chance to give it some real meaning.

Oh and to answer your question, yes the flowers were from Gregg and Sabrina.  Oh well, I guess the ones from Mario Lopez must have gotten delayed in the mail.  I'm sure they'll be here soon...

Eat Your Heart Out Beyonce!

Cher, you've been replaced.  My iPod now sports songs by the Laurie Berkner Band.

We are big fans of Laurie Berkner.  Her music is kind of acoustic/hippie/folksy, the kind of stuff I remember from growing up on Long Island in the 70's.  It's very catchy, and Sabrina loves it too.  You may have seen some of her videos on Nick Jr.  I like that she showcases real families in her videos, and you can sometimes spot the occasional two mom or two dad parents.

More than anything else, Sabrina loves dancing to Laurie Berkner.  She reminds me of my pre-parent self, except she's dancing in her pajamas in her bedroom, not with her shirt off at 2 AM on top of a speaker to acid house remixes.  Maybe that was a little TMI...

Anyway, Sabrina's rockin' version of "Family".  Enjoy!