Thursday, February 17, 2011

A Belated Valentine

Love you!

I know, I know--Valentine's Day was three days ago.  So the roses are a little wilted and the candy is--well the candy is gone.  We don't usually make a production out of Valentine's, but I did get an email informing me there was a package in shipping waiting for me.  When I got down there I saw a pile of boxes from ProFlowers.  Looking at the labels, there were a bunch for the girls in the office and the rest were for the gay guys.  What's the matter straight men, don't you rate roses?  Well maybe they got NASCAR tickets or a pass from their wives to not have to watch Glee this week, or whatever it is straight guys like.  I have to admit struggling to keep the smugness hidden when I was filling the flower vase with water in the galley area and one of the women (who didn't get an email telling her she had a package in shipping) remarked "I guess this means you got flowers?"  That's right lady.  Bitter, party of one, your table is ready...

This year we sent Valentines to Sabrina's birth sisters in California.  My sister made some very cute heart hair bows for Sabrina, so I asked for a set for each of the sisters.  The girls each wore their bows on Valentine's Day so they shared a little connection.  Sabrina got a very nice card in the mail thanking her for the bows.

While we don't see each other a whole lot, we email pictures every few months or so. Gregg and I feel it's important to foster that relationship with the birth family.  Keeping that connection is what open adoption is all about.  I know it makes her birth mother happy to see how Sabrina is growing and developing her personality.  Some people think that it would be hard for a woman who placed her baby for adoption to be reminded of that with pictures and visits.  On the contrary, that birth mother placed for a reason; most likely to help the child have a happy and successful life.  Seeing that happiness shine through in pictures and in occasional visits validates that decision, and at least for Sabrina's birth mom, brings her some peace and makes her loss (as that is what placing a child is, a loss that brings a sense of grief) easier to bear.

We're ever grateful to her for growing our family.  Valentine's Day can be full of saccharin sentiments, but this was a chance to give it some real meaning.

Oh and to answer your question, yes the flowers were from Gregg and Sabrina.  Oh well, I guess the ones from Mario Lopez must have gotten delayed in the mail.  I'm sure they'll be here soon...






7 comments:

Malea said...

Where's the picture of you and your roses dude?

bellygirls said...

I hope you had a great Valentine's Day and enjoyed those chocolates! Sabrina is looking so cute in that picture! I can't believe how fast she is growing. :)

mommy3 said...

Totally agree about "keeping the love alive". Open adoption helps us push our comfort zone JUST for our amazing children and then we like it, too.

mommy3 said...

Yep, agree with Malea. Want to see those roses!

Christina said...

It's refreshing to hear a Valentine's Day story like this one amidst all the ridiculousness of expensive gifts validating the measure of the giver's love or the recipient's existence. Way to go!

Mike and Tony said...

I love this pic of your daughter! She's adorable! I also love those moments of jealousy (theirs not mine) when Tony sends me flowers at work.

Nicole said...

I just came across your blog and love your witty sense of humor!

I have to say the thing I love the most though is this post because of your comments about your daughters' birth family and the great sense of the birth mother's feelings.

I feel that it is rare for an adoptive parent to have such a true grasp on how "we" as birth mothers feel.

Bravo to you!