In Which I Answer Your Questions

Now we talk about my favorite subject...Me!  Here are the answers to the questions you've asked me in a post last week...

Any tips for caring for African hair? We are in the process of adopting an African baby girl and feel helpless when it comes to the African hair!  OK let me say this...this can be a difficult subject to deal with in an interracial family.  Both  mothers-in-law have added their two cents to the hair topic.  The topic of hair has been one that has caused some tension in the family, and I'm not even comfortable going into that here.  I'm by no means an expert on this subject and am still learning.  Gregg obviously has experiance, but mostly with men's hair.  Suffice it to say you need to do your research.  A good ethnic salon, or even advice from African American friends will be helpful.  We like to use products from Carol's Daughter as we've found they are very easy on her hair. 

Do you ever make it down to the much cooler Tucson?  Sometimes.  We have friends down there.  We often meet up with them and then head down to Tubac for some great shopping.  I'll let you know next time we make a trip.

In view of the coming movie, Jacob or Edward?  Neither.  I'm a bit of a vampire nerd.  As a kid I actually read Fangoria magazine.  My parents wouldn't let me send them $12 for two actual vampire fangs.  It's Fangoria if anyone has authentic vampire relics it's them!  My tween neices love Twilight which is a red flag.  Apparently it's about Mormon vegetarian vampires or something?  We have the DVD, I haven't watched it.  For me, Eric from True Blood and the vampire Lestat.

You're a gay male couple with a baby daughter.  Do people ever ask things like "What are you going to do with a girl?  Will she know any women?  Are you worried about role models?"  For some reason, men seem to worry about this more then women do.  I'm working on a variant of my "I"m more man then you'll ever be and more woman then you'll ever have" response.  But no, we're not worried.  We're gay men but we don't live in a vaccuum.  There are plenty of female role models among our friends and family.  It's funny, no one ever asks this of a single mom with a young son do they?  I haven't been approached by a stranger on this one yet, but I'd tell them it's none of their business.  And I give them such a look.

Have you found it harder or easier than you thought to be two dads?  Not as hard as I thought.  And we're in very white, very Mormon, Mesa Arizona.  We've gotten a few tisk tisk looks, but for the most part things have been great.  In fact, sometimes I think our curiosity factor makes us more popular.  And we have a great support group of other gay families we've met via blogging and the local gay dad's group.

Blue pill or red pill?  I have no idea what this means.  So my answer is if blue, Sapphire gin martini, up and dirty, and if red, a quality Malbec.

Do you, Gregg, and Sabrina ever plan to make a trip to Florida?  Not right now.  Florida is so anti gay I'm not sure I'd want to spend much money down there.  But for the Belly girls I'd make an exception! 

Why or what made you decide to start blogging?  We were excited to start our journey to adoption and didn't know anyone who'd done it before.  I also wanted to chronicle our experience for our families to follow.  I'm so glad for all the new friends I made along the way.

When are you and Gregg going to get married?  Ah the million dollar question!  Right now the answer is, we don't.  I remember back in 1997 while living in West Hollywood I came back to AZ for Thanksgiving while Gregg moved into my apartment.  When I returned, he took me in his arms and asked me to marry him.  Ah romance!  We've since decided we won't do that until it's legal and recognized in all 50 something states.  Since we don't live in a state that recognizes it, we just don't see the point.  I think it would be more depressing than anything else.

How did you decide what your child would call you?  Good question, we had to think about it a bit, but we came back to Daddy (me) and Papa (Gregg).  Papa was kind of a nickname Gregg's friends called him back in the day, and well I just wanted Daddy.  I've heard of some couples who used the traditional names from their ethinc backgrounds and that's sort of interesting too.  There are lots of variations, but you just have to go with what works for you.  The names don't matter as much as the love anyway, right?

If you could only watch one TV show for the rest of your life what would it be? Same question, but what book? And again, but what movie?  Tough one.  I'll say TV is Dexter, book is Dracula, and movie is a tie between Jaws, Sunset Blvd, Casablanca, and The Godfather.

Are you on Facebook?  Yes.  LOL does that answer it?

Will you adopt again?  I was hoping no one would ask that!  If you asked Gregg you'd get an emphatic yes, while I say probably.  This wouldn't start until next year, finances willing.

Did you proceed open adoption or do you know the mother of your daughter?  Yes, our adoption is completely open and we have a relationship with her birth mother.  Lately I think she's backing off a little, but that's her choice.  You can read about our reunion in March here.

Thanks for the questions, this was fun.  Now I'm off to google up a back issue of Fangoria!