As Seen on Those Two Daddies

It's time to begin building my branded empire.  Ever since some idiot sold millions of you a bathrobe, told you to wear it backwards, and made a fortune (you know who you are...) I've been thinking of innovative ways to make money.  I mean, you bought the Snuggie and probably thought it was great until you hung it in the closet next to your bathrobe and said "Heeeeeeeey, wait a minute..." right?  Well that success can be duplicated!

Picture it...you're trying to give your baby a bowl of puffs on the floor while she plays with her toys, but every time she tries to get one she spills it all over the place.

Announcer:  "Ugh!  The tipping!  The spilling!  The pretending you didn't notice the dog hair when you put the puffs back in the bowl.  There's GOT to be a better way!"

Well there IS.  A bowl that's small enough for baby, but won't tip over, and won't slide around the floor.  Kid colored would help.  So Ladies, Gentlemen, and Those Who Have Yet To Make Up Their Minds, Those Two Daddies presents to you...Wonder Bowl.

Now OK I know what you're thinking.  You've seen this bowl somewhere before.  I got a huge lecture from someone that lives here about not feeding his daughter like some household pet or something like that.  He's not seeing the profit margin here.  Just put that out of your minds for a second and consider this.  Rubber base so no slidding around the floor.  Low center of gravity so it's tip proof.  Stainless steel cleans in a jiffy.  And it's pink.  So really, this was designed for a child right?  Stay with me for a minute.

Announcer:  "Wonder Bowl's tip proof design keeps even the messiest messes in the bowl.  No more back breaking cleanups.  No more looking the other way as the baby helps the dogs lick cheese off the floor.  Now how much would you pay?"

That's the beauty of it.  Thanks to Target's bargain section, I get the bowl for a buck, and sell it to you all for three easy payments of only $9.99 each.  I was practically drunk with self satisfaction at how smart I am over this idea and why didn't I think of it sooner.  (Maybe because I typically don't shop for the baby in the pet store?  Meh.)  So production is taken care of, and Wonder Bowl is currently being user tested by the QA Department:

Phase One is a success.  She's probably marvelling at the ease of removing the puffs from the patented space age non-stick surface.

Phase Two sees some puffs on the ground, most likely due to sloppiness of the tester and being distracted by that Elmo.  Notice the bowl has not skidded across the room.  So far it's performing as designed!

Damn it!  Who knew the bottom of the bowl was made out of some tasty material, probably some type of sugar based metal.  Or, perhaps the Wonder Bowl is a success after all, and this test failed due to user error.  Yes, that's it!  If she followed the instructions, which clearly state "Do not eat Wonder Bowl" the puffs would still be safe.  She's voided the warranty.  Seriously, who throws away the snacks and eats the bowl?  Ripley, Chase...clean up in aisle one!