If you've read more then one or two posts on this blog, you probably have a good idea of who I am. I can be serious. I can be silly. I can be emotional. I'm definately opinionated and quite the smart ass. I try to mix some humor into my stories. Whether or not it's actually funny, well you can be the judge of that. What I do think I have done is open my heart and post the things we've been going through for the past two years or so, at first in the hope that I'd find someone who's been there, and now so that maybe our experiences can help someone else who may not know where to start. I've met an entire community of bloggers that have welcomed me into their circle. Ultimately, I wanted a record of what this has been like so someday my little girl can read it and see how our family came to be created. All honest, all open.
Adoption is a fact of life. Every one is different, as everyone is different. I'm so thankful that we connected with a woman that has a good head on her shoulders, who has really thought about what she was doing, and who wanted the best for Sabrina. Ten and a half months have passed since her birth, and her birth mother, with the support of her family (and I hope to a degree us) is doing very well. We have a constant email and picture exchange, and we are all very excited to meet up for the first time since the birth next week when we go to California for finalization. Even more special for us, we will be meeting at her mom's house. We were going to take them to lunch, but her mom wants to make us lunch so we can all relax and feel comfortable while we get to know each other better, and they can enjoy Sabrina. We are very happy to welcome each other into our respective families and bond over our common love for this special little girl.
As she grows older, no matter how well we think we're doing, she's going to have questions. She's going to have times where she may feel some pretty intense emotions about being adopted. Add to that the fact that she's got two fathers. I don't pretend to know what this will feel like. I don't have that experience. But I do know what it feels like to grow up and know you're different than everybody else. It can be pretty overwhelming at times. The lines of communication with us will always be open. She has friends that have same sex parents. There is a support system for that. I have a feeling her birth mother will be there for her. Hopefully after next week, so will her birth grandmother. Not to mention the huge adoptive family who took her into their hearts from day one. She's going to be fine, and I bet she'll be a hell of a strong woman when she grows up.
Why am I posting this? Apparently my happiness over having a baby has angered a small group of adult adoptees and holy rollers. I've been told I hate adoptees; am stealing my daughters heritage and celebrating her loss of identity; the usual "God hates fags" mantra; had profanity filled tirades flung at me, my partner, and my family in general; and Tiger Woods has stopped answering my calls (OK I made that last one up). I've even had posts featured on select hate blogs. Ah the price of fame...
This blog is about my family. It's not a forum for debate, so yes these comments have been and will continue to be deleted. Compared to the vast majority of comments of friendship and support, there are not very many of these. So bitterness, profanity, and good ol' fashioned fire and brimstone are going to be removed (the lame attempt to guilt me into keeping them there by starting the comment with "you're prolly (sic) going to delete this but..." isn't working). I've enjoyed your rants, but if I want to read a page of misspelled grammatical terrorism and irrational hatred, I'll pick up Sarah Palin's new book.
No longer a thirtysomething!
1 week ago