Socially Acceptable

Hanging in my crib...

Another milestone in the journey that is adoption passed today.  Our last visit from the Social Worker.  Gregg, Sabrina, and I are so happy that's over!  Sabrina babbled, laughed, and smiled the whole time and just exuded her normal happy babyness.  This may have been the shortest visit yet.  I'm ticked at myself for forgetting to get a picture of us with Windsor to add to Sabrina's book showing her one of the kindest people we've met in this process.  She told us her monthy reports get bundled into a package with a "Yes, let them adopt" or "Them adopt?  Are you nuts?" stamped across the top.  In our case, she said she's going to write a personal recommendation that the court approve this placement.  Awesome!  The Boys have been so patient with all of this that I had to take them to the dog park to celebrate.

We can do without these visits for another reason, the $330 a pop they're costing us.  All we have left now are the court costs which will run about $650 plus the cost of a trip back to L.A. county and we're done.  I'll have to say, these last months have been a tough haul financially.  With the housing prices dumping, our bank had closed our line of credit that we planned on using throughout the process back in March so we've had to come up with each months payments without that safety.  It's been tight, but so worth it.  Sabrina is our dream, and we couldn't imagine things without her!  So we'll get through the court stuff and finalize this thing in a month or so, and then it's official!

Prop. 8 Didn't Go Far Enough

Yes that's correct.  The proposition banning same sex marriage in California was too soft.  It needs to be tightened up a bit.  After all, marriage is on the ropes here!  I mean the whole point of it was to protect marriage and children by keeping those uppity homos from gaying it all up.  I mean do you want weddings that look like this?

Or this abomination of Jesus' idea of a perfect marriage?

There's so much wrong with this one, I don't even know where to start...

With all this in mind, deciding who can get married is just the first phase.  Keeping it traditional and Jesus-ey is the next logical step.  Which is why I am now a supporter of the 2010 California Marriage Protection Act, which states:

SECTION 1. Title. This act shall be known as the “2010 California Marriage Protection Act.”

SECTION 2. Section 7.6 is added to Article I of the California Constitution, to read:
"No party to any marriage shall be restored to the state of an unmarried person during the lifetime of the other party unless the marriage is void or voidable, as set forth in Part 2 of Division 6 of the Family Code."

In other words, ban divorce.  That's right, ban it.  The two biggest threats to marriage are divorce and boys kissing.  So once you're married, you're married, for life.  After all, that's what it's supposed to be about, "til death do us part" and all that.  Well as the slogan says, "you're not dead yet".  If you voted for Prop. 8, you have to go to the next level or you'd be a hypocrite, and I don't think you'll find too many of those in church.  This is a real initiative that has been filed with the state for inclusion on the ballot pending getting enough signatures. 

After all if you could think "straight" enough to get married in the first place you should have been smart enough to realize it's forever, no matter how much you can't stand each other.  (I'm talking to you Jon and Kate!)  It's about time someone put this on the ballot because I can't sleep at night worrying about other people's marriages and wishing I could have something to say about them.  Now all I have to do is move back to California.

In the Echo Chamber

Well the new issue of the Echo is out today, the local Phoenix gay magazine .  It's the one with the article about adoption we were interviewed for.  OK I was interviewed for.  Our conversation went something like this:

B is upstairs changing the baby.  G is downstairs cooking dinner.  The phone rings.  The house's built in intercom system we paid extra for is forgotten in exchange for yelling (what Gregg calls the NY intercom).
B:  Hey Gregg remember I told you I set up the adoption interview with the Echo?  Kathy's on the phone you want to come up?
G:  I'm cooking dinner...
B:  What?
G:  I'm cooking dinner!
B:  Oh well do you care if I do it by myself?
G:  Will you do it anyway?
B:  Probably.  I mean yes.
G:  Have a good time...

Kathy and I spoke for about 15 minutes.  She found us via the blogosphere when a fellow blogger put us in touch with her.  The article showcases three couples and how they went about creating their families.  After it was over I went downstairs to tell Gregg about it.

B:  Well I'm done I told her our story.
G:  Cool
B:  So, um, I wanted to ask you if it was OK if I gave her permission to use our full names?
G:  You already told her to.
B:  No I...yeah I did.  Is it OK?
G:  It's OK.

He's wonderful.  How does he put up with me?  *Grin*.

So check it out here.

Vader Is Your Father

...in Dutch. 

I came across this YouTube of a kid's show in the Netherlands, where kids describe something in their lives, a song is written about it, and they perform it on TV as well as on a yearly compilation CD.  This one's about a boy that has two dads, and even in Dutch is kind of a catchy tune.  It's cool that he's so proud to be in a two dad household that he sings about it on TV.

Two Dads?  Wrote a song about it, like to hear it?  Here it go...

Blogging for Dollars

I'm still Mr. Coughy.  (Hey clever!)  At least Sabrina seems pretty much better.  Gregg's still congested.  Thank you day care, with your room full of runny nosed sickies!

I was thinking I should have some juice to get my vitamin C and it made me realize how corporations are playing us bloggers to get the word out on their products.  I've been offered free products via this blog by marketers (one of which was a juice, which made me think about this post) who not so subtly ask that those products get a mention.  I've declined them; this blog is not meant to be used in that vein.  Some of them have graciously sent free product anyway, even after I've made clear I wouldn't give them a write up.  Then I started noticing those products showing up in other blogs.  I can appreciate a good marketing strategy, and I think it's a pretty clever way to get a viral campaign going, so I do give them credit for that. 

What do you guys think?  Would you use your blog to promote a product?  I know some of you have, and so I don't want you to take this post the wrong way.  There were a few times I've read a review of something and found it pretty helpful. 

Because I'm a nostalgic liberal child of the 70's, I'll put my product promotion below.  Be warned:  it's not my fault when you start humming it all day.

Illness Update

Sorry for my lame blogging of late...the illness fairy is still around.  Sabrina's mostly done, Gregg is still coughing and I think I'm having a relapse.  At least there is no fever in any of us.  Ugh.  *Cough*.

Wordless Wednesday

A Social Visit

Well we're more then half way there.  Sabrina's over four months old, and the adoption becomes final when she turns six.  Right now she's laying on the bed next to me screaming her head off.  Not crying or unhappy at all.  As I posted earlier, she's learned how to scream and is currently enjoying herself doing it.  This has been going on over an hour now.  She's apparently thrilled with herself that she can pull this off.  That makes one of us.  Her other new habit is trying to master the Bronx Cheer.  Such a lovely child.

Anyway the adoption.  Today we had a visit from our social worker.  We have four mandated visits during the process; after today we only have one left (September's).  Our SW is really nice and very easy going.  You can tell she really cares for children.  She is the same person who did our homestudy last year so she's very familiar with our case.  Today's visit lasted about an hour, and consisted mostly of just me bringing her up to date on Sabrina's progress, and us swapping stories about our Labs (she is very active in Labrador retriever rescue; see link to the side of the page).  The only drawback is this pleasant little hour costs $330.  Just another adoption expense!

Our next visit will be towards the end of September, after which our SW will write and deliver her report to the IAC in California, who will forward it to the court.  Once Sabrina turns six months old on October 18th, it will be off to L.A. for our finalization hearing with the judge.  Once that's complete, Gregg and I will officially and forever be her parents.  Her original birth certificate will be destroyed, and a new one issued with our names on it.  I wonder who will be the Mother?

That's Just Sick

Well I'm behind again in the blogging, but illness has descended upon the family so that's my excuse. This is Sabrina's second cold since starting daycare a month ago, and she's shared it with Those Two Daddies this time. We do think some of the nose running is related to teething, as she does have on again off again gum pain. So far there's no fever, but I just hate listening to her stuffiness as she tries to get a good night's sleep. It started Friday and seems like it might be a little better today. At any rate it can't last much longer. I have to give her credit, she still smiles and coos even when she's sick but she is more on the subdued side. There's some mild crankiness, but we're still greeted by waving arms and a smiling face when she sees us come to her crib in the morning.

On a side note, I've been interviewed for a story in the Echo, our local gay magazine, about adoption. It should hit the stands in a week or two, and I'll post a link when it does.

4 Months How Time Flies!

Well that little girl that lives with us turns four months old today. I still can't believe she's here. On one hand it seems like we've had her in our family forever almost like I can't remember what it was like without her. On the other, I remember how long we planned and waited for her arrival, and all those years plus four months have vanished in the blink of an eye. She's gone from this delicate little bundle we swaddled and tip toed around to a laughing and chattering Cuteness Factory. Last night she went for two hours straight, talking to her toys, her blanket, Ripley (they were nose to nose while she was telling him all about something--I wonder if it's like Family Guy where dogs understand baby chatter?), and of course us. I'm starting to wonder if we should teach her actual words or not because I have a feeling she'll never stop talking. She laughs at everything, from Papa's beard to her own reflection in the mirror to sucking snot out of her nose with a suction bulb. Putting on a shirt is a game; she smiles when I grab her arm to put it in the sleeve because she knows she's going to grab it halfway through and giggle as she tries to stick it in her mouth. She listens intently to stories we read her because she loves to lay next to us on her back while we hold up the book so she can see the pictures. She couldn't get enough of her cousins on Saturday as they played with her all afternoon making her laugh.

Oh well I guess we have our work cut out for us. It won't be easy crushing this one; the force is strong in her!

This Little Piggy...

Not much going on right now; this weekend my sister hosted a "Piggies and Paws" party. They take a hand or foot print of your kid and turn it into art. We had Sabrina's footprints done, and they are going to turn it into a dragonfly print, where her feet are the wings. It should turn out pretty nice. They have almost any kind of picture you want. (Sorry for the short post.)

An Adoption, An IVF, and Surrogacy Walk Into a Bar...

OK, today's entry relies on that reliable ratings grabber from our old friend TV. You know, when one show's characters visit another show. Like when Maude visited the Bunkers, Newhart woke up from dreaming an entire series, Superman horned in on Lucy's territory, or Fonzie met Mork from Ork. Ah comedy gold. Today I was going to tell you all about our weekend when we visited some new friends for lunch at Paradise Bakery. We all met via the blog world. Chantelle and Cyndi are two expectant Moms to be, and Gerry and Rhonda are a straight couple doing surrogacy in India. Since there's no use re-inventing the wheel and everyone else has done a nice job already, you can read our crossover adventures for yourself on their blogs...

Those Two Daddies guest star on Our Journey to Surrogacy India.

Those Two Daddies guest star on Our Life Our Dreams

Friday Fotos (Lazy Way)

With my Aunt from Long Island

Sabrina and Papa

Big Smiles!

Chillaxin' in the Crib, MTV Style

Yeah I know it's the "lazy man's post" when you just throw up random pictures. Seriously though, that last one has definate attitude.

A Note for Jeve...

To: Jeve (John and Steve)
From: Grobby (Gregg and Bobby)
re: Leather Storksak Diaper Bag

Hi Jeve
First, thanks for sharing your surrogacy story; I really enjoy your blog and look forward to your updates. I read your Diaper Bag entry today and wanted to comment on it, but my wordy self indulgence would have hijacked your comments page so I thought a post would be better.

Now being from Long Island myself, I have to say you Manhattan gays really know how to work the style thing. (I'm of course leaving out the Chelsea Boys because expensive skin tight Lycra and $100 eyelash tints make them look more like lower tier members of the Justice League, not fashion mavens of Park Avenue.) That leather bag certainly fits right in. I'm sure it's fabulous! I read with interest your description of all the neat compartments and organization features it has. Now let me tell what is going to happen to that fashion accoutrement after the little bundle of joy arrives...

The beautiful pebbled cowhide will take on a new mottled look when the baby puke on your sleeve you didn't see gets smeared across the front of the bag. It will complement the discolored patches caused by the punctured tube of Butt Cream (the baby's, not yours) at the bottom of the bag. That hot, sexy leather smell all gay boys adore will turn into the scent of perfumed powder that emanates from the packet of plastic bags used for wrapping dirty diapers in. (Think of the poop bags you use to pick up after your dog, only with twice as much fragrance.) It permeates everything within a 50 yard radius. Of course, once the O-ring on the bottom of your Ventaire bottle gets warped from heating it one time too many the 8 oz. of formula that leaks out should be contained in the freeze bag until you unwittingly open it and it spills all over your Berluti loafers. The detachable key ring is perfect for holding those little dangling tinkly things that hang from car seats that you can swear you hear in the middle of the night even though it's impossible. And the pen holders? They'll be holding GermX dispensers, not Montblancs. The rest of the bag will be filled with onsies, extra diapers, wipe holders, dirty bottles, several bottles of lotion, pacifiers, stuffed toys, teething rings, washcloths, and a few bottles of airline liquor (for you, not Junior).

I know, it's depressing. But in my vast (OK 3 1/2 months) experience of fatherhood, I've learned to give up the trappings of semi-fabulousness in exchange for utility and sensibility. In other words, "go lesbian". Sigh.

On the other hand, last night I laid on the bed next to Sabrina, both of us on our backs, as I held up the story book and read Little Kitten Finds the Moon as she stared in wonder at the sparkly pictures and listened intently to every word just to hear the sound of my voice. At the end we turned and looked at each other and when she laughed that paid for every last piece of baby equipment we ever bought.

Sabrina G, Mega Star

So there we were at Nordstroms, ducking in and out of the couture, trying to avoid the paparazzi and escape our adoring public. OK it wasn't exactly like that. We were at the Kohl's Two Day Sale getting an extra 15% off the already low low prices. We're parents now, the Nordies days are over. I was carrying Sabrina while Gregg filled her stroller with bargains. As I came around a clothing rack with my new Captain America t-shirt in hand I saw he was talking to a woman I didn't know. It turns out she's one of my readers named Rhonda and she recognized us from the blog. She shared that she and her husband were creating their family via surrogacy in India and her baby was due at the end of the summer. It was very interesting, and I thought I'd share her blog with all of you. I started reading it and I have to say what a journey they've had! So it's kind of my recommendation of the week. Take a look.