Thursday, March 10, 2011

Adoption Denial Brought to You by the Letter Tea

Arizona is the home of Tea Party 'Merican Values.  We do things right.  For example, one of the first acts our legislature took on after the tragic shooting of Gabrielle Giffords in Tucson was to make the Colt revolver the official state gun.  We also allow them in bars and at the state capitol, and as of today allow them on campus (SB1467) and inside all public areas such as sports arenas.  Luckily, everyone who has one concealed on their person is well trained...oh wait, actually we eliminated permits and training, so any 'Merican can carry them around.  Soon, a new bill will outlaw destroying guns confiscated by police.  Because melting down a gun is like gassing a puppy.  I suppose we'll put them up for adoption.*

Now anyone can adopt a gun.  Children, well not so much.  Our state senate just passed SB 1188, the "Marital Preference Law".  It now heads to the house.  This bill mandates that adoption agencies and the state give preference to married couples when adopting from the foster system.  So if you're single you go to the end of the line.  Now to our Tea Partying legislature, "single" is really code for...wait for it...gay.  Since we eliminated divorce and bestowed marital bliss and eternal happiness on our married population by outlawing gay marriage this bill will stand in the way of gay couples seeking to adopt from the state.  I know, that's a pretty big charge, saying they are secretly trying to stop same sex parenting.  So let's take a look at the mind of a Teabagger...

SB1188 was introduced and is sponsored by State Senator Linda Grey, R (big surprise there) District 10.  Now Sen. Grey's website sports a link to the Center for Arizona Policy, a "Protect the Family" group that sponsors every anti gay bill in the state.  Well they don't really "Protect" all families, certainly ours is up for dismissal.  The families of straight white Christians (really, who else lives in Arizona?) specifically.  They have a very loving website all children should visit, with topics on what the bible says about homosexuality and how gay marriage is destroying 'Merica.  They have a policy doc on this bill and all the research they cite is from a Dr. Bradford Wilcox.  Now who is he?  Obviously some expert who has done extensive and objective research...ah not quite.  Dr. Wilcox is the director of the National Marriage Project, a religious organization aimed at banning gay marriage.  He is the only person they use as a reference for their policy paper.  They completely ignore all other research on the matter, and make false claims such as:
  • Social science proves children do best when raised by a married mother and fatherFalse.  Years of study by all reputable groups show there is no difference between children raised by gay couples versus straight couples, and marriage certainly is not the deciding factor. 
  • SB1188's language ensures that all factors indicate placement with a married couple is in the child's best interests.  False.  Just because the bill says that doesn't mean it's true.  If that's the case my husband and daughter are also 3/5's of a person.
  • Adoption is designed to come as close as possible to natural parenting.  OK all adoptive parents...how true is that?  Search almost any blog on my reading list and tell me how close you come to that.
Don't get me wrong, if you're straight and single I'm sure there's something wrong with you too.  After all, this state is crawling with redneck trailer owners (some without meth labs) willing to make an honest woman out of you.  All you need to do is get hitched.

Senator Grey states on her website,

I BELIEVE in equal rights, equal justice and equal opportunity for all, regardless of race, creed, sex, age or disability.

Maybe.  For now, I'm going to sabotage my neighbor's marriages by tucking in my daughter and kissing my husband good night.

*For the record, I support the rights of qualified Americans to own guns, and am a responsible gun owner myself.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Guitar Hero

This weekend seems to have been guitar weekend for us in the sense that we encountered them wherever we went.  That's fine for Sabrina as the guitar seems like it's becoming one of her favorite instruments.  Well besides slamming plastic bowls on the floor to make the loudest noises possible.  I like to tell myself that toddlers are attracted to music naturally, although it could just be that since they don't sit still and are basically 30" tall over caffeinated jumping beans we add background music and call it dancing.  Let's face it, if you're constantly babbling, jumping all over the place, laughing uncontrollably, and making a gigantic mess while demanding to be the center of attention, you're either a toddler or Charlie Sheen.  Music just pulls it all together.  And the strumming of an acoustic guitar seems to be her favorite.  Probably because she's a big Laurie Berkner Band fan, and loves those videos.

I didn't even know she could say "guitar" but it came out when we were at her cousin's first birthday party and there was a boy there that was playing one.  Seven years old and working on "Stairway to Heaven".  Not bad.  I know there are two camps on this, one who thinks that song is the ultimate ever written, and the other one (that I fall into) that feels it's played as a cruel irony in the elevator as you're descending into Hell.  Regardless, this kid was trying his best on it, and Sabrina kept pointing and saying "Guitar".  Well in between intermittently joining the herd of kids and running around like a pack of wild emus.

Out to dinner on Sunday at "our place", a cozy wine bistro near our home, the entertainment was again a woman who could play literally anything on acoustic guitar and make it sound like that's exactly what it was written for.  I was tempted to request some Lady Gaga, and something told me she could pull it off.  After dinner we sat and watched her for a bit.  Sabrina, not to be outdone by a professional musician, started doing a toddler version of "air guitar" by strumming her tummy along with the music.  The other diners loved that they now had a music and comedy act going at the same time.  The real chuckle came when she started pumping her hands in the air and "whoo whoo-ing" as she raised the roof.

Yep, I thought, I taught her that.  Smile.