Cover your children's eyes. We're out of milk, and headed to the grocery store.
Harp's supermarket in Arkansas is fighting the good fight and protecting the children by placing a "family shield" over the latest US magazine cover at the check stands. These shields are normally used to cover up unsavory images like giant breasts or Joan Rivers' loose neck skin so little kids don't see them. After all, Arkansas narrowly escaped the Rapture last week as thousands of dead birds fell from the sky, so they're on high alert down there and not taking any chances. The children must be protected.
This particular picture is a family portrait of Elton John, his partner David Furnish, and their one month old son born on Christmas day via surrogacy. Arkansas is like America's electric typewriter...you can't bear to throw it away, but it's outdated technology that has ceased to be useful and doesn't fit modern life. I would go out on a judgemental limb and say most people there don't (think) they know any gay people let alone children with gay parents. And we must protect the children.
All children? Not really. I know the good people of Arkansas don't want to answer questions from their kids about how two men who aren't even cousins could have a baby. That would confuse them. But what about my kid? Or the kids of any same sex couple? How do they feel when they ask why the magazine is covered and they find out it's because it shows a reflection of their own families? And if the store has to cover up a magazine with a family picture on it, what happens when an actual gay parented family walks in? Here they are in the flesh. How do the normal customers explain that to the kids? I guess mom grits both of her teeth and shuffles the kids out of Harps and down to the Interstate where the meat is just as fresh but free for the taking. Without reality and modern life staring them in the face.