Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Cleaned Up in Aisle 6


Cover your children's eyes.  We're out of milk, and headed to the grocery store.

Harp's supermarket in Arkansas is fighting the good fight and protecting the children by placing a "family shield" over the latest US magazine cover at the check stands.  These shields are normally used to cover up unsavory images like giant breasts or Joan Rivers' loose neck skin so little kids don't see them.  After all, Arkansas narrowly escaped the Rapture last week as thousands of dead birds fell from the sky, so they're on high alert down there and not taking any chances.  The children must be protected.

This particular picture is a family portrait of Elton John, his partner David Furnish, and their one month old son born on Christmas day via surrogacy.  Arkansas is like America's electric typewriter...you can't bear to throw it away, but it's outdated technology that has ceased to be useful and doesn't fit modern life.  I would go out on a judgemental limb and say most people there don't (think) they know any gay people let alone children with gay parents.  And we must protect the children.

All children?  Not really.  I know the good people of Arkansas don't want to answer questions from their kids about how two men who aren't even cousins could have a baby.  That would confuse them.  But what about my kid?  Or the kids of any same sex couple?  How do they feel when they ask why the magazine is covered and they find out it's because it shows a reflection of their own families?  And if the store has to cover up a magazine with a family picture on it, what happens when an actual gay parented family walks in?  Here they are in the flesh.  How do the normal customers explain that to the kids?  I guess mom grits both of her teeth and shuffles the kids out of Harps and down to the Interstate where the meat is just as fresh but free for the taking.  Without reality and modern life staring them in the face.

13 comments:

BloggerFather said...

Seriously? That's unbelievable.

Rhonda and Gerry W said...

Elton John's partner and child are pretty nice to look at, but Elton John...not so much! I might just cover it up based on that fact alone! LOL

Poor people in Arkansas they just need to get a reality check. Times are changing and so should we!

kiles1670 said...

how rude. words cant express how I feel

kiles1670 said...

how rude. words cant express how I feel

Jeff and Kevin said...

But I'm sure they'll display Heidi Montag in all her glory. Yuck.
K

Malea said...

Very well said Bobby.

Leah said...

I read about this censorship yesterday, and not only did it make me sad. . . it made me absolutely SICK. Here is a beautiful modern family, enjoying the blessing of a child. I'm sorry? I don't get what is wrong or controversial about that?

This is the year 2011, and I can't wait to see the day we have equal rights. This is a human rights issue, and it's sad.

print girl ink said...

Wooooowww. wow wow wow. arkansas has a screw loose.

Kristin said...

As usual, you crack me up! Your humor always helps bring light to a really ugly situation. Harps is horrible.

Do I sense a bit of Arkansaphobia?

Mike and Mike said...

I'm confused, having driven through Arkansas on our move to the East Coast we were lucky enough to have spent an evening before moving on as fast as we could. We got to experience prehistoric sized mosquitos, astoundingly perfected mullets, faux marble resin 1970's countertops, toilets and shower/bathtub surround punctuated by over-the-top Rococo fixtures in faux bronze with spatterings of faux gold thrown-up on them for accents. And then finally there was the TV that only played porn...straight porn...but porn nonetheless.

If you want to protect the children...move out of Arkansas.

Stacey said...

It's just really ridiculous and I thought the same thing--what are you telling *our* children. Protect the children? What they mean to say is that they onlly care about *their* children. Jerks.

growfamilygrow said...

So not even a lip lock and they get censored? Arkansas, you're nuts.

mommy3 said...

So glad you can find humor -- and I know, also sarcasm -- in these issues. It just makes me so pissed off, actually, that we can have teen mom everywhere and yet two grown ups can't be proud of their beautiful child. ahhhh. I'll deal with this for now. Then I'll tear down all those covers. Get outta the way, Arkansas; I'm comin'.