Watch It Wiggle

I've recently discovered one of the hidden benefits of fatherhood.  The Sprout Channel.  It's geared to younger children with shows I like, like The Goodnight Show, The Sharing Show, and The Sunnyside Up Show.  Educational, fun, and Sabrina loves it.

They also show The Wiggles.  It plays in the background while I do her hair or make breakfast.  Until  I took a closer look at the "Blue" Wiggle, Anthony. 

I sat down to get a better look.  He's captivating.  That smile just lights up his face.  Great cheekbones and whoa--he's Australian?  Australian men are very sexy.  The way he moves while he's dancing...I'm hooked.  I find myself watching the clock in the morning, waiting for Wiggle Time.  Sabrina had to learn to give herself a bottle because my attention was on Anthony and his dance moves.  That Yellow and that Red Wiggle keep trying to upstage him, but they can't hold a candle! 

All of this was fine until today, when I realized my obsession with Anthony was, well creepy.  Here's poor Anthony trying to entertain and educate kids, and me watching him thinking what beautiful music we could make together.  I'm sure he gets tons of fan mail, so I'm not worried he hasn't returned my letters or acknowledged my 1-800-FLOWERS gifts.  But I think it's time to change the channel.  It just seems wrong to be learing at the guy that's making my kid smile.  And so, in a world populated by Purple Dinosaurs and giant 6 foot tall canary birds, the bright spot that was the Blue Wiggle will have to fade away.  I'm sorry Anthony, but it's for the good of the children.

Plus there's always BET and the Wendy Williams Show.  How YOU doin'?