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As I was taking this picture, I was thinking about the smile on her face. I thought about the comments people make to Gregg and I, about what a lucky little girl she is. I'm not sure why but that's what people say when they don't know anything about our family and how it came to be. As I usually tell them, no, we're the lucky ones, because we were chosen to be her Daddy and her Papa, and to love and take care of her. As a parent knows, seeing that smile makes you smile, and gives you that fluttery feeling in your gut that swells up and lights up your face with pride. I started to think about the responsibility of raising a child--schooling, love, learning about the world, and so on. I think though, the most important thing a child will take with them after they're grown, is the memory of childhood itself. And yeah, you're in charge of that too.
I'm lucky. I fall into nostalgia on a regular basis thinking about growing up. My parents are still married, and my family is still intact. My parents weren't rich by any means, but securely middle class. With five kids, there was always a juggling act with finances I'm sure, but we weren't made aware of that. There were always great Christmases, summers spent camping and going to the beach, time playing with our cousins, and lots of love. The memory of childhood is powerful, and it's why I get teary eyed every time Frosty melts no matter how hard I tell my adult self snowmen can't come to life. It's why I know all the really important breaking news is announced by a frog in a trench coat, and not some partisan hack. Breaking the no tag backs rule gets you ostracized from the group, if only for a few minutes, and architectural wonders can be created with a cardboard box and some broken crayons.
I know I'm lucky, because there are people I know who's childhood memories aren't that great. I want Sabrina to look back on these years with fondness as I do. So far I'm sure we're on the right track. But we've got a lot to teach her. I'm listing my priorities below. Leave a comment and tell me what you still need to teach your kids so they have great childhood memories as well.
Things Sabrina Needs To Know:
- The secret identities of all the Super Heroes, and that no matter what anyone says talking to fish isn't really a useful super power (I'm looking at you Aquaman!).
- How to make twirly whirlies out of maple tree seeds, even if they are few and far between in Arizona.
- Picking out the best stick for roasting marshmallows.
- Blanket fort building.
- Even if he yells, it's still totally worth it to sneak up on Papa and drop an ice cube down his pants.
- Hand stands in the pool.
- Watching the (original) Star Wars movies with Daddy and Papa for the first time is important, even the one about the army of hamsters.
- The President of the United States is an important man no matter what grown ups say. Yeah even the last one.
- Frogs aren't gross until you're over the age of 10.
- How to throw a Frisbee and ride a bike.
- Digging a large hole in the back yard for no reason at all always seems like a good idea at the time, until your parents find out.
- Saying good bye to Ripley and Chase one day is going to be very hard, but Daddy and Papa will do their best to get you through it.
- Even if your prom date looks like Tyson Beckford or Brad Pitt, your fathers aren't going to like him. Stare at him yes, like him, no.
- Be awesome and show your personality in everything you do, no matter how strange it might seem, and your fathers will be there for you.
So tell me, what will you do for your kids to make sure their childhood memories are the best they can be?
Tortoise Farmer
Based on today's mail delivery, we can assume the mail man knows we're gay parents...
Happy weekend!
OK I've been wrestling with this for over a week now, but I've finally been convinced to appeal to the masses for votes. I'm not sure who or why I was nominated, but somehow Those Two Daddies ended up in contention for one of the best LBGT Family blogs on the net. So not unlike Sanjaya, I'm shamelessly begging for votes. Click on the badge to the left to vote for my blog. You can do it each day but only until May 13th. Grassy-ass!
D.J. #1: Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today.
D.J. #2: It's coooold out there every day. What is this, Miami Beach?
--The Opening Radio Dialogue to "Groundhog Day".
And so we soldier on through the home study. Finger prints, letters of reference, home visits, financial documentation, etc. etc. Today we had our home visit and although we cleaned all weekend, it was sit down at the dining room table with coffee and danish while we chatted about how different everything is now that we are parents. This is the sixth or seventh time we've talked to our social worker Windsor (she did our last home study and post placement visits), so it was all very relaxed and very familiar. She even condensed our study down from two visits to just one. (Well one visit with two payments!) We've done all this before, know the players, and the process hasn't changed, so it's almost kind of a redo. It's nice to have something that's somewhat relaxed in the otherwise stressful time that is adoption prep.
I also called our main agency, the IAC, and told them we're ready to get the ball rolling on "re-upping" with them. We know the ropes there too, so we hope to be ready, approved, and on the books by summer's end. Right now the only difficult part is, well, paying for it. Luckily we don't have to pay the entire thing up front, but handing over thousands of dollars a month for the next six months or so isn't going to be exactly child's play. I'm sure we'll figure it out...Powerball anyone?
To prove we're Dr. Spock approved parents, I submit the following certificate. Being voted class clown at 2 years old might be cute, but I'm not sure what the future holds on that one...we may end up regretting it!
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