Jesus Wept

"Jesus Wept," -- Mike Huckabee, former governor and current sad faced person.

"Knock it off Homos!"--Mike Huckabee

While today was a day of celebration for a lot of the country as DOMA was defanged and Prop. 8 fell thanks to the Supremes (Diana Ross notwithstanding), there was also a great gnashing of teeth and general drama queenliness from our nutty friends on the right wing.  You'd think we changed the name of the country to the United States of Fabulous.  While Gregg might be counted in the camp that was disappointed in the outcome (he's now one step closer to fulfilling his proposal of 1997 to me, even if I have to drag him kicking and screaming down the aisle), I thought I'd take some time and give some space to those who aren't so happy on this historic day.

1. Mike Huckabee
   You'd think someone named after a cartoon hound dog would have more of a sense of humor.  He's informed us that when told of the verdict today, "Jesus Wept".  Well of course he did!  Tears of joy.  Because now if the Christs ever decide to settle down in that little place on the California beach I'm told they've had their eyes on, Jesus can rest assured that his two daddies will be able to receive all the federal benefits they are entitled to.  Ding dong, Do I hear wedding bells?
2. Catholic Bishops
   Cardinal Timothy Dolan lamented this tragic day for our nation, and that we don't know the difference between a man and a woman.  Well of course I know the difference, especially after that regrettable drunken night in 1992.  (Sadly, I'm not a gold star gay) Then again it's understandable that the Church is against marriage equality.  After all, Cardinal Dolan would have to make an honest woman out of Archbishop Cordileone, and (s)he's a terrible cook.
3. The National Organization for Marriage (NOM)The National Organization for Marriage, whose goal is to stop marriages (?), was deeply disappointed.  Use to gloating over victories and crushing the dreams of families for years now, they didn't quite know how to react.  “There is a stench coming from this case that has now stained the Supreme Court,” said Brian Brown, the organization’s President.  You just know he was thinking back to last Saturday night and, well, Santorum.
4. Glenn Beck and Rand Paul
   The Clown Prince of Teabaggery and Rand Paul's real hair joined forces today to denounce the marriage equality decision.  Glenn, as usual, is focused on the Muslim problem. "If I’m a devout Muslim, I come over here and I have three wives, who are you to say if I’m an American citizen that I can’t have multiple wives?”.  Who indeed?!  Beck didn't let the fact that this decision was about same sex marriage and has nothing to do with polygamy stop him, because, well, Muslims.  Rand Paul, taking a break from holding a flag on the top of Mount Rushmore, shook his head in agreement.  “People take it to one extension further — does it have to be humans?"  Oh SNAP!  Does it indeed!  At any rate, it would at least need to be something that could sign a marriage contract, like the Cowardly Lion (clearly gay) or that annoying map from Dora the Explorer.
5. Michele Bachmann (R-The Old Testament)
   The girl with kaleidoscope eyes chimed in with righteous indignation today as well.   “No man, not even a Supreme Court, can undo what a holy God has instituted”.  To which her butch husband Marcus shouted out "H to the E to the double L yeah!".  He then asked Michele not to wait up for him tonight as he'd be busy bringing Jesus to a homeless shelter called The Cockpit.

"Oh Michele, you send me!"

 

The more perfect union desired by our founders took one more step forward today.  I'm envious of my gay friends in states like California who are now enjoying all the benefits of marriage they deserve, but in a good way.  It looks as if marriage equality is not only here to stay but will be expanding very quickly.  For ourselves, our kids, and our humanity, I'm glad for that.  Now let's get to work!

 

 



Cleaned Up in Aisle 6

Cover your children's eyes.  We're out of milk, and headed to the grocery store.

Harp's supermarket in Arkansas is fighting the good fight and protecting the children by placing a "family shield" over the latest US magazine cover at the check stands.  These shields are normally used to cover up unsavory images like giant breasts or Joan Rivers' loose neck skin so little kids don't see them.  After all, Arkansas narrowly escaped the Rapture last week as thousands of dead birds fell from the sky, so they're on high alert down there and not taking any chances.  The children must be protected.

This particular picture is a family portrait of Elton John, his partner David Furnish, and their one month old son born on Christmas day via surrogacy.  Arkansas is like America's electric typewriter...you can't bear to throw it away, but it's outdated technology that has ceased to be useful and doesn't fit modern life.  I would go out on a judgemental limb and say most people there don't (think) they know any gay people let alone children with gay parents.  And we must protect the children.

All children?  Not really.  I know the good people of Arkansas don't want to answer questions from their kids about how two men who aren't even cousins could have a baby.  That would confuse them.  But what about my kid?  Or the kids of any same sex couple?  How do they feel when they ask why the magazine is covered and they find out it's because it shows a reflection of their own families?  And if the store has to cover up a magazine with a family picture on it, what happens when an actual gay parented family walks in?  Here they are in the flesh.  How do the normal customers explain that to the kids?  I guess mom grits both of her teeth and shuffles the kids out of Harps and down to the Interstate where the meat is just as fresh but free for the taking.  Without reality and modern life staring them in the face.

Adoption Bans are Coming Next

You may want to skip this one if you're easily offended it's not one of my typical posts. No really. You might want to. Skip it.

Last night, the righteous victory for Barack Obama not withstanding, equality took the back seat of the bus. Marriage bans in Florida, Arizona, and California all passed. Most disturbingly, a ban on adopting children by gays was passed in Arkansas:

Voters passed a measure banning unmarried couples living together from serving as adoptive or foster parents...The adoption and foster ban, aimed primarily at keeping gays from becoming foster or adoptive parents, received support from nearly 57 percent of voters in unofficial and incomplete returns...The foster measure's sponsor, the Arkansas Family Council, painted its proposal as a battle against a "gay agenda." The conservative group successfully pushed for an amendment banning same-sex marriage four years ago..."I think the voters realized that this was about child welfare, rather than the rights of adults," said Jerry Cox, the council's president.

My Spidey sense is tingling on this one. They've almost exhausted the marriage trick throughout the states. They need something else, especially since the right was handed such a crushing defeat last night. In order to get their voters to the polls in the next few elections, they're going to need something for motivation. This could be it. Notice how they go to the welfare of the child right away. No home study info, no social worker input. See here's the formula. First ban gay marriage. (Sorry, I should really call it what it is, Equal Marriage). Once that's done, start enacting laws that apply to married couples only. It's that easy. You can get around the gay thing entirely and never even bring it up. In the case of Arkansas open bigotry and hurtful "thinking" (for rednecks I put that in quotes) is celebrated, so they actually went out of their way to make sure the gay American citizens living there knew it was aimed at them. This is done to help demoralize them and make them realize they are abnormal and should be ashamed. See if you weren't freaks, maybe we'd protect your constitutional rights to "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness". So faggots, it's your own damn fault. What's next? Hey how about banning gays from being teachers? You know, for the welfare of the child. They're already unqualified to be Cub Scout Leaders. We could legislate gays out of the health care business because they spread germs. Maybe we should ban unmarried couples living together from having a dog because they might want to, you know, marry it.

Why is it that any group with "Family" in the name is always against leaving people alone to create and live in their own families? Who appointed them to speak for all families anyway? Oh right, religion. How could I forget.

OK you know what? I was going to stop here because this blog is about our journey to adoption but the more I think about this as I proof read what I just wrote, I can't. My stomach is knotted up and I'm sorry I've just had about enough. I'm really mad. How dare they, in the name of religion, decide who is fit to raise a child and who isn't? Excuse me, but if you live in Arkansas in some backwoods shack you don't get to decide on the "welfare of children" with your tenth grade home schooled educations. This bull shit starts with a small group of religious assholes in places like this who find a few presentable people to dress it up and push it on the rest of us. I'm sick and tired of being told "the bible said" or "god spoke to me" are valid reasons to enact law in this country. Name me one law pushed by religion that actually gives rights to people. There isn't one. They're all designed to take rights away and get us closer to bible rule. The poor are loved by Jesus right? Not by religion. Try and send some tax cuts the way of the poor so they can actually scrape out a living and the wingnuts are marching in the streets with torches screaming "Socialism!". Heal the sick? Sorry, no. That might mean we need to do stem cell research, so better to have a long painful death from cancer or some other terrible illness then actually help the people who have families get better. This is exactly why, unless it's out of respect for a family member getting married or some such, I will never set foot in any church again. I will never donate a single cent to any charity run by religion. I refuse to vote for any measure, no matter how good for society as a whole, that is crafted with a religious bent.

And they better keep their grubby hands off my children.