Boys Are Cheaper

These are just the ones that currently fit.  They don't include the ones she's already outgrown or larger sizes waiting in the wings.

Even a digital camera does not have enough space to photograph the clothes.  Both closets full.  Sigh.

She Bleeds Orange, Just Like Daddy...

Phoenix Suns Biggest Little Fan.

Kobe Has No "D" Against Cuteness!

Steve Nash Won't Let Me Down!

Yeah I Gots Mad Skillz.

3 Points, No Problem!

Let's Go Suns...Beat L.A.!

Religion and Gay Families

I'm going to do something I haven't done in a long time.  No not that; one time after college was enough!  I'm going to defend religion.  Well kind of.

Today I got another urgent cry for help (and money) from the Human Rights Campaign. ( I've put down my feelings about HRC before and you can read that post here.)  Apparently, religious based schools are not happy that there are kids out there with same sex parents.  As HRC puts it in their email, right before the "Donate Money" button to help fight this injustice:

This one is beyond the pale...

Just days ago, a Boston third-grader's admission to a Catholic school was rescinded – solely because his parents are lesbians.
But here's the worst part – this is no isolated incident. Just a few months ago, a Catholic elementary school in Colorado expelled two preschoolers (that's right, preschoolers) for the same reason.

Oh the outrage!  What?!  Now children are being punished for having same sex parents?  It's not their fault.  They didn't have a choice in the matter, they were born in to a family with two daddies, just like Jesus.

Now, come on.  HRC is one of the first groups that will jump up and down in fits screaming "separation of church and state" any other time.  But in defense (gulp) of the Catholics, homosexuality is a mortal sin, one that will land you in Hell.  Right up there with using condoms and reading this blog.  I have to ask, why would gay parents enroll their kids in a school that is going to teach them that their families are wrong and shouldn't exist?  I mean, we try so hard to deflect negative energy and comments from our children, and you're going to put them in a class where they will be told their parents are sinners, going to hell, and you should not be proud of who they are and what your family represents?  Sorry, I don't get that.  The Church did these kids a favor by expelling them.  Now they can see religion for what it really is--a giant cult that aims to keep its members in line by threatening them with eternal punishment now and even after they die.  I don't understand why a gay person would want to be a member of an organization that (yes I'll say it) hates them.  It's like George Bush joining the Sierra Club or Sarah Palin running for president of Mensa.  And HRC wants to force the Church to let these kids back in? 

Ironically, on the same day I got this email, I saw a story in the Arizona Republic about a nun who has lost her post at St. Joseph's Hospital because she authorized an abortion in order to save the life of a critically ill patient.  Not only was she disciplined, but the patient was immediately excommunicated from the Church.  Because, you know, it's better for you and your unborn child to die instead of doing whatever you can to save your own life.  In my opinion, this woman's as lucky as the preschoolers above because now maybe she can live a better life free from religion.

Now, as an unbeliever I'm admittidly biased, and many of you may take issue with this post.  That's OK.  As for Sabrina, she can learn about religion when she's ready.  For me, that's after she's old enough to make rational decisions about morality, fantasy, and reality.  If after that, as an adult, she wants to join a church, I'll support her.  By locking her in the attic.

And now...your thoughts?

Here's Waldo

Wow I've been gone for longer than I thought I would.  Things have just been busy at home and at work.  The baby's been healthy for a while now, so we're not dealing earaches any more.  My job has been nuts, and so has Gregg's.  Fun fun.

Right now I'm in the airport in San Jose CA waiting for a flight home.  I've been up here in Silicon Valley since Monday at a Technology Services conference, and had my first short separation from Sabrina since she was born.  I missed her, but it was not as bad as I thought it would be.  Gregg said he thinks she starting to wonder where I am.  I'm flattered and saddened at the same time.  In a few hours we'll be back together and I can't wait to see her.  The flight's about to board, so that's all for now.  In the coming days I have some good topics to discuss, from our Arizona immigration fiasco to taking care of African American hair.  So if you can stand it, I'll write it.  Anyway, cleared for boarding...

We Now Return to the Regularly Scheduled Baby

Well it's been a week and I think we're about 95% done with the ear infections.  As of Sunday she's mostly acting her normal self again, although she's been more clingy then normal.  That could be from being sick, from the anti-biotics, or maybe from a milk allergy (we just started weaning her to milk from formula a week or so ago).  We think she'll be completely done in a day or two.

She finally got to have her birthday cake on Sunday.  Mmmm, cake!

The Ears Have It

The girl was up at 3 AM with 102 degree fever.  Some water, Tylenol, and late night Barney got it down to 99 an hour later.  She spent some time in bed with the Daddies after that until she could fall asleep.  Gregg's staying home with her today, and when I left for work this morning it was almost 101 again. 

Achy Breaky Ears

Update...

Last night saw a playful nothing's wrong phase, followed by a screamfest right before bed, but no fever most of the day.  A little cranky this morning, no fever, so off to day care.  I called around 1 this afternoon and they said she wasn't eating her solids and was definately not the life of the party she usually is.  They said she even had a small breakdown after I left this morning, which is not her style. 

Just got word a few minutes ago they called Gregg, she has a fever.  So he's off to pick her up.  He usually gets her around 3:30 or so anyway, so she almost made it.  Poor Chipmunk.

re: Happy Birthday

It's ear infections.  Both ears.  No wonder she's cranky.  I'd milk that for all it's worth.  Antibiotics usually work quickly with her.  She'll be fine, poor thing.

Happy (?) 1st Birthday Sabrina

As a parent, you want to make your child's first birthday a memorable event.  I've heard of some over the top Happy One Year Birthday Events, complete with circus animals, magicians, and the cast of American Idol on hand to entertain the guest of honor.  This wasn't the party we planned. 

We decided to spend Saturday, the day before her birthday, at the Phoenix Zoo.  It was a little warm but still enjoyable, and she had a good time.  She was a little quieter then normal, but had fun and was her normal playful self when we got home.  We should have suspected something...

Calm before the storm

Birthday Sunday started off a little strange.  She woke up around 8 AM.  Strange, she never gets up until 9 on weekends... Well she must know today's the big day...turning one!  Downstairs to open presents.

Hmm, she seemed more into opening gifts on Christmas...  She had two big boxes to open, and with some help from the Daddies, got her gifts.  We let her play with them for a bit while we set about the final preparations for the party.  Since she got up early, we thought maybe an early nap was in order.  Perfect, since the party starts at 2 PM.  It took a little longer then normal to get her to go down but she finally drifted off to sleep.  Is it hot in here, or does she seem a little warm?  Well she's acting happy.

So here's the plan.  We reserved a ramada at Red Moutain Park.  I was going to go over around 1:15 and set up and decorate, Gregg would show up with Sabrina and most of the food at 2 when our guests started arriving.  While setting up, my phone rang.  It was Gregg.  "She's screaming uncontrollably, and she's got a fever of 102.5.  I don't think we're coming.  You'll have to come get the food". 

"Well it's nice and cool over here, we can put her in her play pen, I'm sure she'll be fine once her cousins and friends get here."

"No, I can't even dress her.  She's crying so bad.  Something's wrong."

I wasn't getting it.  By this point the guests started arriving, some from the north valley, some from as far as Tucson.  OK, deep breath.  I told everyone I was leaving to go get the food and the guest of honor isn't coming.  Now I know alot of you don't know each other.  Mingle.  Luckily, the park is just down the street from our house.

When I walked in, I got it.  I have not heard her scream like that since she was a newborn.  Usually picking her up will console her, but not today.  Teeth or earache, or both, she wasn't going to the party.  OK, we can make this work...  Since Gregg's car was already loaded up, I took that one back to the park and unloaded the food.  All the guests were very understanding, but I was completely stressed out.  I knew I was when I squirted ketchup on my burger and missed, spraying it all over my white shorts instead.  Great.  Where are the napkins?  Right in my truck...the one that's back home.  Ugh.  Enter my sister.  "Bobby, we need some napkins for the kids.  Where did you put them?".  Uggnnhhh...

Somehow we got through it.  Gregg and Sabrina did show up for the last 15 minutes.  Sabrina wore a sad sack look, cried some, but her fever was gone at least.  We took her home to open her gifts, which she half heartedly played with.  She would laugh and play, then start a crying binge.  Poor girl.

I kept her home this morning, and we're headed to the doctor later.  I gave her a morning bath, and she played in the tub for a bit, but went right back to sleep after, and she never does that.

This was the first party I ever planned that did not include alcohol.  I'll never do that again!

Getting Close to One

Well the little stinker is closing in on one year old.  Her birthday is on Sunday the 18th.  She's toddling all over the place now.  She's decided it's fun to feed puffs and goldfish to The Boys, who take them ever so slowly and gently from her outstretched arm.  Sometimes they get one or two quick licks in before she gets tired of waiting and just eats it herself.  Meh, dogs and baby have all had their shots.  I could jump up off the couch and race over there to snatch it out of her hand before she pops it in her mouth.  I could...

Anyway, I've forgotten what it's like to not have her around.  So I jumped back in time to visit the blog in April of 2009 to see what I was feeling.  Apparently I moped around whining about how long this is taking a lot.  An incredible amount of time was wasted.  I could have been at Happy Hours and fabulous nightclubs.  Instead, I sat around waiting!  Uh, past self I just want to slap you (me?)!  Weekend trips to romantic places?  None!  I could have even taken Gregg with me.  I could have had a party and danced around the living room without shoes on and not broken my foot by stepping on one of the Fisher Price Little People who I swear can appear around the house with Twilight Zone creepiness.  I could have done wacky stuff like ate dinner before 9 PM or watched a newscast from start to finish without pausing the DVR. 

The point is, your life changes incredibly when you become a parent.  And the change is for the better.  Sure there are lots of things we no longer do, and you could never have convinced me that reading Ten Friendly Fish four or five times in a row at one sitting or playing endless games of peek-a-boo were great ways to spend a Saturday night.  But I'm fascinated with the way an almost one year old changes and learns day by day.  And she does it all with her daddies wrapped around her finger laughing along with her.  So if you're waiting for your baby via adoption, or any other way, my advice is to go live it up.  It will help ease the wait and speed things along.  It's not like you'll never do it again (I have a Happy Hour coming up on Friday--yippie!) but those days will be few and far between.  You'll have a good time...but the best is yet to come!

Wordless Wednesday

Because every once in while you just have to do it.
(Damn those are words!)
(Damn those are too!)
(Da--ah geez...just enjoy the pictures.)

Ball Popper...the current favorite toy.

Hunting for eggs with Papa.

My Easter sun dress.

Easter Family...can you tell whose back is out?

Upside Inside OUT

I know it's old news at this point, but by now I'm sure you've all heard that singer, dancer, and super sexy Latin DILF Ricky Martin has come out of the closet as a gay man.  I was actually going to let this one pass without commenting on it; for years I've just assumed Ricky was gay.  I mean come on, what straight guy can dance like that? Well maybe Zac Effron.  Oh wait...

Anyway, Ricky said his children, twin boys born via surrogacy, inspired him to go public with his sexuality and I say good for you amigo.  There's nothing more important in your life than your kids, and there's no more important thing that you can give them than the truth (well maybe except for the Santa thing).  Ricky Martin may be an international superstar, but when it comes to raising his children he's really no different then the rest of us.  The minute you teach them that they can't talk about their family life or worse, have to lie to people about it, you've planted the seed that there is something wrong with it.  And with themselves. 

I think staying in the closet is a personal choice. (Except if you're a politician.  I take issue with closeted politicians for a number of reasons, but that's another post.)  Having said that, children change the game.  I can't imagine what kind of supreme effort would have to go into keeping that secret while toteing around a toddler who's starting to learn how to talk.  Kids will innocently say the most embarassing things at exactly the wrong times every day.  There's nothing you can do about that.  So, do you keep them isolated from the world until they are old enough to teach them to lie effectively?  Do you instill the sense of shame at an early age?  What effect does that have on their self esteem, mental developement, and social interactions with children their own ages?  I can imagine Sabrina babbling endlessly "Daddy Papa Daddy Papa Daddy Papa" in line at the grocery store.  I can't imagine trying to shut her up when she does it so people won't figure out she has two male parents.  (If she starts telling them in a pinch we've been known to shop at Wal-mart, I'll lower the shame boom immediately.  There is a line you know.)  As gay parents, we do our part every day to help change society just by going about our lives.  Going to restaurants and shops.  Daycare enrollment.  Heck walking through the zoo or the park.  Now I'm not a celebrity worshipper, but I do give credit to people like Ricky Martin or Wanda Sykes who may have tried to stay under the gaydar but came out once they had children.  They knew it was the right thing to do.  The more visibility we have, the more accepted we'll be.  And the happier and healthier our children will be too.

Now if only Tom Cruise would read this.

Restful Weekend

We spent the weekend catching up on things around the house and errands we needed to do.  The last few were spent "running"...running to people's houses, the zoo, Art Festivals, happy hours (oops wait no that was last year...sigh) so we needed a freebie staying home.  Next weekend we'll be off and running again I'm sure, so right now I'm taking the lazy way out and just putting up pictures of some of our foolin's around.

Don't ask me...she's so not a morning person.  Yeah!

Cold plastic things are tasty.

Practicing cuteness for next weekend

Nice try, but it would be more realistic if those teeth were on the top.

Lady Gaga eat your heart out!

Thank You Mr. President!

I didn't know about this until today, but...

The Adoption Tax Credit has been increased and extended in the new Health Care Reform bill that President Obama has signed today. The Adoption Tax Credit will be increased by $1,000 retroactive to January 1, 2009 (from $12,150 to $13,150 in 2009 and from $12,170 to $13,170 in 2010) and it has been extended to December 31, 2011.

Think I'll use the extra dough to buy some tea bags...

This is great news for adoptive parents.

I've Lost That HRC Feeling (Again)

Gilbert Baker, creater of the famous Rainbow Flag, shows his feelings for HRC efforts at a recent rally for the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell in New York City.

Never a big fan of the HRC (Human Rights Campaign) here.  They are the self proclaimed "Face of the Movement" for gay equality.  Their whole message to main stream America is "Hey we're gay, but we're just like you, so accept us, be our friends, and if it's not too much trouble (and we're asking this very nicely so as not to offend) maybe you could, like, not vote us into obscurity in the next election by taking away all our rights?  That would be so awesome since we want to be just like you and everything!".  How about NO.  For some time now I haven't been seeing much success.  You've lost every ballot measure, including Prop 8 in California (how you managed that I have no idea, although I do remember reading a post on Andrew Sullivan's blog about how while protestors were jamming the streets HRC was hosting an expensive wine tasting to raise money.  And no I'm not making that up for laughs.) and have tried to thwart every effort to push gay marriage to the Supreme Court, only now trying to push your way into the current case brought by Ted Olsen after initially trying to stop it.  Anti gay legislators here in Arizona are pushing a bill through that is going to push single people to the end of the line in adopting from the state system.  I think we all know "single" is code for "homo".  What does HRC do?  They send out a plea for money and action to protect the rights of "single people".  The entire campaign (at least from the message I got and the stuff on your website) does not even mention gays!  You're HRC for pete's sake!  If you can't even say the word gay how the hell do you think you're going to advocate for us? 

HRC has been lobbying Congress to help pass health care reform.  It was announced that all the provisions of the bill that were there to help LGBT people have been dropped from the final version.  The biggest one, impacting my family, is the unfair practice of taxing domestic partner health benefits.  What this means is that the amount of money that is covered under our health care plan for a medical visit beyond the copay is taxed as income at the end of the year.  Why are we paying taxes on that when married couples aren't?  That's potentially a lot of money.  Apparently outraged, HRC posted this on their website:

While we are saddened that the House has abandoned provisions that would make care more accessible and affordable to our community, we recognize that the health reform measure will still help all Americans, including LGBT people. Important reforms like eliminating pre-existing condition limitations and expanding Medicaid will significantly impact people living with HIV and AIDS. We urge Congress to pass this legislation, addressing the nation’s dire need for reform in our health care system and clearing the way for Congress to act on the many issues it needs to address, including ones of great importance to the LGBT community.

OK maybe not outraged, but at least saddened.  I'm saddened too, since you spent a year on this and got, as usual, absolutely nothing.

You are good at hobnobbing with Congresspersons and holding expensive A-List Gay cocktail parties and exclusive NYC galas that most of us can't afford.  You're also good at the constant pleas for money and membership that flood my inbox on a weekly basis, but at this point it seems like your reason to be has risen above your reason for being.  A massive amount of money is raised and donated to politicians who quite honestly are not delivering on the change we're demanding, or that you are so politely asking for.  Now that I'm a father, I'm tired of waiting.  I'm tired of being told to be patient.  Quite frankly, I'm angry at the amount of time that has been wasted.  And I'm glad to see someone else gets it too.

GetEqual has recently launched and is also tired of waiting.  I applaud them for getting back to basics.  We need the lobbying, but we need some old fashioned ActUp strategies to go along with it.  A personal hero of mine, Lt. Dan Choi, was arrested the other day for handcuffing himself to the gates of the White House to protest Don't Ask Don't Tell.  He's made so much sacrifice already, and now this.  I'm so glad we have people like Lt. Choi doing what needs to be done to make change.  If GetEqual had half the funding HRC has what a wonderful world we'd see.