Twin Elephants of the Apocalypse

Our previous inflatable pool met it's demise earlier this summer when it was slashed by either a desert tortoise or a Labrador retriever.  No one's copping to it.

Prime suspects

Today we got a new one, complete with elephant water slide and trunk sprinkler. 



Rickety and Wobbly, your fun summer pals!

Now as everyone knows, real fun always has an element of danger, like riding in the very front of the roller coaster or Christmas fishing with Scott Peterson.  The Chinese must have had that in mind when they came up with the Spray N' Splash Elephant Slide.  It looked like fun on the box, with the inflatable elephant slide that sprays water from the trunk.  I figured since it's a water toy, most of the toxic lead finish the Chinese use to shine it up will probably wash off after a few uses.  Summer toddler fun!

Even using our air compressor, this thing took about half an hour or more to blow up.  I made sure to fill it extra firm so it wouldn't squish down with the 35 pounds of toddler that would soon be jumping on it.  My original plan was to fill it, make lunch, then go swimming.  That ended when I suggested this to Sabrina, who responded with "No Daddy, I go down a slide".  No manner of cajoling was going to change her mind.  Knowing how to pick my battles, I decided we could eat lunch after swimming.  Unbeknownst to me, children are always hungrier after taking their lives in their grubby little hands.

Now this slide has two loops on it where you tie it down to the bottom of the pool to keep it from floating away.  To be fair, the instructions call that point out.  What they don't point out is that the slide is as unstable as Michelle Bachman at a gay Pride parade.  It turned out to be almost impossible for Sabrina to climb without my assistance.  Even with all the air I pumped into it, the sides are useless for holding on to and keeping steady.  One wrong turn and it would come tumbling down, even with the two inches of safety string tied tight.  Usually it's the kid on the slide that holds her breath before hitting the water; in this case it was me.

Don't...Even...Breathe...

Works as designed.

When it did work without killing her, it was fun.  But this required lots of lifting and helping on the side of the father.  So much for relaxing in the chair.

And go...

The sprinkler part did work well.

Elephantastic!

Oh and I do apologize for the misleading title of this post.  By now you know I mean the pool by Twin Elephants of the Apocalypse.  Not these two:



1-2-3 Eyes on Me

16 in 2008.

17 in 2009.

20 in 2010.

8 as of June 5, 2011.

Those are the totals of how many children have drowned in Maricopa County, Arizona, since 2008.  I think as of today we're at 10, so we're on track to tie or surpass last year.  We live in the  desert, and while there are lakes, most if not all of these deaths occurred in backyard swimming pools.  My heart breaks every time I hear one of these stories on the news:  "I ran inside for two seconds", "There was no fence around the pool", "We thought he was in the house", "I thought you were watching her", "He crawled out the doggie door".  I don't know how you go on.  I am not sure I could.  I hear this stuff, and I think how could they let that happen?  It's not possible.  But it is.  Ask yourself honestly...do you know where your toddler is and what he/she is doing every second?  Even the five second gap it takes to get out the back door and into the pool?  Five seconds.  That's all it takes to end a life, and change others forever.

We don't have a pool in our yard.  We do have one in the community, and most of our family members have one at their homes.  I have that in my mind when ever we go somewhere.  This is one area of parenting I think you have to have in your mind all the time...watch your kid...especially if there is water anywhere in the vicinity.

Sabrina loves the water.  I'm glad she does; nothing gives kids more fun all summer than playing in the pool with family and friends.  But it does scare me a little.  I don't want the pool to be something she's drawn to before she's ready for it, before it's safe.  So we enrolled in Swimming Lessons.  It's mostly water safety at this point, and she's learning to climb out of the pool, breath control, and floating, among other things.  It's important to help young children develop skills that can make a difference in an emergency.  And have fun doing it.

Please.  Watch your kids around water.  Two seconds is too long.

Come on in the water's fine...

Jump in the Pool

Well we always said we'd have a house with a pool.  Somehow that didn't work out as planned, so the $12.99 Target special will have to do for now.  Gregg got her one that's a little nicer, but since the heat has put my backyard landscaping on hold there's not really a good place to put it.  So we're on the patio making due for now.  For some reason the hottest state in the union develops houses with backyards that are not big enough to put in a real pool.  Our crack (emphasis on crack) legislature allows the builders to make the lots and the streets smaller and smaller to cram more houses in each development increasing profit margins.  Not that I'm against profits, but geez come on give us some breathing room.  Once our standout immigration law goes into effect there won't be anyone to build them anyway.  If you don't live here, you've heard all about our attempt to de-Mexican the place, but the secret is when economic times were better everyone looked the other way while they built our houses, pools, resorts, and anything else we needed.  Not sure how I got here when I just wanted to show off a cute girl in a pool, but I digress...

In other news, we received Sabrina's birth certificate in the mail today.  The last piece of the adoption puzzle is put in place.  They told us it would take ten months, but it only took four.  So it's finally over.  Not much room to breathe, because we decided we're going to start again after the holidays.  The stress was so much fun the first time, without it I guess I'd feel like a fish out of water.  Unlike the fish below...