Twin Elephants of the Apocalypse

Our previous inflatable pool met it's demise earlier this summer when it was slashed by either a desert tortoise or a Labrador retriever.  No one's copping to it.

Prime suspects

Today we got a new one, complete with elephant water slide and trunk sprinkler. 



Rickety and Wobbly, your fun summer pals!

Now as everyone knows, real fun always has an element of danger, like riding in the very front of the roller coaster or Christmas fishing with Scott Peterson.  The Chinese must have had that in mind when they came up with the Spray N' Splash Elephant Slide.  It looked like fun on the box, with the inflatable elephant slide that sprays water from the trunk.  I figured since it's a water toy, most of the toxic lead finish the Chinese use to shine it up will probably wash off after a few uses.  Summer toddler fun!

Even using our air compressor, this thing took about half an hour or more to blow up.  I made sure to fill it extra firm so it wouldn't squish down with the 35 pounds of toddler that would soon be jumping on it.  My original plan was to fill it, make lunch, then go swimming.  That ended when I suggested this to Sabrina, who responded with "No Daddy, I go down a slide".  No manner of cajoling was going to change her mind.  Knowing how to pick my battles, I decided we could eat lunch after swimming.  Unbeknownst to me, children are always hungrier after taking their lives in their grubby little hands.

Now this slide has two loops on it where you tie it down to the bottom of the pool to keep it from floating away.  To be fair, the instructions call that point out.  What they don't point out is that the slide is as unstable as Michelle Bachman at a gay Pride parade.  It turned out to be almost impossible for Sabrina to climb without my assistance.  Even with all the air I pumped into it, the sides are useless for holding on to and keeping steady.  One wrong turn and it would come tumbling down, even with the two inches of safety string tied tight.  Usually it's the kid on the slide that holds her breath before hitting the water; in this case it was me.

Don't...Even...Breathe...

Works as designed.

When it did work without killing her, it was fun.  But this required lots of lifting and helping on the side of the father.  So much for relaxing in the chair.

And go...

The sprinkler part did work well.

Elephantastic!

Oh and I do apologize for the misleading title of this post.  By now you know I mean the pool by Twin Elephants of the Apocalypse.  Not these two:



Home Study Visit, Take Two

So today was the second home visit, and my turn to get interviewed by our social worker, Windsor. I took today off so I could clean house. Well mostly. It was also Ripley's birthday, so I had to spend a little time with my little guy. OK he's 108 pounds so not so little. So here was my day:
7 AM--try to pretend I'm sleeping so the Labs will leave me alone. Not working.
8 AM--give up pretending to sleep, because my face and hair are wet with Labrador saliva. Also every tennis ball in the house is now on my pillow against my face.
8:15 AM--Coffee's brewing, take the boys outside to play with the tennis ball.
8:40 AM--Mmmm, coffee. Take shower.
9:30 AM--Take Ripley to the vet for a dentist appointment. Yes, on his birthday. There's a cage full of 7 week old kittens in the lobby; Ripley begins picking out his birthday present.
10 AM--Teeth are fine, off to PetSmart to get birthday gifts. Explain that while they are fun to play with, you can have rawhide, but not a kitten. Listen to whining.
10:30 AM--Chase is elated that while it's Ripley's birthday, the rawhides come in two packs.
11-1:30 PM--Clean the house. Sigh.
1:30 PM--Kitten play break. Called Kathleen and told her those kittens are soooo cute. She came down to look. Went with her back to the vet and played with kittens. Kath ends up taking two home.
2:30 PM--Get home right before Gregg; pretend I've been cleaning this WHOLE time. Baby, I'm so tired! Finish the biography I was supposed to write last week.
3 PM--Windsor arrives. I immediately love her! She becomes my favorite golden girl. Yes, even past Bea Arthur. (It's OK, he knows I love him.)
Windsor and I had a great meeting. She is so easy to talk to. She eased all my fears about the process and assured us we had no need to worry, we'd get approved by the judge. She just wanted to get to know me, about my background, schooling, etc. The first thing she did was pull out pics of her two yellow Labs. She loved the boys, and they were on their best behaviour quietly sitting in their kennels. We talked about birthmothers, and she gave us tips to look out for. College age or career track women, real good chance. Teenage mothers, drama disasters. I pretty much figured that.
4:30 PM--Took the boys to Cosmo Park for some swimming and playing. Got a call from Gregg, "Hi I'm at the vet picking out a kitten..." HELL NO. Back away from the pussy! Phew, he was there looking at them, but thankfully didn't bring one home. But really they are so cute!
6:40 PM--Got home, hugged my baby, gave Ripley more birthday gifts, had a great dinner, called my sister to see how the kittens were doing, and just thought about how much I love my husband and want to take care of our child together...sigh.

Homestudy Visit, Round 1

I really need to update this more frequently. I've been gearing up for our annual User Conference at work this week in Las Vegas so it's been taking a lot of my time. Now that it's over maybe I can blog more regularly. On a depressing side note, even though I stayed at Caesar's Palace, I didn't get to go see Her Royal Cher-ness in her new Vegas show at the Colosseum. I did however shop at the Cher / Bette Midler store which I think is possibly the gayest store on the planet. I asked one of the girls working there if she ever met Cher. She said Cher does come in from time to time and is very nice. (I met her personal waiter and he told me she was a total bitch, and I like that better!) "This used to be the Celine store", she told me, "But when Cher came she had it closed down". Ha! Love that! It really is sooooo Cher...

Anyway, the home study visit. Our social worker, Windsor, came over last Friday the 16th to meet with Gregg and tour the house. So they had some peace and quiet I dropped the boys off at Day Camp on my way to work. Gregg said she was really nice, and was happy about the house. Of course she thinks the pond needs to either go or be fenced. Right now, I don't care either way. I like the koi, but don't want it to stand in the way of Project Baby. I wanted him to ask about the boys because I'm worried they will see two large dogs as a negative. Neither one of them would hurt a fly but they are pretty big; Ripley is over 100 pounds and Chase comes in around 85. Windsor, who says she's over 60, seemed like she was disappointed they weren't there. Apparently she has two Labradors herself and has also been involved in Lab rescue. Perfect! Here is someone that understands the breed. She loves Labs and there is no issue with them. She's coming back next Friday, the June 6th (Happy Birthday Ripley! My 6/6/06 baby...) to interview me. So I think I'll have the boys around and not worry about it.

She asked some questions about our relationship, family, how we grew up, thoughts on discipline, that kind of stuff. We also have to write autobiographical essays to give to the judge. Man this is getting to be hard...I didn't work this hard in college! More writing. We have to get them to her by the time she visits next Friday so we'll work on them over this three day weekend. On a side note, Gregg is emailing Michelle to see if she can take some pictures for us this weekend. We have to get that website going! We need them for our birth mother letter as well. After the next home visit I'm hoping it will be less then six weeks until we get approval from the judge, but I don't think anyone can predict how long that will take. After that, we'll finally be in the books and available for a pregnant birth mom to pick!