A Social Visit

Well we're more then half way there.  Sabrina's over four months old, and the adoption becomes final when she turns six.  Right now she's laying on the bed next to me screaming her head off.  Not crying or unhappy at all.  As I posted earlier, she's learned how to scream and is currently enjoying herself doing it.  This has been going on over an hour now.  She's apparently thrilled with herself that she can pull this off.  That makes one of us.  Her other new habit is trying to master the Bronx Cheer.  Such a lovely child.

Anyway the adoption.  Today we had a visit from our social worker.  We have four mandated visits during the process; after today we only have one left (September's).  Our SW is really nice and very easy going.  You can tell she really cares for children.  She is the same person who did our homestudy last year so she's very familiar with our case.  Today's visit lasted about an hour, and consisted mostly of just me bringing her up to date on Sabrina's progress, and us swapping stories about our Labs (she is very active in Labrador retriever rescue; see link to the side of the page).  The only drawback is this pleasant little hour costs $330.  Just another adoption expense!

Our next visit will be towards the end of September, after which our SW will write and deliver her report to the IAC in California, who will forward it to the court.  Once Sabrina turns six months old on October 18th, it will be off to L.A. for our finalization hearing with the judge.  Once that's complete, Gregg and I will officially and forever be her parents.  Her original birth certificate will be destroyed, and a new one issued with our names on it.  I wonder who will be the Mother?

That's Just Sick

Well I'm behind again in the blogging, but illness has descended upon the family so that's my excuse. This is Sabrina's second cold since starting daycare a month ago, and she's shared it with Those Two Daddies this time. We do think some of the nose running is related to teething, as she does have on again off again gum pain. So far there's no fever, but I just hate listening to her stuffiness as she tries to get a good night's sleep. It started Friday and seems like it might be a little better today. At any rate it can't last much longer. I have to give her credit, she still smiles and coos even when she's sick but she is more on the subdued side. There's some mild crankiness, but we're still greeted by waving arms and a smiling face when she sees us come to her crib in the morning.

On a side note, I've been interviewed for a story in the Echo, our local gay magazine, about adoption. It should hit the stands in a week or two, and I'll post a link when it does.

4 Months How Time Flies!

Well that little girl that lives with us turns four months old today. I still can't believe she's here. On one hand it seems like we've had her in our family forever almost like I can't remember what it was like without her. On the other, I remember how long we planned and waited for her arrival, and all those years plus four months have vanished in the blink of an eye. She's gone from this delicate little bundle we swaddled and tip toed around to a laughing and chattering Cuteness Factory. Last night she went for two hours straight, talking to her toys, her blanket, Ripley (they were nose to nose while she was telling him all about something--I wonder if it's like Family Guy where dogs understand baby chatter?), and of course us. I'm starting to wonder if we should teach her actual words or not because I have a feeling she'll never stop talking. She laughs at everything, from Papa's beard to her own reflection in the mirror to sucking snot out of her nose with a suction bulb. Putting on a shirt is a game; she smiles when I grab her arm to put it in the sleeve because she knows she's going to grab it halfway through and giggle as she tries to stick it in her mouth. She listens intently to stories we read her because she loves to lay next to us on her back while we hold up the book so she can see the pictures. She couldn't get enough of her cousins on Saturday as they played with her all afternoon making her laugh.

Oh well I guess we have our work cut out for us. It won't be easy crushing this one; the force is strong in her!

This Little Piggy...

Not much going on right now; this weekend my sister hosted a "Piggies and Paws" party. They take a hand or foot print of your kid and turn it into art. We had Sabrina's footprints done, and they are going to turn it into a dragonfly print, where her feet are the wings. It should turn out pretty nice. They have almost any kind of picture you want. (Sorry for the short post.)

An Adoption, An IVF, and Surrogacy Walk Into a Bar...

OK, today's entry relies on that reliable ratings grabber from our old friend TV. You know, when one show's characters visit another show. Like when Maude visited the Bunkers, Newhart woke up from dreaming an entire series, Superman horned in on Lucy's territory, or Fonzie met Mork from Ork. Ah comedy gold. Today I was going to tell you all about our weekend when we visited some new friends for lunch at Paradise Bakery. We all met via the blog world. Chantelle and Cyndi are two expectant Moms to be, and Gerry and Rhonda are a straight couple doing surrogacy in India. Since there's no use re-inventing the wheel and everyone else has done a nice job already, you can read our crossover adventures for yourself on their blogs...

Those Two Daddies guest star on Our Journey to Surrogacy India.

Those Two Daddies guest star on Our Life Our Dreams

Friday Fotos (Lazy Way)

With my Aunt from Long Island

Sabrina and Papa

Big Smiles!

Chillaxin' in the Crib, MTV Style

Yeah I know it's the "lazy man's post" when you just throw up random pictures. Seriously though, that last one has definate attitude.

A Note for Jeve...

To: Jeve (John and Steve)
From: Grobby (Gregg and Bobby)
re: Leather Storksak Diaper Bag

Hi Jeve
First, thanks for sharing your surrogacy story; I really enjoy your blog and look forward to your updates. I read your Diaper Bag entry today and wanted to comment on it, but my wordy self indulgence would have hijacked your comments page so I thought a post would be better.

Now being from Long Island myself, I have to say you Manhattan gays really know how to work the style thing. (I'm of course leaving out the Chelsea Boys because expensive skin tight Lycra and $100 eyelash tints make them look more like lower tier members of the Justice League, not fashion mavens of Park Avenue.) That leather bag certainly fits right in. I'm sure it's fabulous! I read with interest your description of all the neat compartments and organization features it has. Now let me tell what is going to happen to that fashion accoutrement after the little bundle of joy arrives...

The beautiful pebbled cowhide will take on a new mottled look when the baby puke on your sleeve you didn't see gets smeared across the front of the bag. It will complement the discolored patches caused by the punctured tube of Butt Cream (the baby's, not yours) at the bottom of the bag. That hot, sexy leather smell all gay boys adore will turn into the scent of perfumed powder that emanates from the packet of plastic bags used for wrapping dirty diapers in. (Think of the poop bags you use to pick up after your dog, only with twice as much fragrance.) It permeates everything within a 50 yard radius. Of course, once the O-ring on the bottom of your Ventaire bottle gets warped from heating it one time too many the 8 oz. of formula that leaks out should be contained in the freeze bag until you unwittingly open it and it spills all over your Berluti loafers. The detachable key ring is perfect for holding those little dangling tinkly things that hang from car seats that you can swear you hear in the middle of the night even though it's impossible. And the pen holders? They'll be holding GermX dispensers, not Montblancs. The rest of the bag will be filled with onsies, extra diapers, wipe holders, dirty bottles, several bottles of lotion, pacifiers, stuffed toys, teething rings, washcloths, and a few bottles of airline liquor (for you, not Junior).

I know, it's depressing. But in my vast (OK 3 1/2 months) experience of fatherhood, I've learned to give up the trappings of semi-fabulousness in exchange for utility and sensibility. In other words, "go lesbian". Sigh.

On the other hand, last night I laid on the bed next to Sabrina, both of us on our backs, as I held up the story book and read Little Kitten Finds the Moon as she stared in wonder at the sparkly pictures and listened intently to every word just to hear the sound of my voice. At the end we turned and looked at each other and when she laughed that paid for every last piece of baby equipment we ever bought.

Sabrina G, Mega Star

So there we were at Nordstroms, ducking in and out of the couture, trying to avoid the paparazzi and escape our adoring public. OK it wasn't exactly like that. We were at the Kohl's Two Day Sale getting an extra 15% off the already low low prices. We're parents now, the Nordies days are over. I was carrying Sabrina while Gregg filled her stroller with bargains. As I came around a clothing rack with my new Captain America t-shirt in hand I saw he was talking to a woman I didn't know. It turns out she's one of my readers named Rhonda and she recognized us from the blog. She shared that she and her husband were creating their family via surrogacy in India and her baby was due at the end of the summer. It was very interesting, and I thought I'd share her blog with all of you. I started reading it and I have to say what a journey they've had! So it's kind of my recommendation of the week. Take a look.

Day Care For You

Well the moment I've been dreading has arrived...Day Care. Gregg is back to work in the office on Monday. I'm on vacation this week. So we decided since we're both still home, this would be the week to wean all three of us on to Day Care. We're at Kindercare; Gregg has done the research and the visits and decided this was the best place for us to go. Everyone's nice; the building is secure, the other kids seem happy--I just hate dropping her off there. Unfortunately, right now is not the time to go to a single earner household. There are still a few thousand dollars of adoption fees left to pay (court and lawyer costs, social worker visits, etc.) and we just can't do the stay at home dad scenario--yet. We'll get there some day soon. So this week we've been taking her for a few hours each day. Starting Monday, I'll be dropping her off in the morning around 7:30, and Papa will pick her up at about 3:30 in the afternoon. Sabrina seems fine with it. We're the ones who aren't happy (especially me). I know it has to be, but well...are you sure none of you guys don't want to drop everything and just come over and watch her?

Scream, Too

Calm before the storm

Oh I broke down and got a Facebook account. I'm already bored with it. I'm reading notes from friends telling me their Starbucks order and their happy hour plans and finding myself not really caring. No wonder I waited so long. Also, if I hear once more about Twitter or Tweeting I think I'll open a vein. But that's just me. On to the post

...

Fate has intertwined two or three events into a stormy weekend. They are, in order of appearance, Sabrina learning she can scream (shriek) at the top of her lungs but not knowing when it's appropriate, 3 month vaccinations, and the potential beginnings of teething (yes at just a tad over three months old!).

So the little darling is a chatterbox lately, talking up a storm of coos and ahhs and ohhs and--I never quite got the understanding of the phrase "blood curdling scream" until now. Insert it after a particularly sweet series of cooing sounds. Your hair will stand on end and your fingernails begin falling out. The first time she did it, time stopped, and we all stared at each other. She was as surprised as we were. Did I just make that sound? Of course I ran over to see what was wrong--nothing, she's back to cooing. My aunt is visiting from NY and Sabrina was in her Bumbo seat (a cool invention on it's own) playing with her "boyfriend", a creepy blanket with a teddy bear head in the middle of it. She's talking to it, lovingly, then SCREAM, then talking, another SCREAM and well you get the idea. It's kind of unnerving! Who are we raising, Sybil?

On Friday we went for the three month checkup. She received a series of shots, which she was very good for, but the doctor told us crankiness was possible for the next few days. Well she was fine Friday and most of Saturday. We went to my sister's for a barbecue and she was a little fussy. She cried most of the hour drive home, and most of the night until we put her to bed about an hour earlier then usual (about 8:30) She went right to sleep.

Today, fussing and crying most of the day inserting the newly minted SCREAM as required. Children's Tylenol didn't do much, but Gregg had some luck with a spot of Oragel. We've been finding that teething pain can start at about this time, and since she's growing so fast (almost 15 pounds and 24 inches long--not fat, but a big girl!) it could be it. After her bath (which she loves) the screaming began but sleep came fast after the bottle. She seems to be content right now. I hope this is vaccination related and ends tomorrow, which also happens to be the start of...Day Care. I'm not looking forward to it...I'll tell you how it goes!

Interview With the Labrador

"Chase, it's great to have you here today. I'm a big fan. I loved you in Stealing Daddy's Chicken Off the Counter and Chewing Papa's Cell Phone. Oh and don't even get me started on Don't Eat the Q-Tips! Comedy gold."

"Stick with me kid. We'll have a blast. I'll share my tennis balls with you, and give you some of the best pickin's when they leave the lid of the trash can open."

"This could be the beginning of a beautiful partnership. One thing though kid--don't tell Ripley; he'll run right to Those Two Daddies and ruin all of the fun. He's such a killjoy."

"Labrador please! One smile from me and they won't care what we do!"

"For Pete's sake. I eat a remote with 187 channels on it and this is all that's on?"

3rd Month's a Charm

Rocking the Disco PJ's

Today is Sabrina's 3 month birthday. She's a quarter of a year old...yikes! It seems like just yesterday we found her in that bottle on the beach--Oh wait that was I Dream of Jeannie.

What a ride so far...the planning, meetings, waiting, hoping, dreaming--waiting! Worth every minute. Bringing home that cute but mostly unresponsive little bundle from the hospital, and looking at her now--laughing, smiling, kicking, interacting with us, our family and friends, even toys. Private unintelligible conversations with stuffed animals or blankets. Waking up every morning--every one--with a big smile on her face. Falling asleep in our arms, or while laying on our chest in bed. I'm not sure what I thought it would be like, but it's better. I love her, I love my wonderful Gregg, our family with The Boys...Happy 3 Month Chipmunk!

Happy Birthday Mema

I love and miss you...

The Dirty Dozen

1997...Ah love!

Well late again! I meant to post on Monday, the 13th about how it was our 12 year anniversary. Sabrina is now 0-2 for gifts having blown us off on Fathers's Day and now this. We'll just add it to her tab...

I wasn't going to do this, but because some have asked, here's the scoop on how we met. (Skip this if you're allergic to dairy, specifically cheese...) In 1996 I was working for PETCO as a store manager in Phoenix. Each year they host a manager's meeting for all the managers in the company, and that year it was in Long Beach, CA. It was kind of fun, kind of boring, all at the same time. We were staying at the Sheraton across from the Queen Mary, and I remember coming across the lobby one night on my way to dinner. Standing at the foot of the stairs was this rather cute guy with a really dopey grin on his face, dressed in a suit, obviously waiting for someone. I remember thinking Hmm that guy's cute and walking on. Fast forward to 1997, and I had the opportunity to move out to LA and open a new store. Since I wasn't doing much here and had been single for a few years, I decided to go for it. I really hadn't been to LA at all except for one weekend when I went with my parents to visit some friends and happened to go shopping in West Hollywood. (That is an entirely different story, standing on Santa Monica Blvd in front of the Rainbow flags with my not-yet-out-to parents. Never having been to a gay ghetto before I was in awe and so pissed that I wouldn't have a chance to get back there to party later that night! Like dangling chicken (no pun intended) in front of a hungry dog! I don't recommend walking into Drake's with your mother...)

So following the directions of the District Manager (just drive to LA, you'll find me...yeah right) I packed my stuff, jumped in the car with my dog Mojo, and off we went. I was pleasantly surprised to find my store would be on Robertson and Pico, just a few miles from WeHo. Jackpot! I can be a little shy, and have a hard time meeting people, so I mostly hung out by myself. (I'm not counting the idiot I went on a few dates with. He was pretty, but other then that should have had an "L" tattooed on his forehead.) Anyway each April PETCO has a booth at the Fairgrounds in Pomona at the Pet Fair and all the managers had to go help set up. I had not met any of the other managers in my new district, and was happy to walk in there and see that guy from the year before was already there! We all went to lunch and that's when I found out he lived in WeHo as well. We became fast friends, going out all the time, and by July we were officially dating.

This is of course my rosy recollection. Ask Gregg and he'll tell a tale of being stalked by a mysterious weirdo with highlights. But that's just him...

Xanadu Baby!

My butch husband just received his copy of Xanadu in the mail last week. He claims it was for me, but I don't think so. This is what happens if you let your baby watch it too many times. Enjoy!