Thursday, May 29, 2008
The list of families waiting to adopt on the IAC website is thirteen pages long. As people are put "on the books" they are added to the end of the family pages. I've been corresponding with another couple, Bobby and Ian, who have been on the books since March. They are currently at the very bottom of page ten. So it looks like you move up about a page a month. A few weeks ago, I noticed a new couple, Paul and Craig, added to the end of the list so I checked out their website. They are a mixed race couple just like us and share many of the same activities and hobbies as we do. They've been together about as long as we have. The black guy even does gourmet cooking! Very similar. Creepy almost. When I checked the list today, their status had changed from "available" to "matched", and they are only at the bottom of page twelve. So it only took them about a month from the time they were approved until the time they matched a birth mother. This gives Gregg and I some hope because maybe once we're approved and on the books maybe we won't have to wait very long for a match either. Of course, just because they matched does not mean they're all set. Many things can still happen to upset the apple cart, but it's a good start. I'm being a little sarcastic here; of course I hope all works out for the best for them.
Paul and Craig, I have no idea who you are, but you're in my thoughts for a quick and successful adoption!
Friday, May 23, 2008
Anyway, the home study visit. Our social worker, Windsor, came over last Friday the 16th to meet with Gregg and tour the house. So they had some peace and quiet I dropped the boys off at Day Camp on my way to work. Gregg said she was really nice, and was happy about the house. Of course she thinks the pond needs to either go or be fenced. Right now, I don't care either way. I like the koi, but don't want it to stand in the way of Project Baby. I wanted him to ask about the boys because I'm worried they will see two large dogs as a negative. Neither one of them would hurt a fly but they are pretty big; Ripley is over 100 pounds and Chase comes in around 85. Windsor, who says she's over 60, seemed like she was disappointed they weren't there. Apparently she has two Labradors herself and has also been involved in Lab rescue. Perfect! Here is someone that understands the breed. She loves Labs and there is no issue with them. She's coming back next Friday, the June 6th (Happy Birthday Ripley! My 6/6/06 baby...) to interview me. So I think I'll have the boys around and not worry about it.
She asked some questions about our relationship, family, how we grew up, thoughts on discipline, that kind of stuff. We also have to write autobiographical essays to give to the judge. Man this is getting to be hard...I didn't work this hard in college! More writing. We have to get them to her by the time she visits next Friday so we'll work on them over this three day weekend. On a side note, Gregg is emailing Michelle to see if she can take some pictures for us this weekend. We have to get that website going! We need them for our birth mother letter as well. After the next home visit I'm hoping it will be less then six weeks until we get approval from the judge, but I don't think anyone can predict how long that will take. After that, we'll finally be in the books and available for a pregnant birth mom to pick!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Saturday, May 10, 2008
We met at Kobalt in central Phoenix for happy hour first. It's kind of a nice no attitude place. From there we popped over to Fez for dinner. The guys are really interested in our adoption plans. I think all of them would be great fits for being fathers. I know I want them to really be connected to little Finster because they've all got great attitudes and would have a positive impact on it. (Um, I don't know if it will be a boy or a girl, and typing "it" is shorter then "him or her". So, "it" it is.) I think everyone is excited for us, but it seems our gay friends are really connected to the idea. I think it must be because in our community becoming dads is rare, and not that easy. But it's so cool to hear them talk about that way. The other thing that strikes me is even though these guys are talking about following us in adoption, they are doing just what Gregg and I did and are being very methodical about it. Anton talked about how they need to get things squared away with one or the other of the houses and was comparing the schools and lifestyle between central Phoenix and Goodyear. Just the way they all want to get things in order. I think you have to get into a mindset for this. We talked about it for so long and just needed to have everything fall into place. For us once the remodeling of the house was almost finished that just seemed to click it. I also think the guys are watching us with interest to see just what happens here. I don't blame them it's a huge step and I wish we had someone to follow. The online forums and the IAC counselors are great, but besides reading everything we can online and in books, having a friend that went through it would be so much nicer.